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| Went total AFC/needy/desperate with this girl I'm into https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=141321 |
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| Author: | chazman0426 [ Sat Jul 21, 2012 6:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Went total AFC/needy/desperate with this girl I'm into |
Is there a chance I can recover? Background Story I dated this girl 5 years ago and left her because I thought she was cheating on me with some other guy because she was always with him and she's the type that hangs with a lot of guy friends more than girls. I got jealous and left and shut her out of my life. 5 years later she gets back in touch with me and we hit it off and she's constantly texting and calling me everyday (I didn't do anything) because I wasn't that into her. She then confesses to me over text that she has feelings for me and I said I kinda like her as well. However she lives 3 hours away and I was in the middle of moving to the city after college and was planning to date around a bit so she wants to be friends for now. What happened: She still texts me everyday and calls me and my feelings grew and I now have oneitis. This past week she started being more distant lately and I found myself texting her more than she did back. For 6 weeks now, we had both planned for her to come up to my new place in DC next weekend and have a lot of fun. However there was a big miscommunication. Over text the other day, she said she could come up and do lunch for one hour on Tuesday and she worded it like she was going to do that instead of come up for the weekend. So I got all mad and pissy with her, told her to leave and ignored her and she got upset and it turned out she mean't she's coming up twice that week, not skipping out on the weekend. I apologized to her on the phone, told her I'm an insecure idiot and that would never happen again. She reminded me we're just friends so what's the big deal anyway. (although last time we made out and stuff, friends don't do that). I have since stopped texting her and she hasn't texted me that much but it's only been a day. I was just wondering how do I recover from this? As of now she's still planning on coming but I was thinking to just back off from a few days and let her send me a few texts first (to makes sure interest is still there)? |
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| Author: | TheFreshPrince [ Sat Jul 21, 2012 6:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: She still texts me everyday and calls me and my feelings grew and I now have oneitis. This past week she started being more distant lately and I found myself texting her more than she did back.
Holy switcheroo, SPAM! It looks to me like this was a classic case I've seen a million times. Check me, if I'm wrong:Girl (probably breaks up with guy or has some other issue come up and) is needy. Girl contacts old friend in order to feel connected to world. Guy begins to like girl, and reciprocates attention. Girl starts to feel like her needs are being met by guy because he's simping like there's no tomorrow. Girl lowers contact, to bask in her needs being met. Guy sees loss of contact, and begins to become a little needy himself, hoping for that strong connection girl used to give. Your imminent issue is that you got pissed and acted out on her coming this weekend. Don't continue down that line. If she's coming, let her come. But as far as texting and calling, cut it back or cut it off. Find out what the problem was that sent her running to you. Being needy herself, she's looking for something solid and strong to hold onto until she gets her bearings. That can be you, but not if you're making her your emotional center. If what she says and does controls your emotions, you're just flapping in the breeze like she is, so she will find you are not solid enough for her to hold on to. |
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| Author: | chazman0426 [ Sat Jul 21, 2012 7:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I agree, I think I'll just go no contact for the weekend. She's never had me not respond for more than a day. |
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| Author: | melomelody [ Mon Jul 23, 2012 5:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
you should actually text her your achievements. for example instead of sending a simple text. tell her that u're managing a drama and you think you want to cast her. may not be real just think along this line. |
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