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Photos of a guy.
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Author:  Andrewsmooth [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 5:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Photos of a guy.
Background: Girlfriend and me at we are currently having a LDR. Last week we spend together and I found things that bother me.

7 July

Last week I was with her, and to my surprise I found things that make me think.

She went to a beach party so far nothing strange, call the next day to tell me how it went, and began to say that the harassment that night had been too great and that she felt desired, as I do not give her enough attention and others give. She spoke about one boy in particular but didn't gave many indications only he had danced with him and he kept going after her a couple of times.


15 july

I spent a week at her house, I was messing on her computer when I came across pictures of her with the group with the girls and two boys that I knew, beyond this one more shot with the two boys alone the photo in question was only the two boys she had downloaded the photos on the site of the club at the time we had a great discussion and I left her house.

I thought that picture was very strange and suspicious and went to see the conversation between her and a facebook friend who had left her that day and that was in the group photo. and basically talked about how those two boys were handsome and muscular. And then I realized that the boy who had walked behind her in the disco was the same photo.

I was angry and went to talk to her because Ray had a picture of two guys on her computer because it made ​​no sense. To which she replied that I was making films that had their picture because it was the staff who had left her, and they were friends of friends and had added that he did not on facebook or the number it had. I believed that story, I asked if there was a photo, she said no, the past few days I found it in gmail more photos of these two guys sent by the same friend who has a passion for one of the boys and my girlfriend forwarded to her best friend like a prize one of those guy walk.


So any thoughts.
Author:  870 [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
The interesting thing about your post is that nowhere in it do you acknowledge the fact that you broke this girl's trust by snooping through her private things, indicating a lack of trust on your part that in all likelihood doomed this relationship before it ever got started.

Your boy,
870
Author:  870 [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Cant those types of moves never be seen as neccessary evils? Especially when they turn up shit thats been done behind ones back?
The problem with this kind of reasoning is that it ignores the underlying beliefs that cause one to violate their partner's privacy in order to confirm or discredit their faithfulness. People who do so typically come from a needy, insecure place that causes them to be overly possessive of their significant others or distrust them entirely.

It is this possessiveness, this lack of faith, creates a self-fulfilling prophecy, pushing said significant other farther away, ironic though it may seem. I can't tell you how many married or otherwise spoken-for women I've laid next to post-coitus only to hear them say, almost verbatim, "Hell, if he thinks I'm cheating on him, I might as well do it."

That may sound ridiculous, but I think we all realize that if a relationship doesn't have trust, it doesn't have anything, and the sentiments expressed above are a clear indication that the absence of faith in one's partner leads said partner to behave in an untrustworthy manner.

The better option is to trust freely, understanding that if something underhanded is indeed taking place, you will find out soon enough. And you won't have to invade her privacy to do it.

Your boy,
870
Author:  Andrewsmooth [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
You are absolutly right.... But, she was the one to start this.

She would snoop up my stuff.... txts and facebook and also she had my account password without telling for a short time. So since she thinks she has all the right... I think I do too. Not a thing im proud. She didnt even complain because she was the one to do that.
Author:  870 [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 2:57 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You are absolutly right.... But, she was the one to start this.

She would snoop up my stuff.... txts and facebook and also she had my account password without telling for a short time. So since she thinks she has all the right... I think I do too. Not a thing im proud. She didnt even complain because she was the one to do that.
In other words, neither of you trust each other, and this relationship was over before it ever began.

Time to move on, broheim.

Your boy,
870
Author:  TheSeagull [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 4:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
in my world, it's very possible to trust your partner completely, but at some point down the road develop a suspicion, that your significant other is doing something significantly wrong.

At this point i personally would be rather safe than sorry, and instead of hanging around like luggage trying to extract the truth, indeed confirm for myself what is or isnt going on. Invading privacy, i agree, it's a rook move, but somebody's got to do it.

If i am wrong, that's my prerogative and i can feel like a little bitch later on as much as i want, but in most cases i think that the suspicion comes from something more than just a personal sense of paranoia and insecurity.
I agree with this. Snooping is bad. But a man can only afford so many sleepless nights wondering before needing a closure. If a serious suspicion arises, you do what you have to do. Of course, if the snooping around reveals nothing, your trust will only grow and next time you will not so quickly jump to the snooper-duper.
Author:  melomelody [ Mon Jul 23, 2012 5:54 am ]
Post subject: 
that's so not cool of you. u should have a bigger heart and respect her freedom. give her space. she will appreciate it.
Author:  jfp [ Tue Jul 24, 2012 2:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
that's so not cool of you. u should have a bigger heart and respect her freedom. give her space. she will appreciate it.
All of my no. If you distrust her without reason to, then something is wrong with you. But you clearly have a reason. The fact of the matter is that you both have trust issues. Like 870 said, the relationship was doomed since those began. Get back on better footing. With you in the dominant position. Or get back to the point where you're able to trust her enough that she can go somewhere that has males, without becoming worried. The issue with LDR's is that you aren't there in the flesh to reassert your... position so to speak. I'm against them as statistically speaking, they rarely end in an acceptable manner. But that's my policy.
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