PUA Forum :: Girlfriend seems slightly distance lately.

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Girlfriend seems slightly distance lately. https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=141074	Page 1 of 2

Author:	LEF2226 [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 6:46 pm ]
Post subject:	Girlfriend seems slightly distance lately.
I've been seeing this girl for almost 3 months. Everything has gone great up to about 2 weeks ago until the frequency and intensity (length and enthusiasm) of her text messages have declined. And we've been hanging out slightly less (she's recovering from mono, so maybe that's why). Two days ago she didn't text me for 24 hours (which was a first) although I know 100% she was working and hanging out with her girl friends that night. Yesterday she called which we never talk on the phone. And seemed fine, but when I asked about her schedule this coming week she said she had no plans thursday so maybe then. Why wouldn't she just say, "awesome I'm open thursday?" With all that said, she seems the same in person. Don't know if the relationship is starting to get normalize (i.e., things don't seem as special anymore to her), she's on her period and sick, or she's truly trying to distance herself from me. We did see her ex-boyfriend at a party the other night. I didn't know it was her ex at the time and everything was cool. Later that night I brought up something about the guy and she explained that the guy was her ex. She then told me how her ex said some really mean things to her back in the day but that she was glad they could be civil with each other now. I didn't really say anything, just listened and almost fell asleep. Wondering if that has anything to do with it possibly?

Author:	dark one [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 7:25 pm ]
Post subject:
Sounds to me like her interest level is dropping, in the start her interest level was high (90-100%) because you were a challenge, you were gaming her, and she viewed you as high value, somewhere along the line you have lost that, you need to become the alpha male again, you need to be exciting, and you need to make sure things don't get routine. It sounds like she still like you (interest level perhaps around 70%) but her interest is become less and less by the day, and once it hits 50% you can bet your ass she will cheat! what do you do? start being more assertive! stop calling her and texting if she does not respond, just go live you life and forget about it, have a life out side her! if she wants to do something and you have plans then stick with those plans! create some distance, don't be mean but push away a little, don't be cold but don't be clingy, you have to reward her when she is good and punish her when she is bad. There are many book, and articles on how to have a solid relationship, google is your best tool!

Author:	dark one [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 7:29 pm ]
Post subject:
try something for me will ya? don't contact her until she contact you, and when she does wait 24hr to respond, then give her a simple reply and see how she reacts, I will bet she will respond before that 24 hrs is up, and ask you what is wrong? If she does you simply say "I was busy" and then answer he question with as few words as possible.

Author:	LEF2226 [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 7:38 pm ]
Post subject:
I don't text back immediately though. Even if she texts me back in 10 minutes, I usually take 2-4 hours to respond. For example, after not texting me for 24 hours, I didn't text back for like 10 hours and the reply was short and non-flirty.

Author:	LEF2226 [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 7:43 pm ]
Post subject:
Actually, could the problem be that I never invite her out with my friends (which are mostly losers anyways). As a result, we usually hang out with her friends. And, this is making me look clingy in some sort of way.

Author:	dark one [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 9:10 pm ]
Post subject:
No clue man, could be, might be good to show her your social value, have her come out, show her a good time, show her how you act around your friend and other women, but if this is the case its only a small piece of the puzzle! Things to ask you self: From her point of view how is your social value (do you have friends, a life out side of her and hobbies) How is your sex life: Is it boring or is it exciting, do you stimulate her mentally? do you get her off? If you can give your gf an orgasm on a weekly basis with your penis or mouth she wont need to go looking for another man. Are you an alpha male: When she asks you a questions like "what do you want to do" do you say "I don't know you pick" or do you make tell her what you want? women want a leader not a push over. Are you overly emotional? Its ok to tell a women when you are not happy or how you feel but its another thing to whine and throw a temper , if you don't like something be calm, state your point, and let it be known thats how you feel, no need to go on and on about it or get super emotional. Do you invest more in the relationship then her? She should always be slightly more interested in you then you are in her, you only do nice things when she deserves them! and if she is not texting or giving you attention then its time for you to push away just slightly more then she is. Why should you go out of your way to contact her when she doesn't care? on the other hand when she does what you want you better treat her like gold! reward her. Are you boring? Do you make her excited about seeing you? do you go out on hikes together, do try new food, do you joke around, do you do crazy stuff? or do you sit around watching movies every time she comes over? you need to excite her emotions from time to time, make get excited about hanging out with you! you should be her drug! Another thing about that last point, being exciting and trying new things is not only a good way to keep her coming back for more but if she ever break up with you in the future it will work to your advantage in a massive way!!! If she experienced all her "firsts" with you then every other guy will seem boring, and she will remember that you made her life exciting. For example: You take your gf to eat sushi for the first time, then you go to the sex shop with her, get her an outfit, and come home and have anal for the first time. Now she breaks up with you and her new bf takes her to applebee's, a movie and then goes home and has boring sex....afterwords she remember how exciting your dates were, how she was always trying new things! she misses you! Another reason to do this is for your own sanity! you can get bored as well, its not always the women who gets bored so you have to always try new things to keep that fire burning!

Author:	LEF2226 [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 10:31 pm ]
Post subject:
Thanks for the reply dark one. I think I'm golden on all of your suggestions, except the excitement factor right now, which isn't my fault. She's been sick with mono for a few weeks, so we've been watching a lot of movies on the couch as she gets better. I agree movie night after movie night definitely isn't exciting. But, I'd hope she appreciates me coming to hang out, rather than refusing to see her till she better. She also has missed seeing a lot of her friends b/c of being sick, so maybe she wants to see them.

Author:	dark one [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 2:36 am ]
Post subject:
Here is the thing, what makes sens to you and I does not to a women, women think with the emotional side of the brain and men with the logical, this means that women have a short memory when it comes to nice things you do, and unless they excite her emotional they don't count for much, and in fact can make you look needy. You would think hanging out with her when she is sick would make her think "what a great guy" right? WRONG, what this says to her is "Im sick and he has nothing better to do so he's hanging out with me every night", now its ok to stop in and see what she is doing but just because she is sick doesn't mean you neglect to act alpha, you think she will remember how nice you were when your value is low???? Nope! So back off a little, make her work to see you a bit, you have to realize that being overly nice will back fire and right now she is not treating you as she should so you should be punishing her, when she starts to act how you want then you reward her with attention and love.

Author:	LEF2226 [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 3:44 am ]
Post subject:
Yeah, I definitely see your point and understand the psychology behind your argument. Would flaking on her when she has been behaving bad be considered punishment? Because she invited me over tomorrow and to the beach this week. I'd like some examples of reasonable punishers if you don't mind.

Author:	dark one [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 3:56 am ]
Post subject:
Its hard to tell her frame without talking to her....but you could say you are busy tomorow and you will get back to her about the beach, give it a day and say "yeah lets hit the beach this weekend, I have to jet but see you saturday" if she starts to become more open, texting you more, talking to you then you can reward her, but until that happens hold out.

Author:	melomelody [ Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:01 am ]
Post subject:
she needs time to move on so i guess you have to give her that

Author:	nighter [ Mon Jul 23, 2012 3:33 pm ]
Post subject:
dark one, i like your responses, very useful

Author:	Billydee1995 [ Wed Nov 30, 2016 10:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend seems slightly distance lately.
When your girl starts acting up like this, the 24 hour thing works.but when your being short with her and she asks whats wrong...how long should you keep it up after that?

Author:	Cross De Lena [ Thu Dec 01, 2016 12:20 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend seems slightly distance lately.
Aside your relationship. What do you have going on for you? Have any hobbies, do you spend time with friends, etc.?

Author:	Billydee1995 [ Thu Dec 01, 2016 1:09 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Girlfriend seems slightly distance lately.
Yes, and i do these things frequently,especially when she acts distant.i just wanna know when i should decide shes learned her lesson and i can stop being distant back?

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