PUA Forum :: Repairing a friendship

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Repairing a friendship https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=139646	Page 1 of 1

Author:	Tundra [ Sun Jul 01, 2012 6:18 am ]
Post subject:	Repairing a friendship
Alright so this 8/10 started working at my job a few months ago, we were friends for a while (talked just about everday, hung out alot, she calls all the time) but she fucked one of my co-workers (didn't really sweat it, just turned me off eventually). Later on she confessed that she's been with like close to 20 guys and shes not even 21yo yet. She's kind of an attention whore, slightly vindictive. We stayed friends the whole time, I ain't even mad, kinda respected her game. But.. She starts getting fat, she's not obese but she is noticeably bigger and I just don't find her attractive anymore (believe me I know I'm a jerk for this but I can't control it). She went to the gym for a little while but she's not really serious about it, on the other hand I've been taking very good care of myself. I started acting differently (not a snob but I took up other activities like reading), genuinely had less (almost no) interest in her. She chalked it up to an attitude problem, or that I was mad about something. I realize that much of her interaction with other people is simply to validate herself, she just can't go without being the center of attention. She starts finding ways to get my attention but none of it works, I ignore most of her calls which really pissed her off. Everytime I see her face ringing on my phone, I just get really lazy and feel like "wtf does she want now"... I do feel a little bad about having that attitude when she obviously takes the time to call me.. All of this actually worked against me because the more distant I got, the harder she tried. She would often drive over to my house and we would sit in her car and smoke a cig while we talked. I used to look forward to this activity unlike nowadays. One of the last times we met up, after I got out of the car and we hugged eachother goodbye like usual, she started kissing my neck... And then about 2 days ago she was basically begging me to fuck her, I mean it was so obvious she wanted it, but it really turned me off even more. She begs me to come back to her place because she "doesn't want to be alone while she takes a shower". Can we be more obvious? We sit in her car and talk, mostly work gossip, and she wears dresses that don't even fit, keeps trying to get me to look at her tits, makes off-hand comments about her ass, plays with my hand and rubs it on her leg, but I'm just off in space waiting for it to end. We finish our convo and she drives away, and less than 10 minutes later she calls me and says she's coming back to pick me up so she doesn't have to shower alone.... I tell her over and over that I really don't feel like it.. She insists, "I have something to show you".. She arrives outside, calls me 15 times in a row, I don't answer a single one. She then texts me "I promise you that was the most fucked up thing anyone has ever done to me". I didn't respond. That was the last thing she said to me, we ignored eachother the last time we were at work. Its just awkward. All of this happened because she wouldn't listen, I told her over and over that I didn't want to go back to her place (because I knew it would lead to her jumping me, but I never said this). She basically ignored it all and came anyway thinking I would come outside since she took the time to drive back, I mean we're friends right? I guess I answered that question.. Lastly, I've changed alot over the past few months. I'm not really looking for a quick lay anymore. I'm looking for something more, you probably know what I mean, a genuine connection. I'm trying to control my impulses, not be so sexual all the time, I recognized that women tend to be an addictive weakness for me. Also, I was infected with an STD by my last partner just about a year ago and it really hit me recently that it definitely wouldn't be a good idea to screw around with people that I'm not serious about. Not that I was doing this, I planned on being careful and using protection and disclosing my condition, but I realize how fragile that situation can be if the person you're with isn't serious. Overall I just want to be a better person, but obviously things got messed up somewhere along the way. For the sake of normalizing relations with a friend and not feeling like I have to avoid somebody I'll be working in the same room with everyday, how should I approach fixing this? Keep in mind, we haven't said anything to eachother in almost 3 days. I don't know how bad I hurt her, or how she viewed what I did to her (as a rejection of sex and thus her, not validating her, blatantly ignoring her, maybe she genuinely felt a romantic connection to me, its hard to tell with her, I truly don't know what her motivations were), but I know that she's a tough girl and I'm not going to grovel for forgiveness. I want to handle this with dignity and I don't think ignoring somebody is a solution as much as its a cop out. I'm like 4 years older than her, I can't be acting like her. Sorry for the length of this post but this is a weird situation, its like a role reversal, I used to like her and now she likes me and it ended in a wreck. I don't want to sleep with her, she's not my ex, I just want to defuse this. Part of why I'm posting this here is because, who knows, maybe I'll end up liking her again somewhere down the road if her motivations were sincere and not just being horny as shit, I honestly don't know.

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