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Jealousy Shit Tests
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Author:  SirJoseppi [ Sun Jun 17, 2012 8:27 am ]
Post subject:  Jealousy Shit Tests
My GF loves to play these, and early on I responded to them in a somewhat jealous beta manner. With the help of this site and a few other people, I've grown less jealous and more secure and in turn reacted in the proper alpha manner whenever they have come up recently (at least I think it was the proper manner).

Last night at dinner her and I were casually talking about past relationships and she mentioned how with the exception of her ex husband, her exes had always contacted her at some point after they had broken up. I chimed in, stating that an ex of mine recently texted me saying how she missed me. I didn't reply back to her, which is what I told my GF when she asked me how I responded.

Anyway, I could kinda pick up that this made her a little jealous...maybe not jealous, but aware. It got her attention. So today when she was at work, she texted me that this old black man gave her flowers at work "because she is beautiful". The fact that this was premeditated on the guys part seemed a bit creepy and I told her that. But I then told her that he had good taste. She said that this wasn't the first time that stuff like this had happened (not from the same guy, just in general).

She replied with "next time should I get his number?" To which I replied with "you mean you didn't already? If not, sure ;)"

To which she replied "I already blew him in the bathroom", followed by me responding with "oh, well that's ok then"

Obviously we were joking about it. And in this case, being that it was an old man there would be no reason to be jealous. But she has brought stuff like this up in the past, telling me how random guys or guys at work have hit on her, no doubt to try and get a rise out of me and to try and make me jealous.

I don't really like hearing them, but by the same token I don't wanna let on that they have any impact on my frame at all. And they bother me much less than they did in the past, and I am getting more secure as time goes on and our relationship continues to grow. In the above instance, I think I handled it pretty well. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I guess my question is why does she keep playing these? If I give off the proper response, conveying that they have no impact on my frame no matter what, should would stop over time I assume correct? Could the reason be that she is really insecure and feels the need to try and validate herself by telling me these things?

I guess I just don't see why girls (or guys) for that matter do stupid jealousy tests like this, at least not for any extended period of time. Seem silly.

Thoughts?
Author:  NikAFC [ Sun Jun 17, 2012 8:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Jealousy Shit Tests
Quote:
She replied with "next time should I get his number?" To which I replied with "you mean you didn't already? If not, sure "
I think you should ignore it at that point
Author:  PUAzilla [ Sun Jun 17, 2012 9:19 am ]
Post subject: 
Your game seems as solid as a rock!!

Good job man. I'm going to try and learn from your approach.

The reason that she's STILL shit testing you is that she's still trying to find a weakness.
You haven't failed them.

Just keep doing your thing, don't fall for them.

Good job bro.
Author:  league [ Sun Jun 17, 2012 11:07 am ]
Post subject: 
Hakuna did a cracking thread called 'using secks to read your girlfriend' if you can be arsed to look I suggest reading it
Author:  SirJoseppi [ Sun Jun 17, 2012 3:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jealousy Shit Tests
Quote:
Quote:
She replied with "next time should I get his number?" To which I replied with "you mean you didn't already? If not, sure "
I think you should ignore it at that point
I considered it. I guess at the moment i felt it best to just go along with it to really emphasize the point that it doesnt bug me and she isnt gonna make me jealous. We had been responding back and forth up to that point so I figured Id just roll with it, along with the comment about blowing him lol.
Author:  SirJoseppi [ Sun Jun 17, 2012 3:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Your game seems as solid as a rock!!

Good job man. I'm going to try and learn from your approach.

The reason that she's STILL shit testing you is that she's still trying to find a weakness.
You haven't failed them.

Just keep doing your thing, don't fall for them.

Good job bro.
Thanks man! Believe me it hasnt always been like this. Early on I failed some so my guess is that ahe is still doing it to try and get me to respond the way I would have in the past. Not gonna happen though.

Plus these stupid shit tests are easier to pass in text since she cant read your face, body language, etc. They still get old however and hopefully the more I pass the less inclined she will be to keep trying it.
Author:  tave [ Sun Jun 17, 2012 5:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Idk if this would work, but just offering a suggestion. Maybe you guys can give feedback.

It seems like you keep trying to show to her that it doesn't bother you when really it does. I feel like you don't necessarily get jealous, but it pisses you off that she tries to make you jealous.
In relationships communication is crucial. I would call her out on this and stop pretending it doesn't bother you. Ask her why the fuck does she need to add that comment at the end 'i should've grabbed his number'. She's with you and her trying to get you jealous is inappropriate. Tell her to stop this behavior and she'll stop.
Author:  SirJoseppi [ Sun Jun 17, 2012 5:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Idk if this would work, but just offering a suggestion. Maybe you guys can give feedback.

It seems like you keep trying to show to her that it doesn't bother you when really it does. I feel like you don't necessarily get jealous, but it pisses you off that she tries to make you jealous.
In relationships communication is crucial. I would call her out on this and stop pretending it doesn't bother you. Ask her why the fuck does she need to add that comment at the end 'i should've grabbed his number'. She's with you and her trying to get you jealous is inappropriate. Tell her to stop this behavior and she'll stop.
Thought of doing that too. But I dunno, part of me thinks that if I do that, that she'll know that she's getting a negative response out of me, even if it isnt necessarily jealousy.

There was one time in the past that she said something that was definitely over the line and I told her such. It was after sex, and we had tried a new position. Afterwards I had mentioned how it made her vag feel even tighter than usual. To this she replied with "Im surprised Im that tight with all the big black dick Ive had in me" I gave her this look of shock right when she said it and she immediately said she was just kidding and started laughing.
I told her on the spot that saying something like that was over the line and she hasnt mentioned anything like that since (btw, she has dated a couple black guys in the past and Im cool with this. It was the slutty way she said it that I thought was def not cool).

Anyway, bottom line, these stupid tests have gotten fewer and fewer so hopefully theyll eventually stop all together the more I pass.
Author:  NikAFC [ Sun Jun 17, 2012 11:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Jealousy Shit Tests
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
She replied with "next time should I get his number?" To which I replied with "you mean you didn't already? If not, sure "
I think you should ignore it at that point
I considered it. I guess at the moment i felt it best to just go along with it to really emphasize the point that it doesnt bug me and she isnt gonna make me jealous. We had been responding back and forth up to that point so I figured Id just roll with it, along with the comment about blowing him lol.
It's great that we have a forum and that u've decided to post here your issue man!! Now I can see the problem from different angle. Being humble shows abudance but I'm NOT too sure whether you wanna do this if you're in a committed relationship though!!

Don't get me wrong I do love your comebacks too and I see you could keep it going but just stopped cause not too sure about it and that was the best thing to do for now!

Just either try and get feedback from one of the more experienced guys on here. I do recommend a few guys on here: Pumpington, skills360, sexaddict911, detox75 or any other that you think may give you the best solution to the problem. These are all guys that have been in relationships like you and I know for a fact can help you with this so that many other guys in here.

Good luck man :)
Author:  dark one [ Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
My gf once a while back told me:

"my ex texted me and said I left an expensive necklace at his house and I could come get it" "What should I do"

I said:

"What do you think?, you do what ever you feel you need to do"

She then kind of looked confused, didn't really know what to say, was quiet for a min, then said

"No I don't want to put my self in that situation"

I then smiled and said "good choice"

Most often the your gf will know what is wrong and right but she will test to see how you will react and IMO if you don't know what to say you should let her dig her own grave by saying something that could be seen as going both ways....what I said could have been seen as "no dont go" or " yes go I dont care", She knew she should not have gone over there so she didn't.
Author:  Dr. Jones [ Mon Jun 18, 2012 11:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think you've held your frame for too long to cave in and tell her to stop it.

Just curious: do you ever turn the tables on her and crack similar comments?
Author:  SirJoseppi [ Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:34 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I think you've held your frame for too long to cave in and tell her to stop it.

Just curious: do you ever turn the tables on her and crack similar comments?
I just started doing so. She just left on a week long road trip with her sisters today, and yesterday when I was with her she asked if what I was gonna do with myself while she's gone.

I told her I was gonna get with probably two chicks a day, just to keep things interesting. Then playfully told her to do me a favor and not miss me too much :) We're developing good banter with stuff like this.

I told her about an ex of mine that recently texted that she missed me, and she asked what her name was and I told her so since then she's always like "You gonna go hang out with that slut Megan?" I just laugh when she does it. I've thought of going along with it, but since she uses her actual name I leave it alone and just laugh.

The only time where I stopped and told her that it was over the line was with the BBD comment that I mentioned in an earlier post on this same thread. I dunno...joking casually is one thing but to go into specifics and stuff is a bit much.

But I like the earlier comment about just stating "what do you think?" or "do whatever you feel like you need to do" to kinda turn the tables and allow them to dig their own hole.
Author:  NikAFC [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 3:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
I think you've held your frame for too long to cave in and tell her to stop it.

Just curious: do you ever turn the tables on her and crack similar comments?
I just started doing so. She just left on a week long road trip with her sisters today, and yesterday when I was with her she asked if what I was gonna do with myself while she's gone.

I told her I was gonna get with probably two chicks a day, just to keep things interesting. Then playfully told her to do me a favor and not miss me too much :) We're developing good banter with stuff like this.

I told her about an ex of mine that recently texted that she missed me, and she asked what her name was and I told her so since then she's always like "You gonna go hang out with that slut Megan?" I just laugh when she does it. I've thought of going along with it, but since she uses her actual name I leave it alone and just laugh.

The only time where I stopped and told her that it was over the line was with the BBD comment that I mentioned in an earlier post on this same thread. I dunno...joking casually is one thing but to go into specifics and stuff is a bit much.

But I like the earlier comment about just stating "what do you think?" or "do whatever you feel like you need to do" to kinda turn the tables and allow them to dig their own hole.
You're doing great job man. Keep up the good work. I always do this mosty when interacting with girl face to face but. I once had a girl that asked me what I was doing last night and i replied with this:
"I was in bed...thinking of you...while with another girl.."
I cannot even describe the amount of attraction this text generated.
I also have a video for you and everyone else that is very good and recently watched. This guy know what he's doing and he does the same shit all the time

[youtube]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFuMi36m ... re=g-all-c[/youtube]
Author:  MNF [ Wed Jun 20, 2012 10:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
I have the same problem with my girlfriend occasionally. Sometimes it's a shit test, sometimes she's just thoughtlessly telling me about an ex of hers or whatever.

What you have to do is pretty simple, and you seem to be doing it well.

Decide whether what she's saying/telling you is harmless. If it is; it doesn't bother you one bit (as far as she's concerned). If it's over the line; call her out on it. Perhaps freeze her out, depending on how out of line she's been.

Whilst doing the same back to her might seem like a good idea, be wary of it. You don't want to reach a level where you're so desperate to one up each other where one of you actually cheats.

If I were you I'd go with the don't react/freeze out rule, but it's your call buddy, you know how she works better than us!
Author:  SirJoseppi [ Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I have the same problem with my girlfriend occasionally. Sometimes it's a shit test, sometimes she's just thoughtlessly telling me about an ex of hers or whatever.

What you have to do is pretty simple, and you seem to be doing it well.

Decide whether what she's saying/telling you is harmless. If it is; it doesn't bother you one bit (as far as she's concerned). If it's over the line; call her out on it. Perhaps freeze her out, depending on how out of line she's been.

Whilst doing the same back to her might seem like a good idea, be wary of it. You don't want to reach a level where you're so desperate to one up each other where one of you actually cheats.

If I were you I'd go with the don't react/freeze out rule, but it's your call buddy, you know how she works better than us!
Read my mind, yeah.

There's been very few times where something has been over the line and I've called her out on those times. I am starting to do the same thing back to her, but there too I'm careful not to go into too much detail or make it sound like I'm super serious.

But yeah, with my girlfriend sometimes it's a shit test, other times she's just thoughlessly telling me about an ex. I feel like I really strengthened my frame by telling her recently about my ex that texted me out of the blue.

Thanks for all the input guys.
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