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Girlfriend doesn't like sex?
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Author:  Johndigwood120 [ Sun Jun 10, 2012 2:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Girlfriend doesn't like sex?
Hey guys, let me sum this up for you real quik

- Me and my GF have been together for 7 months
- She was a virgin before she met me
- She is very insecure
- Because i couldn't see her very often because of her busy school schedule we have only had ''good'' sex like 4 times (With good sex i mean where we didn't get interupted or something went wrong (ie no erection))

Now her school is finished and i see her a lot more often i also want more sex, obviously, but she doesn't want this.

I talked to her about it and she said she doesn't have a high libido (while i do) and that she can't do anything about it, she also told me that sex feels good for her and that she likes it but i notice different.

Everytime we have sex i have to initiate it.. And everytime its troublesome unless she's really horney, like i said she is insecure so when i try to take off her clothes she is like ''nooo :('' and stuff like that.

I have tried a lot of things like dirty talking on text and it worked a bit but not really that much.

She also told me something like ''I don't care about sex just let me be with you and im happy!'' So what i pick up from this is that she doesn't like sex.

I made her cum several times with my mouth but didn't manage to get her to cum trough penetration yet, i have watched a lot of video's and stuff on how to do this but as i said she was a virgin before i met her so maybe it needs more time..

So guys what is it? Am i terrible at sex? Is she just THAT insecure that she doesn't want it? Im at a loss here
Author:  Boyo [ Sun Jun 10, 2012 3:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Speaking from a personal experience - i was in the exact same situation as you mate.

-You need to ask yourself how much you like this girl. Is everything perfect apart from the sex?

-is there any underlying problems/past experiences that are affecting her?

- can you live with having a girl with a lower libido than you? or will you get annoyed/angry and frustrated every time.

-Is how much you like/love her worth the rotation of arguments you guys have about sex?

''I don't care about sex just let me be with you and im happy!'' - fine, shes happy not having sex. But are you?

Your probably not the best at sex - neither of you are - you only get better with practice and experimentation! But if you cant do that in the first place, things cant improve

-talk it out with her - express with your feelings fully and clearly. If you cant work something out then move on, its better in the long run for the both of you.

Best of luck to you whatever you decie

Regards,

Boyo
Author:  Johndigwood120 [ Sun Jun 10, 2012 6:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Speaking from a personal experience - i was in the exact same situation as you mate.

-You need to ask yourself how much you like this girl. Is everything perfect apart from the sex?

I like her very much, the relationship is fun but i screwed up in the past and we're still recovering from that, before that happened it was perfect.

-is there any underlying problems/past experiences that are affecting her?

Not that i know of, but she is very insecure about her body and thinks she is fat and she doesn't even go to the beach in a bikini ... I tell her she's pretty and that she has a hot body but it doesn't help

- can you live with having a girl with a lower libido than you? or will you get annoyed/angry and frustrated every time.

Probally annoyed and frustrated ye... But more because i think ''If i was really good at sex she would want it more'' so maybe im more frustrated at myself

-Is how much you like/love her worth the rotation of arguments you guys have about sex?

''I don't care about sex just let me be with you and im happy!'' - fine, shes happy not having sex. But are you?

no

Your probably not the best at sex - neither of you are - you only get better with practice and experimentation! But if you cant do that in the first place, things cant improve

-talk it out with her - express with your feelings fully and clearly. If you cant work something out then move on, its better in the long run for the both of you.

Best of luck to you whatever you decie

Regards,

Boyo
Thanks for the response!

One more question tho: Do you think that if i can manage to get her to orgasm more and give her multiple orgasms that she would get a higher libido ?
Author:  Dr. Jones [ Sun Jun 10, 2012 11:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Could it be possible she's asexual? If that's the case, it doesn't really matter how great you are in the sack, she just doesn't get horny like other women do.
Author:  Crypto [ Mon Jun 11, 2012 1:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
She was a virgin and you were the first guy to have sex with her? Age?
Author:  Johndigwood120 [ Mon Jun 11, 2012 7:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
She was a virgin and you were the first guy to have sex with her? Age?
Yes, she was 17 when i took her virginity, now she's 18. I am 19 years old
Author:  aazhan [ Wed Jul 25, 2012 10:37 am ]
Post subject: 
Seduce your girlfriend using the pheromone sprays or scent and then you will see your girlfriend is totally addicted to sex.
Author:  Boyo [ Wed Jul 25, 2012 11:08 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Speaking from a personal experience - i was in the exact same situation as you mate.

-You need to ask yourself how much you like this girl. Is everything perfect apart from the sex?

I like her very much, the relationship is fun but i screwed up in the past and we're still recovering from that, before that happened it was perfect.

-is there any underlying problems/past experiences that are affecting her?

Not that i know of, but she is very insecure about her body and thinks she is fat and she doesn't even go to the beach in a bikini ... I tell her she's pretty and that she has a hot body but it doesn't help

- can you live with having a girl with a lower libido than you? or will you get annoyed/angry and frustrated every time.

Probally annoyed and frustrated ye... But more because i think ''If i was really good at sex she would want it more'' so maybe im more frustrated at myself

-Is how much you like/love her worth the rotation of arguments you guys have about sex?

''I don't care about sex just let me be with you and im happy!'' - fine, shes happy not having sex. But are you?

no

Your probably not the best at sex - neither of you are - you only get better with practice and experimentation! But if you cant do that in the first place, things cant improve

-talk it out with her - express with your feelings fully and clearly. If you cant work something out then move on, its better in the long run for the both of you.

Best of luck to you whatever you decie

Regards,

Boyo
Thanks for the response!

One more question tho: Do you think that if i can manage to get her to orgasm more and give her multiple orgasms that she would get a higher libido ?
Possibly, some girls arent that into sex because they dont know what theyre missing, so its certainly worth trying. Many women have never had an orgasm.

However some have and just dont have that much of a sex drive. Or as i quote from my ex: "find it a chore sometimes" :? - thats when i bailed.

Im always up for a pm if you need to talk more mate,

Regards,

Boyo
Author:  pumpington [ Wed Jul 25, 2012 11:24 am ]
Post subject: 
would it be crazy to think that your girlfriend just has a low sex drive and it has nothing to do with you and this isn't some magical shit test she is just telling the truth?

you have already talked to her and established what the problem is, you have already tried plenty of angles to fix the problem, but the problem still exists, chances are this problem will stay constant for you

either dump her and find a girl that suites you, or stop worrying about it, because it is as it is, you can try to increase foreplay and initiate more often, but some girls just don't have a high sex drive, others will drain you and want sex more often then you will be able to handle, both can cause problems and this is why you screen multiple girls to make sure they live up to your standards before you settle on a partner, and this is why you manage your expectations and get out if they are not met or boundaries are crossed, you just have to find a partner that suites you

it's hard to change someone, easier to find someone new then fix something that is broken, not saying that it is absolutely impossible to change her, it's just easier to move on, either you like your girlfriend, or you don't, there is no magical way to change her, if you don't like it, drop her and find someone new

and if you absolutely love your girlfriend to death, then maybe you might want to consider making it more clear that this is an issue for you and take her to see a doctor or someone more qualified then yourself to deal with this sort of issue

not being into sex, and having a low labido are two different things, she enjoys sex, but just doesn't feel motivated to have sex, alot of girls can come into this problem while taking certain medications or certain types of birth control, it can also happen when a person is depressed (I am sure there are alot of other reasons for this, but I'm not a doctor, so go ask one)

GOOD LUCK
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