PUA Forum
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

my sad BETA story with the ex, need your help badly
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=136937		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  HandBreaker [ Mon May 28, 2012 12:36 am ]
Post subject:  my sad BETA story with the ex, need your help badly
well..been with a girl for 7 months or so..was her first
relationship got to a point where i got beta and started to fall for her.
fell for her tests backed down from fights and gave in her demands when going out with her friends instead of mine etc.
and the worst part.. i started sending them motherfucking smiley texts with good mornings and love and shit.
killed her attraction for me.
she began cold and i was even more attracted, she said she wanted to talk, i got drunk at a party and got mad because she didnt tell me why.
we talked, everything seemed cool and 1 week later i noticed that she is still cold.
drove to her place and asked her if we should end it on her full agreement (while crying cuz she felt sorry for me) .

well at first i felt free..decided to end this on good terms and still be friends
(silly me it was my first relationship and i even thought she will come crawling back)
she tried to get back to me a couple of times after she got drunk
at first she managed to kiss me...second time i wasn't buying into it because i knew she wasn't herself. but she gave me her signs of her wanting to come back
i took the bait..and she wasn't interested anymore.
she was better off alone.

this is where my life got fucked up!
i went to a club with my friends and she came along with her friend too (a social circle)
the first time we went to the club i met some girl and danced with her..nothing came out of it and i just texted my ex some bullshit later that night to see if she is still better off alone !

the second time we went to the club..
she kissed another guy

my heart was SHATTERED

few days later i called and told her that we cant be friend and it cant work out and that im deleting her from my FB and ill try not to come across her again
doing it for myself in order to overcome the breakup.
she didnt agree...but she respected my decision.

there are alot of stuff missing in the story about my betaness..i am the perfect NICE GUY and i was punished.
i really loved this girl , sex was great too (bj's where given even though she was grossed from the idea at first.)

now all i have is memories and flashbacks and my heart ache everytime i see a photo of her, its been 3 months since the break up and im still thinking about my
mistakes and how to get her back. itried to move on, i even support other friends of mine that got dumped shaking them and telling them to move on(ironically).
i started sarging at clubs , i improved my fitness my looks and my confidence
but its still hard for me to sarge for girls and im still in pain...

her birthday is coming up.. thought i would approach her as a whole new person
and reestablish contact with her. you guys talk alot about how ex gf's approach you out of the blue after sometime..but it seems that the call i made would prevent her from doing so.
am i right?
we haven't spoken in something like 2 monthes, should i keep waiting for her to contact me, or should i open the door for her and make things more comfortable ?
(with the bday text im going to write)
Author:  pablohernandez [ Mon May 28, 2012 1:03 am ]
Post subject: 
Not in a dissimilar situation to you.

Well when I found out she was dating someone else I didnt freak out. Luckily. I work with her and she has been talking about it to our mutal friends and at work. I paid her no attention and acted like there was nothing between us let lone mentioning that I cared about her seeing someone else. She went from being cold and ignoring me to trying to get my attention and talking to me, that was in the time of her spreading the word about her new boyfriend.

What ever you do dont let her see your bothered about her seeing other men.

As for initiating contact. Id say send her a nice text like you would to a friend, wishing her the best in life. Get on with your life, do new things, meet new people. Chances are she will find out your having the time of your life.
Author:  HandBreaker [ Mon May 28, 2012 11:47 am ]
Post subject: 
its driving me nuts..initiating contact with her is all i think about and still
i need to be strong...i just recently learned that girls crave to be the one the got away and i just played my role in this game =\
i guess there is no way of gaming her back? i just have to move on and wait?
im not sure if i miss her or i miss being in a relationship...
Author:  pablohernandez [ Mon May 28, 2012 2:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Moving on is the best thing to do for many reasons. Firstly chances are you wont get back into a relationship with her. Secondly being a needy guy who's follwing her about is not attractive. A man who can move on right after a break up and get on with his amazing life is attractive. Move on, meet new people (not just women), do new things, improve yourself constantly. If and when she does see you she will be shocked at how easily you moved on to better things.

Send her a friendly happy birthday text, the same text you would send to a mate. Maybe she will contact you back, maybe not but it doesnt matter too much because you will have moved on.
Author:  NCS [ Mon May 28, 2012 3:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Cut it, cold. Don't text. Go dark. Be courteous if you cross paths with her, but just the minimum, Hi/hello/thanks/etc and no validation towards her. No 'you look nice', no 'good to see you', no 'how are you?'. None of that shit. Seriously, cut it cold. I'm not dogging you at all, I'm taking time to try to offer some help below, but you are being a total vag right now, inside you know it, your post reeks of it, and you can fix it.

You need to get the emotions and the validation seeking from others that you are tripping over out of your head - this may sound goofy to you and before you dismiss it consider it (because remember how well what you are doing now is working for you) but it really helps to write a journal.

Why? Get the shit out of your head, rant, rage, get all emo on paper, and then as you do this day after day - yes, do it each day - you start to build some momentum, you can see where you've been, you can self-validate that you are indeed getting better, you can look back at how you feel today vs how you felt yesterday, a week ago, a month ago. It works.

This place is all about getting to a better self, so take 5 minutes each day, set the alarm for 5 minutes earlier, set the notebook and pen by your bed. Alarm goes off, get up, take a squirt, get back into bed and write for 5 minutes. Invest 5 minutes in yourself, you are worth it right?

check out the "breaks and breaking up" forum over at loveshack dot org for support on this there too

Hope this helps somehow, keep us posted.
Author:  lovezen [ Mon May 28, 2012 5:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Move on bro, it hurts but you have to. If it isn't working out now, then it isnot going to work out later either. Start to find another girl, who would be much better than her, at meantime, you should enjoy being free and hang out with your friends, do the things you used to like doing.

lovezen
Author:  HandBreaker [ Mon May 28, 2012 6:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
thank you guys for the tips, my emotions and romance will probably push her even further away from me so what's the point of talking to her :cry:
everytime i made progress, bitchslaped myself whenever i got flashbacks etc
one picture of her or some piece of information is all it took for me to go back to the start.
i guess writing myself some progress reminders and focusing on my lifestyle and game will eventually work.
ill just text her something short which indicate that i have moved on and i have no hard feelings for her what so ever.
Author:  NCS [ Mon May 28, 2012 7:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
ill just text her something short which indicate that i have moved on and i have no hard feelings for her what so ever.
no, don't do that. no reason to, just you playing drama and being weak about it. be stronger, don't send it. you'll regret it down the road when you look back on it. you've got 60 days of no contact, keep it going. just take in 1 day chunks, one day at a time. if you can't do one day then 4 hours, just make it to 4 hours without contacting her.

even if she does come back, which she would have by now if she wanted to, you will chode out again, your head isn't right (neither is mine, so I'm not trying to be superior in any way) and you'd fuck it up again and have to begin the no contact cycle again from day 1. hard as hell to do, feel bad for you, but big breath and focus on you you you. as much as you want, crave, desire, need, feel overwhelmed by the need for some contact with her, you know in your heart that its not the right thing to do. usually the hardest thing to do is the right thing. I too need to take some of my own advice here so its good for me to be typing this out so that I too can focus on getting everything I need from within, can't fill that hole from the outside. hang in there and just keep swimming
Author:  sovetcke [ Mon May 28, 2012 9:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Funny that i never managed to remember the birthday date of any girl i had, you're in deep oneitis man.
Author:  HandBreaker [ Mon May 28, 2012 9:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok then..ill send a simple text by the way funny thing is that when we dated ididnt remember it when she tested me lol
Author:  sovetcke [ Mon May 28, 2012 9:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Why do you want to send her anything ? you broke up because she treated you cold, do you respect yourself ?
Author:  NCS [ Tue May 29, 2012 12:17 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Ok then..ill send a simple text by the way funny thing is that when we dated ididnt remember it when she tested me lol
Lol, you are bound and determined to send her a text, sounds like you better do that then. Are you prepared for the outcome of that decision? To get ignored? To be told that she's going out in a sexy fuck me skirt with her new guy? Or maybe she'll come back, but you will fuck that up since you still don't have your shit together and then you can deal with that scenario. She's moved on, now it's your turn. Not sure why you posted, if you were looking for some one to agree with you then here is your post. Hope it goes well for you. In the meanwhile get some work in on you, you're on this site, maybe take a few hours and read read read and fill that hole from the inside like you need to learn to do. Once you do that then you'll end up with an even better girl do you've got that to look forward to as a reward for your hard work and ongoing pain.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/