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LTR trouble, what to do ?
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Author:  narcisse [ Sun May 13, 2012 3:04 pm ]
Post subject:  LTR trouble, what to do ?
Hey guys,

First excuse me if make mistakes, but i'm french. I tried posting in the relationships section but it doesn't work.

Here's my girlfriend :

- Been together for 3 months
- I'm her 1st BF (she had a lot of sex before, Fuckfriends, etc, but never a boyfriend)
- See each other once a week, sometimes 1 time in 2 weeks
- She lives 2 hours far from me and she's always the one coming
- All the boys are at her feet
- Sex is not too good because of erection trouble due to stress, but lately it was better
- She doesn't seem to be in love but does to me everything I want in bed
- I can't receive her text, but she receives mine
- She's not far from a OI to me
- Everytime we see each other it's great

The problem is that :

- she never calls me (except when I tell her so, and even when I tell her to she doesn't always call)
- she could text me with another phone, but she does it only to tell me to call back, or to confirm a date

AND

Last Saturday we saw each other, it was great. Thursday I sent her a if she misses me (cocky funny way) NO ANSWER

Friday I call her. NO ANSWER

Saturday (2hours before we were supposed to meet) she sends me a text saying she can't come today because she must see her brother (whom she sees once or twice a month), she hopes I'll understand, but doesn't apologize for her behavior during the week.

I send her this :
"Ok maybe we'll see each other in 2 or 3 weeks after my exams"
NO ANSWER

I'm hesitating between :

1) Telling her I don't likeher behavior and maybe I should leave her
2) Ignoring it, keep on being the one calling her and plane the next date
3) Freeze out, but I don't think it really work with her, since I've been doing it already
4) ?


AND she has my expensive bracelet with her ...


Thank you :D
Author:  RetiredRodeo [ Sun May 13, 2012 3:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
All three of the options suck.

She's NOT your girlfriend dude. She's just a chick you see from time to time. She doesn't respect you.

Sadly, you're looking needy/desperate.

I'd HIGHLY suggest ignoring ANY desire to contact her until she contacts you - then invite her over and fuck her again.

In the mean time, run game and fuck as many as you can close to you.

RR
Author:  Eyyt [ Sun May 13, 2012 3:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree with the above. but i personally believe that it is just a test to see whether you are used to having a girlfriend or if you can handle her behavior, though i'm a little skeptic about it. You could always get your braclet back though. I know it is rude but you can always give it back to her when you feel like to. Hehe
Author:  RetiredRodeo [ Sun May 13, 2012 3:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I agree with the above. but i personally believe that it is just a test to see whether you are used to having a girlfriend or if you can handle her behavior, though i'm a little skeptic about it. You could always get your braclet back though. I know it is rude but you can always give it back to her when you feel like to. Hehe
NEVER ask for jewelry back.

It was a gift. See the definition of GIFT - it's not "This is for now, but if I get pissed, I'm asking for this shit back"...

Plus, if you DO ask for it back, and she gives it back - if you re-gift it, she;ll never think of it the same. It'll be a 'temporary' thing you let her borrow only if shit goes well.

If you don't want to lose it, don't give it.

*unless you're using a prop and running game like the plastic ring schtick...

NEVER ASK FOR JEWELRY BACK - EVER.

RR
Author:  narcisse [ Sun May 13, 2012 3:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
No no it's not a gift !

Saturday when we were together, I took her necklace and kept it on my neck and she took my bracelet.

At the moment we were saying goodbye, she took her necklace back and forgot to give me my bracelet back.

Anyway I have to get it back
Author:  Jav [ Sun May 13, 2012 3:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'd calmly ask for her explaination.

1. State what has happened (facts, no emotions)
2. Tell her how it made you feel (honest)
3. Explain your needs (clearly)
4. Ask for what you want (decently)


Ignoring her is weak. It's her manipulating you. (actually all of your 3 options)

You'd want an explanation from a friend who's constantly late aswell, but if she has a pussy it's okay? wtf

In pick-up we're often doing things WAY different.

Confrontation is manly, and funnily enough, attractive.

Girls actually expect you to ignore them, it's a sign of weakness.
You're making yourself an easy target for flaking-behaviour (and that's what you're dealing with). No way to raise a woman.

Calmly asking for an explanation is much harder for women.

Let her sweat.

She'll either try to humiliate you by throwing sentences around like: 'well, if I don't like hanging with you, I won't have to' or 'whatever, you're a jerk'

Keep your frame, stick to your proposition, i want you to take this seriously, that way i feel .... ? etc


If she does respond in such an emotional negative way it means she thinks you're trying to manipulate her. You've control over her emotions. Rather funny.

Or

She'll appreciate your calm, cool and tranquil frame, your male polarity. And suddenly you'll be very attractive.



TL;DR

The point is to get it off your chest and check her reaction.


Too many people try to communicate through silence, and I don't think it's a very effective way to learn something.
Author:  narcisse [ Sun May 13, 2012 4:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
You mean all of the 3 options is her manipulating me ?

Why would she want me to ignore her ? Doesn't she want me to chase her ?


She's an independent girl, isn't she going to freak out when I tell her I want her to call me, send me text, etc... ?

Anyway I appreciate your post, what I wanted to hear, but thought was needy...
Author:  Jav [ Sun May 13, 2012 4:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You mean all of the 3 options is her manipulating me ?

Why would she want me to ignore her ? Doesn't she want me to chase her ?


She's an independent girl, isn't she going to freak out when I tell her I want her to call me, send me text, etc... ?

Anyway I appreciate your post, what I wanted to hear, but thought was needy...
You wouldn't be here if it wasn't bugging you out.

girls aren't impressed by your ignoring tactics, they know what you're doing, chuckle at you and keep on doing what annoys you.

Again, you're not begging her to take things seriously, you're asking for it, coz you'd feel ..........


Nuance it yourself. Ofcourse you can't force her into anything (and that's not the point anyway). But speaking your mind in a calm fashion helps.

But one thing's for sure:
Telling her you'll leave her if doesn't do X is a pretty good way to get rid of her.




Rather important note: HAVE THIS CONVERSATION FACE TO FACE.
Author:  narcisse [ Mon May 14, 2012 2:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you Jav for your excellent advice

I think it's true that, at least with this type of girl, freeze outs aren't so useful. It's childish and communication is what we need.

I called her yesterday night. I explained her calmly that I didn't like her behavior, I felt like she didn't respect me, that it was as if we were not going out together at all.

She agreed that her behavior was bad.

I then told her :
"from now on, I want you to call me as much as I do and I'd like to see you at least 2 times a week. Never again cancel a date on the day we're supposed to see. Do you understand ?"

She said yes. Then I kept on saying I was serious, and I asked her if she was going to makes efforts (a bit needy I know)

We agreed that she calls me on Wednesday

She asked me what I had done Saturday (the day we were supposed to see). I didn't tell her I was sarging of course, which was true, but I told her I had spent the afternoon with a feminine friend of mine. She asked me right away who she was, if she knew her, etc... I could feel the jealousy :D
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