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What would you guys do in this situation....
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=134842		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  dlightmen [ Tue May 01, 2012 10:14 pm ]
Post subject:  What would you guys do in this situation....
Okay... Found out the problem. :)

Well, kinda more like.... :(


Camping last weekend my gf and I were watching a movie on my phone while going to bed. Ever since then she's been really, really stand-offish.

Just found out the problem.... I fell asleep and she read all my texts... They had some sexual stuff and pics of naked women that other women had sent to me. BUT it was all from before we met.

What should I do here guys??????


Not broke up yet. Not even discussed it. But that's my problem. Right now she's just really, really standoffish. Before she was really, really into me.

Is it possible to get back????


P.S. Did I mention I suck at relationships?????
Author:  Rory1337 [ Wed May 02, 2012 12:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What would you guys do in this situation....
Quote:
Okay... Found out the problem. :)

Well, kinda more like.... :(


Camping last weekend my gf and I were watching a movie on my phone while going to bed. Ever since then she's been really, really stand-offish.

Just found out the problem.... I fell asleep and she read all my texts... They had some sexual stuff and pics of naked women that other women had sent to me. BUT it was all from before we met.

What should I do here guys??????


Not broke up yet. Not even discussed it. But that's my problem. Right now she's just really, really standoffish. Before she was really, really into me.

Is it possible to get back????


P.S. Did I mention I suck at relationships?????
Dude if those texts and girls are definitely before you met then it shouldn't be a problem at all, just tell her that she should know that you've been with other girls in the past. Try show her some validation and comfort her, try to do it non-verbally or something to show that you're with only her now. Saying it verbally is pretty gay, if she doesn't know that these girls were in the past just tell her, she is probably just feeling insecure.
Author:  Lockdown [ Wed May 02, 2012 2:31 am ]
Post subject: 
The problem here is your girl disrespected your privacy by going through your texts behind your back.

Are you willing to accept this? If so, why?
Author:  870 [ Wed May 02, 2012 2:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The problem here is your girl disrespected your privacy by going through your texts behind your back.

Are you willing to accept this? If so, why?
This x 1,000.
Author:  dlightmen [ Wed May 02, 2012 3:21 am ]
Post subject: 
Well, my ex gf texted unexpectedly while I was sleeping. She then wondered why.

But yeah. I gave both you guys rep points. I just don't wanna blow this.

So should I hold my ground on that?????
Author:  Reo [ Wed May 02, 2012 3:28 am ]
Post subject: 
This is why you put a lock on your phone and never let your girlfriend handle it unless you're supervising her every move.
You are not the 1st guy to get busted this way I hope this was a lesson learned.

I had friend get busted by not clearing his aim history and having it to where it autologged on what an idiot.
Author:  Dr. Jones [ Wed May 02, 2012 4:19 am ]
Post subject: 
I have cut ties with women who scroll through my phone. Some things are sacred and that's one of them.

If you allow this kind of disrespect, you're just going to get more of it.
Author:  Lockdown [ Wed May 02, 2012 4:47 am ]
Post subject: 
You need to logically analyse if there is any way whatsoever mutual trust can be regained here. If she's done this once, do you think she won't do it again?

As hard as it may be, I think you need to cut her loose, at least for awhile. Or at the very least reframe the situation from "I'm in trouble for having naughty photos on my phone" to "You are in trouble for violating my privacy".

You have done NOTHING WRONG here. You weren't even cheating, from what you said, it was all before you were with her?

I can't think of anything that could justify you staying with her, as hard as that may be.
Author:  NightRaider [ Wed May 02, 2012 7:26 am ]
Post subject: 
How much do you like this girl? Is she better than the others youve met? Do you want to keep her in your life? If you do actually like her than you do something to fix the problem

Typical PUA response - girl begins showing disinterest, so you cut ties and say its her fault for being nosey all just in an attempt to save your ego. Why do you think she was going through your phone? The only reason is because she likes you and wants to know more about you!! If you actually have been faithful to her than you have nothing to worry about, all your messages have dates on them, just show her the phone and prove to her that it was before you two were together.

Come on guys, give the girl a little slack, people are naturally curious, if any of you EVER had a girl who actually cared about you, than you would know that if your going to fall asleep with your phone in her hand... She will inevitably go through it. No girl has the willpower to just put the phone down and go to sleep.
Author:  dlightmen [ Wed May 02, 2012 9:04 am ]
Post subject: 
She was going through my phone because one of my ex gf's texted while I was asleep. We were watching a movie on my phone, and I fell asleep. So while she was watching the movie, she got a pic of some chick showing me her new hairstyle.

Everything is cool. And thanks guys! Taking in all the advice here.

I'm just getting sick of playing the field. For once, I want to make a relationship actually work. I've been in three in the last year (not including this).

Yes, I kinda do like this girl. I actually took the advice of one of my lady friends and just talked to her about it. It actually kinda worked (go me. I guess). But on the flip-side, I'd not stand a chance at being with this woman if it had not been for PUA.

Again, thanks guys! :D
Author:  league [ Wed May 02, 2012 1:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
i once changed my name of my mate in my phone to a girls name and got him to text me something sexual just before i met my girl, when i fell asleep i left the phone in an obvious position just to see if she would go through it.

She cant of done or she would of flipped out over the message, which went a long way to keeping her place as girlfriend material.

If she had of gone through my phone and asked me about it i'd of rung my mate to prove it was a guy and a test then dumped her
Author:  dlightmen [ Wed May 02, 2012 5:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

She cant of done or she would of flipped out over the message, which went a long way to keeping her place as girlfriend material.
What?


If you're referring to me, she knows most of my friends are women.
Author:  Don Juan 89 [ Wed May 02, 2012 6:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
TALK TO HER ABOUT IT.


Just come straight out and say it. Tell her you forgot they were there and are going to delete them just for her. Apologize. If she doesn't care then she's a jerk.
Author:  league [ Wed May 02, 2012 6:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
i disagree, you have nothing to apologize for, they were from before you were together

it should be her saying sorry to you, but yeah they do need deleting
Author:  dlightmen [ Wed May 02, 2012 9:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
i disagree, you have nothing to apologize for, they were from before you were together

it should be her saying sorry to you, but yeah they do need deleting
IDK. It's a tough call, but all has been resolved. We're going out tonight. :)

I would've been mildly upset if I looked on her phone and saw conversations of men leaving underwear at her place, and a few men's titty shots. I must admit, if I got a text on her phone, when I had permission to use it, I'd of looked too. Just being honest here. Maybe that makes me a chump. IDK.

Anyway. All the advice in here was great.

I'll go through and give everyone rep points that made useful contributions. Right now, I've got some cleaning up around my condo, and deletions on my phone to do. :-/
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