What you are doing believe it or not is hurting your chances of ever succeding as human being(yes im overeacting), and also having a shot with her again or with anyone.
What you should do is try and put your life on the first priority. Maximize your potencial. How do you do that?
First if you have possibilities go see a psychology( this helps alot, I did and made me realize alot of shit when my life was at a STOP)
Quit drugs, it doenst help you one bit.
Go to the gym i cant stress this enough GO TO THE GYM you will feel tired in first 3 weeks but it will pay of.
Eat healthy.
Go out, dont stay at home.
While you are looking for a job(go voluntary work explore other options)
in regards of your ladie. Let me explain, in terms easy to understand.
You are at this point a small company without much to offer to market(miserable. drugs, low self esteem, you have two options expand your business and be sucesfull, or you maintain your path of self destruction and bankrupt-
While your ex is medium company( have objectives , has continue with her life), your small company dont have the resources to buy her company
So the trick here is maximize the real you... so you can grow and become a "Google" and you can easily buy the medium companys hope you understand this methapor
When I got back with my ex, I had more game, had more oportunities in life , more maturity, in general my life was way better, and she saw that and became interested again.
but you have to maximize the real you, change for the better improve your life, and perhaps ppl around you will notice and she will notice and wants to be a part of your life. If not continue on that path will land alot of new oportunities.
But I know how hard it is to move on with your life, its a work in progress every single day, but in the end the reward is worthy
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