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| Texting in a relationship https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=131421 |
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| Author: | Alvinums [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Texting in a relationship |
So i know its not too healthy to text basically every day but me and my girlfriend do and we've been together for a year now...i don't really like texting her all day n stuff but we always seem to. Im struggling to text back to her half the time these days as i dont really have much to say and she seems to kill the conversation all the time by saying 'Good x' But then if i dont text back she'll moan about me not texting back. So anyone got any advice on how to deal with this? Like any ways to keep a good conversation going and stuff? or ways to gradually stop texting so much? |
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| Author: | Costa-T [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I know what you mean because it happened to me before, just be honest with her. That's what i did anyways, she flipped and went all mad and crazy and thought i wasn't interested but i explained to her if we don't text much then i'll make me more excited to seeing her next time, but if we text and talk a lot then when we meet up we'll have nothing to say but repeat what we've talked about  Be honest with her, she'll go mad but you can handle it well with her. Good luck |
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| Author: | Wolfwoodd [ Tue Mar 20, 2012 12:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Texting in a relationship |
Quote: So i know its not too healthy to text basically every day but me and my girlfriend do and we've been together for a year now...i don't really like texting her all day n stuff but we always seem to.
You are asking the wrong questions.. you should be asking "how can I get my balls back and stop doing things I dislike just because I'm afraid my girlfriend will get mad at me?". See, when you do something because you fear another person's negative reaction, it's called "appeasement". Im struggling to text back to her half the time these days as i dont really have much to say and she seems to kill the conversation all the time by saying 'Good x' But then if i dont text back she'll moan about me not texting back. So anyone got any advice on how to deal with this? Like any ways to keep a good conversation going and stuff? or ways to gradually stop texting so much? It's like you're a girl who's husband beats you, and you're asking us what you should do to stop him from beating you so often. In all seriousness, only text her when you feel like texting her. Personally, I only text my girlfriend to 1) notify here that I have arrived someplace safely, 2) to handle logistics and 3) to respond to a direct question. Just my 2 cents. -Wolf |
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| Author: | Alvinums [ Tue Mar 20, 2012 12:08 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
easy tiger and stop emotionally beating me :'( Im not afraid but as we've been doing it for around a year, it will be a bit odd and unusual if i just stop texting and maybe text her once or twice a day.. |
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| Author: | Wolfwoodd [ Tue Mar 20, 2012 12:11 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: easy tiger and stop emotionally beating me :'(
Sorry, struck a cord with me for some reason. I probably have 5 or 6 different posts on here about how guys shouldn't text so much. It's just constant validation for the women and no pay-off for the men. Im not afraid but as we've been doing it for around a year, it will be a bit odd and unusual if i just stop texting and maybe text her once or twice a day.. I didn't mean to sound so harsh. Honestly, you should talk to your girlfriend. Tell her in advance that you aren't going to text as much and then stick to that. Just explain that you think it's a bad habit because you're addicted to your phone (or some other BS reason, girls make up BS excuses to do stuff all the time - turnabout is fair play). Tell her to call you if she ever really needs to get a hold of you. Then, like I said before.. only text in certain circumstances - direct questions, logistics, etc. (and be consistent). Your girlfriend may be a little miffed at first, but she'll definitely get over it and you'll be happier. -Wolf |
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| Author: | doclift [ Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
If you plan to stay with this girl, then honesty is the best policy regarding everything except the number of girls whom you've previously been with. Just tell her how you feel about it. If you're not a fan of texting, then let her know. It's crucial here to stand your ground. Don't whine or complain to her, simply communicate. If she starts to give you guff about it, reestablish your frame and stay strong. Relationships require mutual respect for one another. If she can't respect that you don't want to text as often throughout the day, then I suggest you look a little deeper into the dynamics of your relationship. The real issue at hand here is something I see most often with friends of mine. I'll share with you a piece of advice that I've probably given to 20 or so other guys: When you begin an interaction with a woman (or anyone for that matter), you set the precedence very early on in your interaction. She is texting you several times throughout the day because you have demonstrated to her that it is your normal behavior early in your relationship. Problems like this can be headed off before they begin by being confident and in control early on. Whatever behaviors you show a girl early on, is exactly what she'll expect from you in the future. Had you texted her less in the beginning, you would not be this situation now. This is usually why guys get "locked down" when in relationships. When guys find a girl they really like, they begin changing their behavior to better fit what they believe the girl wants. They start going out less with the boys, skip a few poker nights, and stop talking to other girls. Expectations are set and now a woman has a right to be upset when a guy breaks the standards that he has set. Before you know it, you've lost all of your non-couple friends, the largest credits on your bank statement belong to bed bath and beyond, and you lose every ounce of game that you've acquired. Tragically, when you lose the qualities that a woman first found attractive in you, she begins to lose attraction in you (and rightfully so). Deeper problems begin and then you're in a world of hurt. Your social circle is destroyed and your game has diminished. Drastic? Yes lol. I hate to beat a dead horse here but again, you set the precedence for what is okay in a relationship very early on in your interaction. Interestingly enough, my experience with girls over-texting has been indicative of one of two things. 1) She's emotionally needy and requires your constant attention. 2) She lacks a sufficient social circle and utilizes you as her only form of social interactions. There are of course exceptions to every scenario but this has been the norm for me. |
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