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Am I being weak & needy?
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Author:  PUAzilla [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 9:50 am ]
Post subject:  Am I being weak & needy?
Hey guys, this is a quick one. Here's the situation.

I was with my girlfriend quite a lot this weekened, something we both enjoy.
She's a good girl, and on saturday night she had a party for her birthday [which was 4 days ago] with about 20 friends, most of them girls and about 5/6 guys.

I amog'd it nicely. :) Not in an arsehole way, but I had a lot of interaction with the girls and I was clearly the top dog. ;)

We hardly spent any time together at the party, because she was running round talking to people, so I did the same, chatting to random groups of girls and a few guys that I hardly knew. But it went well and I enjoyed it.

I slept over that night, we were both so tired and went straight to sleep.

We woke up, and in the morning...
- I said to her 'Hey, come round for an hour or two this evening'.
- She said 'Maybe' but seemed to like the idea.

I left early the next morning because she had work.
- I don't speak to her the whole day untill she gets back from work.
- She texts: 'I'm too tired to see you' in a nice enough way.
- I was kinda half expecting that, but for some reason it pissed me off.
[I was really missing her that day so I was looking forward to seeing her.]
- I replied with 'Lol, You had no intention of seeing me in the first place did you?'
- She said she was sorry but didn't deny that she hadn't planned to see me!
- This pissed me off even more, so I asked her why she said 'maybe' and not
just 'no', it would have saved us a lot of time/hassle.
- She said she didn't know why, and apologised again.

And that's about it.

I now feel really needy and feel as if should have replied with:
'That's fine, I'll see you another night'.

Instead of getting pissed off about it and rising to it.

I'm usually pretty good at managing that sort of thing.
It helps me look less needy.

But I just want some tips, I really want to be on top of my relationship.
And I definately don't want to be clingy or needy. At all. Full stop!
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 1:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being weak & needy?
Quote:

I'm usually pretty good at managing that sort of thing.
It helps me look less needy.

But I just want some tips, I really want to be on top of my relationship.
And I definately don't want to be clingy or needy. At all. Full stop!
Reward for good behavior, punish for bad! A common shit test. Wait for her to call/text, do not answer/reply for a while. If she asks why it took so long, you were busy, that's all!
Author:  PUAzilla [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 1:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
But was it too needy of me to kick up a fuss when she cancelled me??

Am I being a sulking beta?
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 2:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
But was it too needy
The short answer: Yes!
But don't sweat it Bro, we've all done it!

You can turn it around. and you will.
Author:  pumpington [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 2:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
was what you did needy, yeah, sort of was,

go get yourself some hobbies to keep yourself busy besides your gf, you need something to occupy your time so you don't need her to keep you busy,

basically, if you had 10 other girls texting you to hang out at the same time as you were texting her, how would you act,

would you go, OMFG YOU DIDN'T ACTUALLY WANT TO MEET ME DID YOU?

all butthurt and shit, or would you be like

''k, cool, make sure you make it up to me next time ;), if you know what im getting at :P?''
(or anything that communicates you don't actually care if she comes or not, use your own personality)


it is the difference between needing her because you have nothing else, and wanting her, cause she is an option
Author:  PUAzilla [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 4:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you!

This was the eye-opener I needed.

I'm usually pretty RAFC. [I like to think]

How do I go from here.
Just carry on like nothing happened?

At the moment I've gone pretty cold on her. I think maybe I should act like it never happened and play it cool? To avoid being a sulking beta. ;)
Author:  MagicCaveman [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 4:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
I know it sounds bad, but you need to reverse roles, she should be wanting to see you, not the other way around. Read about shit testing, and start to not playing into her shit tests. Will build attraction and make her beg for your cock.
Author:  PUAzilla [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 5:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
I know, I know. I need to become less available.

Which is tricky... because we have scheduled days that we see eachother.

This wasn't a shit test, just something she did that pissed me off.

It was unintentional on her part.
Author:  MagicCaveman [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 5:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ye it wasn't shit test, but you caved into it and acted like a bitch. I know you know that as well, but I think saying a diff response not a not giving a shit, or a bitch approach would have been better. For future ref im going to try and think of a good one and post it later dude.
Author:  PUAzilla [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 5:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah your right man, I failed hard on this one!!

So what's my next move? Just carry on and be happy and stop freezing her out?

Act like everything's good?
Author:  Costa-T [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 5:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
The good thing is that you know where you went wrong and you know exactly how to deal with a similar situation next time and that's what really matters. There are a lot of way to how you could have dealt with that situation. I understand that you were angry because i would be the same, no lies, but the problem is that girls get put off when they think boys are being needy. And that's the reason behind a lot of ruined relationships. So i think you need to balance your relationship in a way so that you both miss each other and want to meet each other, instead of being a one way thing, Back off for a bit, don't see her as much and that will make her realise how much she misses you, and that's the most important thing :)

Good luck
Author:  PUAzilla [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks man, will do. :)

Since no-one gave me a response as to what I should do now I replied to her text [about an hour later] but I said 'Hey babe, how are you?'

The last thing she will be expecting is that I'm happy and chilled haha.
Author:  Dr. Jones [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Thanks man, will do. :)

Since no-one gave me a response as to what I should do now I replied to her text [about an hour later] but I said 'Hey babe, how are you?'

The last thing she will be expecting is that I'm happy and chilled haha.
You knew not to do that though, didn't you? Did it anyway.

If you invited your buddy to a baseball game and he said, "Maybe", and you went to the game and he told you later he was tired, you should say, "No worries". If your buddy is truly your buddy, he'll get the subtext and know he made a dick move. He'll call you when he's ready to make it up to you.

Same with the girlfriend, man! Good luck.
Author:  PUAzilla [ Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
You're right, I did.

I'm gunna make an effort not to next time.

Thanks so much guys this has helped a lot.
Author:  BJ10 [ Thu Mar 22, 2012 4:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Note: Steve Trevor was never needy, DESPITE needing to be saved by Wonder woman. Teh difference? Confidence.
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