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https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=129334		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Genium [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 3:02 pm ]
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Author:  P1nkstar [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 4:09 pm ]
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Hey,

Look... girls don't figure out that he wants to bang her. They believe that the guy really is just a friend. He is listed in her head as a friend. She will not or isn't cheating on you.

We know, he wants to fuck her but she believes he's really just intrested in her as a friend.

My girlfriend has friends like this. They txt her, "hey we should meet up, and go for drinks." I encourage her "Yea, he's a fun guy, you should go!" or "Invite him along, if you like him, i will too" ...in the end... she never meets up with them. (Glorify them, gives you higher value)

My sister, is a good looking girl. She has tons of "Male-friends", they come over, hang around hover around her, her boyfriend doesn't give a fuck. Cause they are NEVER coming close.

See it as this, best male friends, are just guys with no game who got friendzoned and, dunno why still want to meet up with the girl. While she believes he really just wants to be her friend.

;) No fucking worries, most girls have those guys around them.
Author:  el_rubia [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 4:16 pm ]
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"I know my girl is madly in love, and I trust her 100% "

no you don't or else you wouldn't care who she hangs out with etc.

Honestly you're being paranoid and juvenile. You have created alot of scenarios in which she COULD cheat, but like you say in real life anyone can cheat any time. You have to accept that and trust that they wont. Read over your post again man, your girl even called you to reassure you and tell you what was up and you still dont trust her? she cant be around you all the time, you need to accept that and understand that sometimes a bit of trust is all you have.

As to denying her access to seeing people 1 on 1, I personally wouldn't have done that. It should be enough for you to say "look, it makes me uncomfortable" and she should bare this in mind, you should never tell people not to see their friends. Now if she sees him she will either feel guilty or will start to think you are being ridiculous banning her from seeing people. Where does this end up? Are you just going to ban her from interacting with men? You have to trust that she knows your rules and respects you and them. And it sounds to me like she's a decent girl, one who will respect your values and does trust you.

If i was you now i would just relax, stop worrying about who she does and doesn't see and yeah, try to meet the guy/guys in question. You wanna be that cool boyfriend who her friends like and respect- not the weird, paranoid, controlling boyfriend who has dictated to his girl that she is no longer allowed to see her friends.
Author:  SmoothOp [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 4:36 pm ]
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"I know my girl is madly in love, and I trust her 100% "

no you don't or else you wouldn't care who she hangs out with etc.

Honestly you're being paranoid and juvenile. You have created alot of scenarios in which she COULD cheat, but like you say in real life anyone can cheat any time. You have to accept that and trust that they wont. Read over your post again man, your girl even called you to reassure you and tell you what was up and you still dont trust her? she cant be around you all the time, you need to accept that and understand that sometimes a bit of trust is all you have.

As to denying her access to seeing people 1 on 1, I personally wouldn't have done that. It should be enough for you to say "look, it makes me uncomfortable" and she should bare this in mind, you should never tell people not to see their friends. Now if she sees him she will either feel guilty or will start to think you are being ridiculous banning her from seeing people. Where does this end up? Are you just going to ban her from interacting with men? You have to trust that she knows your rules and respects you and them. And it sounds to me like she's a decent girl, one who will respect your values and does trust you.

If i was you now i would just relax, stop worrying about who she does and doesn't see and yeah, try to meet the guy/guys in question. You wanna be that cool boyfriend who her friends like and respect- not the weird, paranoid, controlling boyfriend who has dictated to his girl that she is no longer allowed to see her friends.
Good advice.

I notice you are insecure. You keep stating how much she loves you then say she might cheat. Has she given you a reason to doubt her or are you just being nuts here? I think you are reallllly into her (based on your photo and promise ring), maybe these feeling mixed with insecurity are causing the jealousy.

I realize when guys meet a new women they fall madly in love with them :roll: I am not trying to be a dick, but you are 19 and talking to a girl about marriage after 7 months? This sounds like a future AFC story in the "Introduce yourself" section.
Author:  Sly_Wolf [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 5:16 pm ]
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Not all guy friends want to fuck the girl they hang out with. I have a few female friends I like spending time with and be open, since I'm more closed and alpha with girls I date. Plus when I shop, I take one of them cause its boring shopping alone. Plenty of reasons to have female friends. You can meet their friends and make warm approaches, or use pre-selection when you're out and get some numbers.

With that said, it's usually easy to tell if a guy friend wants to fuck the girl or they're just friends. If they are the ones that usually initiate contact with the girl, they most likely want her. If it's once in a while then don't worry.

Most guys would rather go out on a date and maybe get laid on the same night rather then choosing to hang out with female friends just to talk. Many girls have AFC friends. Keep that in mind as well. Even if the AFCs like her, who cares? They are AFCs and they won't get jack shit. Let them try.

Ps. stop being so insecure.
Author:  Genium [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 5:40 pm ]
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Author:  Genium [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 5:51 pm ]
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If i was you now i would just relax, stop worrying about who she does and doesn't see and yeah, try to meet the guy/guys in question. You wanna be that cool boyfriend who her friends like and respect- not the weird, paranoid, controlling boyfriend who has dictated to his girl that she is no longer allowed to see her friends.
Your whole response was great advice as well man. I definitely need to give her freedom and take a chill pill. And i need to trust her more, I looked bavk and thought. and yeah, she tells me a lot of things that should be making it very easy to trust her. I needed an awakener on how great my woman really is.
Author:  Genium [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:07 pm ]
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Author:  Genium [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:08 pm ]
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Not all guy friends want to fuck the girl they hang out with. I have a few female friends I like spending time with and be open, since I'm more closed and alpha with girls I date. Plus when I shop, I take one of them cause its boring shopping alone. Plenty of reasons to have female friends. You can meet their friends and make warm approaches, or use pre-selection when you're out and get some numbers.

With that said, it's usually easy to tell if a guy friend wants to fuck the girl or they're just friends. If they are the ones that usually initiate contact with the girl, they most likely want her. If it's once in a while then don't worry.

Most guys would rather go out on a date and maybe get laid on the same night rather then choosing to hang out with female friends just to talk. Many girls have AFC friends. Keep that in mind as well. Even if the AFCs like her, who cares? They are AFCs and they won't get jack shit. Let them try.
Ps. stop being so insecure.
Thanks for this advice and point of view :) I appreciate it alot man.
Author:  chris1011 [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:17 pm ]
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The biggest problem you are having is looking at it from the guys side. Yes he probably wants to sleep with her but start seeing it from your girls side, he is a friend that she barely sees and he will always only be a friend in her mind. It is very obvious nothing is going on between them but I also understand your concerns.
Author:  Genium [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:24 pm ]
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Author:  Reo [ Wed Feb 22, 2012 12:21 am ]
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Well guys, I talked to her, let her know how i feel. I said I was being exactly what I didn't want to be, which is controlling, possesive, and paranoid about her cheating on me. she said that its fine I was being an ass, and she also said that a while ago, someone told her that almost everyone is gping to give you bullshit at some point in your relationship with them, its up to you if they are worth it, to get through it. she said yes i was being immature and possesive, but knew I would come around to realize that, and everything would be fine, and that she loves me with all her heart and was definitely willing to wait. :) case closed. End of story. That was easy, thanks to your guys' advice!
I wouldn't have back tracked on my words so quickly. Gotta stick to your guns. I know all too well from experience the only reason these guy friends keep contact with your girl is to see if they can eventually get in her pants. By you backtracking you opened the door for her go hangout with other dudes without you.

Think about it if the shoe was on the other foot you were single and you wanted to hang out with those guy's girlfriends 1 on 1 at a bar drinking think they'd be cool with that? Then think about the reason why you're wanting to hang out with this girl 1 on 1 for friendship? Yeah right....

Think about this these guy's know she's with you why don't they invite you to hang out? Simple because they don't want you there.

I could care less if guys on here say oh you're insecure you should let you girlfriend hangout with other guys 1 on 1. I say F all them
Author:  Genium [ Wed Feb 22, 2012 12:37 am ]
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Author:  P1nkstar [ Wed Feb 22, 2012 1:33 am ]
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Well guys, I talked to her, let her know how i feel. I said I was being exactly what I didn't want to be, which is controlling, possesive, and paranoid about her cheating on me. she said that its fine I was being an ass, and she also said that a while ago, someone told her that almost everyone is gping to give you bullshit at some point in your relationship with them, its up to you if they are worth it, to get through it. she said yes i was being immature and possesive, but knew I would come around to realize that, and everything would be fine, and that she loves me with all her heart and was definitely willing to wait. :) case closed. End of story. That was easy, thanks to your guys' advice!
I wouldn't have back tracked on my words so quickly. Gotta stick to your guns. I know all too well from experience the only reason these guy friends keep contact with your girl is to see if they can eventually get in her pants. By you backtracking you opened the door for her go hangout with other dudes without you.

Think about it if the shoe was on the other foot you were single and you wanted to hang out with those guy's girlfriends 1 on 1 at a bar drinking think they'd be cool with that? Then think about the reason why you're wanting to hang out with this girl 1 on 1 for friendship? Yeah right....

Think about this these guy's know she's with you why don't they invite you to hang out? Simple because they don't want you there.

I could care less if guys on here say oh you're insecure you should let you girlfriend hangout with other guys 1 on 1. I say F all them
They are 'old' friends, if they didnt take their chance when she was single they are certainly not doing anything now. Plus every relationship should be based on trust... If you are locking her down be prepared to be locked down yourself, life's too short for that
Author:  Sly_Wolf [ Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:03 am ]
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Well guys, I talked to her, let her know how i feel. I said I was being exactly what I didn't want to be, which is controlling, possesive, and paranoid about her cheating on me. she said that its fine I was being an ass, and she also said that a while ago, someone told her that almost everyone is gping to give you bullshit at some point in your relationship with them, its up to you if they are worth it, to get through it. she said yes i was being immature and possesive, but knew I would come around to realize that, and everything would be fine, and that she loves me with all her heart and was definitely willing to wait. :) case closed. End of story. That was easy, thanks to your guys' advice!
Okay, I may be a little analytical by saying this, but it's something to keep in mind at the very least for future reference. You made a minor (hopefully minor) mistake when you apologized to her. You shouldn't have told her you were paranoid about her cheating on you. She probably didn't know you were that insecure. Your apology was too beta/AFC. You basically told her she is 100% right and you were a total idiot. You gave her a lot of power and lowered your value, demonstrated in-congruence.

Now I was not there to see how you did it so hopefully your body language was good. The way I would have apologized would have been straight to the point and keeping it short then moving on no matter how she reacts. I would have said "listen babe, I've been doing some thinking and I've realized that I've been a little controlling with who you hang out with. Although I may be a bit uncomfortable when you're alone with another man, I want you to know that I trust you completely and want you to be happy."

...that was longer then I anticipated but I just made it up, so somewhere along those lines and you have to say this with a very calm voice and a mature look on your face. If she has the nerve to put you down after by saying yea you have been pretty immature and possessive with a bitch tone, you have to counter and end it on your terms. This will reinforce your role as the man and leader...so in that situation, you would respond by saying "look, I already apologized and I want to move past it so lets drop it already (don't show too much emotion in this response)."

You gotta remember that when having relationship issues, its important you deal with them quick and end it on your terms, even if she might think it's hers. her subconscious will take note of what happened and if there is incongruency and an opening on your part as a man, you better believe this will come up in the future even if you get married, trust me.

How many of you guys know married couples where even if the husband is mostly a cool dude, you see the wife making smart remarks, sometimes puts him down even if jokingly or starts bitching/arguing to get her way and sometimes the husband caves in often saying "gotta keep the wife happy" as his dignity and masculinity goes down the drain. I want everyone to understand this as a point of reference cause this shit happens all the time in a relationship and if you're not careful and don't take notice, you may have already conditioned her to overpower you.
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