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Fights caused by stupid little things
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Author:  EzAlex [ Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Fights caused by stupid little things
Alright, some guys have a tendency to get mad really easily, to anything, to friends, and more importantly your girlfriends. They get mad at little things that cause bigger things. I am one of those guys, dating a guy that gets mad easily can be really anoyying. I wanna get this fixed because it can be a possible problem in the future so the question is:
How do u become the boyfriend that rarely gets pissed?
-Ezalex
Author:  Wolfwoodd [ Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well, you've already established that you have a problem.. that's probably step 1. Now that you know you have a problem, how do you think you can fix it? I've never had anger management problems so I have no idea. However, I'd guess this is one of those things that could probably be helped by meditation.

Oh, and you probably will want to avoid dating "freaks" (i.e. the type of girls who will intentionally piss you off for the emotional rush).

-Wolf
Author:  gtdave [ Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Well, you've already established that you have a problem.. that's probably step 1. Now that you know you have a problem, how do you think you can fix it? I've never had anger management problems so I have no idea. However, I'd guess this is one of those things that could probably be helped by meditation.

Oh, and you probably will want to avoid dating "freaks" (i.e. the type of girls who will intentionally piss you off for the emotional rush).

-Wolf
Yea be careful who you date! Next time you get pissed off try to rationalise why your so angry? Maybe realising their isn't a need to blow your top in most cases.

I'm the opposite. I'll not get angry at much. Even laughed at at guy who punched me in a club. Interestingly he backed off when he saw how unfazed I was by his effort. Or maybe it was because I'm 6ft2 lol!

Though bottling stuff up is not the way to go either (which is my problem). It means when you do flip it could be worse.
Author:  Anon191919 [ Sat Feb 18, 2012 6:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
ahhh my friend, i was in the same position you are in just months ago! But, luckily it is a pretty easy little fix. You get mad when she flakes on you, says dumb shit to annoy you, and that kinda thing. Well, there is only one way to go about doing this. You need to REALIZE what she is doing and WHY she is doing it. If she is playing a game with you, you need to detect this game and then PLAY HARDER. This is the case only if she is really playing a game to try and get you to crack to see how strong of a man you are. But, when you realize she is just fucking with you then you no longer will be annoyed becuase you notice that it is on purpose. Example: She says, oh my god my ex boyfriend would call me every night and tell me he loves me! he was so sweet :) :) :) :) :) :). That is something that used to really piss me off. But lets go about this in a new light..... Now you will see that she is just trying to see what you will do (shit test). You could say something like... "Ya i used to call my ex girlfriend TWICE a day to tell her how much i loved her... blablablablabla.

Point of the story is, its all a game. You dont get pissed when you play monopoly do you? Then don't take it personally and realize that you are just playin in every encounter with women essentially.

crazywhiteboi
Author:  EzAlex [ Sun Feb 19, 2012 3:13 am ]
Post subject: 
maybe i posted the question wrong, it is not anger problems at all, nothing violent, nothing agressive at all. When i say pissed, really i mean frustrated, i get frustrated for little things.
CrazyWhiteboi: yes its something like this, less thats shes trying to piss me off, cause shes a very sweet girl, that dosent really do shit to piss me off, but i totaly get what you mean!



You know when things dont go your way and you get frustated, and then you make sure she knows that ur frustrated just for a way to get more attention or get what you want.
This is me, its like if im really manipulative and i want to know how the fk to stop this.
thanks
Ezalex
Author:  Anon191919 [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 4:29 am ]
Post subject: 
WE ARE LIKE BROTHERS!!!!! But ya i know excatly what you mean now. Like today my girlfriend was going to give me head while i was at work. but she couldnt come because of some lame excuse. So i partially froze her out through text. "okay" "sounds good" "whatever". That kind of stuff. I dont even know why, like i was'nt getting anything out of it besides showing her i was aggravated. It was pointless and makes me look less attractive. I guess the only real solution to this is to care less lol. But I'm all ears to anythin else
Author:  Sly_Wolf [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 4:47 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
WE ARE LIKE BROTHERS!!!!! But ya i know excatly what you mean now. Like today my girlfriend was going to give me head while i was at work. but she couldnt come because of some lame excuse. So i partially froze her out through text. "okay" "sounds good" "whatever". That kind of stuff. I dont even know why, like i was'nt getting anything out of it besides showing her i was aggravated. It was pointless and makes me look less attractive. I guess the only real solution to this is to care less lol. But I'm all ears to anythin else
I disagree, saying sounds good or "okay" is just freezing her out and punishing bad behavior, but saying "whatever" makes you less attractive cause it shows you're pissed off. Pick words carefully.

@OP, I highly recommend meditation. You will gain self awareness and control. Your life will improve overall.
Author:  EzAlex [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
CrazyWhiteboi :
I would of said or done the exact same thing, we are like brothers.
Its like when shit dosent go our way, we freeze our girl out, which is bad because usualy you freeze out a girl when you want sex, but im applying freezing out to everything that dosent go my way! This is so bad, because as you guys mentioned, it does make me look less attractive.
Sly_Wolf: Thanks ill keep it in mind

thanks guys, open to anything and everything
Ezalex
Author:  Jambi [ Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey guys, I was literally thinking the same thing while I was in the shower today (That's where most of my thinking gets done ;) )and here is my two cents:

What you are talking about are easily mistaken for shit tests.

Now most of us know, Like stated shit tests are to test how much of a man you are. This is her doing stuff to piss you off to see how you react. This allows her to determine if being in a relationship with you is worthwhile. In this case freezeout is to get her into bed with you, as you said, which allows you to go for the relationship.

Now she is already in a relationship with you, so why would she need to shit test you?
You have figured out that responding to these 'shit tests' is damaging your relationship. This is the first step. realizing that:
THE GAME HAS COMPLETELY CHANGED.

Now these 'shit tests' have a completely different meaning. She is no longer testing you as a man. You passed (via freezeout or acting un-phased, indifferent / whatever) , she knows how much of a man you are.

She is testing your love for her. Women need to feel loved. These 'SHIT TESTS' are actually 'LOVE TESTS'.

Women can't help it, bless them. They need to feel this love. It's just how it is, they don't decide it, they can't change it and neither can you. Nothing personal it's just part of this game.

Now imagine if you needed an emotional boost of feeling loved. She's thinking
'OK I guess I know he loves me really, but my fucked up brain is playing tricks and I need some proof'

Cue love test.

Now imagine you are you're girlfriend. You are testing to see if your boyfriend loves you, and instead of reassuring you that he loves you he freezes you out. MAN THAT'S A KICK IN THE TEETH. 'hat basically says, 'You know what I don't really care about you enough to deal with this.' Which inevitably gets interpreted as 'I don't love you'

You'd be pissed right?... How pissed?... pissed enough to have a month of original shit tests prepared to constantly make his life hell right? Now that is going to damage any relationship!

So because you think your manhood is under attack you take offence and try to counter it by using your P.U.A skills acting as if you are responding to a shit test.
The answer to your question and solution to your problem is to be aware that you need to respond to a love test and not a shit test. This should change your frame of mind and allow you to react in a more positive way.

** everything you learn about game does not necessarily transfer directly into a relationship.HENCE WHY THERE IS A SECTION DEDICATED TO RELATIONSHIPS**



Responding to a SHIT test as if it was a LOVE test (which is what AFC's do) = FAIL
but
Responding to a LOVE test as it it were a SHIT test (what you have done) = FAIL



So don't react in a negative way because it will damage your relationship since she will deliberately sabotage it. It goes against everything you think you have learned, since what you have learned is that acting lovingly = AFC and does not fulfils the womans needs. In reality what you are doing is providing her exactly what your woman needs by acting lovingly, acting in a positive way that is reassuring to her. Strengthening her belief that you care for her therefore strengthening the bond between you.

Hope that makes sense. I may have invented the gayest P.U.A term ever with 'LOVE TEST' but it's late and I'm half asleep and it does the job so deal with it!
Author:  EzAlex [ Wed Feb 22, 2012 8:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Jambi :
Honestly man, this reply was gold. I agree with everything you mentioned.
Freezing her out was a bad idea, and its something most of us do quite often, we dont get what we want so we are pist then finaly get it. But you pointed out that its not a shit test its a Love test.
Quote:

Now imagine you are you're girlfriend. You are testing to see if your boyfriend loves you, and instead of reassuring you that he loves you he freezes you out. MAN THAT'S A KICK IN THE TEETH. 'hat basically says, 'You know what I don't really care about you enough to deal with this.' Which inevitably gets interpreted as 'I don't love you'
I read this and slammed my hand on my desk, ur right, it makes sense, by freezing her out you make it worse.
Now of course u dont mean turning all AFC and telling her sweet things over and over again, but just a simple thing to reassure her will work well!
Thanks Jambi and everyone else
keep it coming
Ezalex
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