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| Contact her or keep freezing her out? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=126692 |
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| Author: | kaDak8 [ Mon Jan 23, 2012 6:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Contact her or keep freezing her out? |
Hi There is this 27yo HB9, we were really heading towards having a relationship (she even mentioned it once, we were walkin on the street holding hands, had sex for the last few meetups, which is supposed to be a big thing for her having had only a few partners). She really is an honest and stable, positive girl, no issues. She had this 5yr LTR but she's been single for 2 months (they were on and off for the last 10 months). We kept regular contact thoughout January, like every 2nd day. She just never initated the meetups. She is defintely looking for a LTR, she's only had LTRs, and says that I was the 4th guy she ever had sex with (even if you double this number it's not a lot). Until a few days ago I seriously thought that everything was going great :S She seemed to like me a lot! Never flaked. So I decided to see what happens if I don't contact her... Now I've been freezing her out for 8 days. But she just doesn't wanna contact me! Not even a single text mssg or anything! WTF? The reason why I thought I want her to initiate contact is 1) I don't want to train her to think of our "relationship" as it's always me who initates 2) to get her more invested. Yesterday she posted some sad youtube music on her facebook wall (Yuna - Coffee). A friend of her asked her about it. Friend of her: "Who are you thinking about when listening to it" HB9: "about him" Friend of her: "Who is that lucky bastard?" HB9: "him" Now it's either me, or someone esle (maybe her ex?). She removed this post today. 8 days without contact... Should I keep freezing her out as long as it takes her to call me or should I contact her after some time? Like now?? It's getting really awkward. I'm really looking to hear your honest thoughts on this. |
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| Author: | Richard Pryor [ Mon Jan 23, 2012 7:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
My honest thoughts are: - 5 years is a long time to be in a LTR. There's no way she could get over him in 2 months, even if they were on & off for 10 months. - There's no way that song was meant for you. - The fact that she hasn't called you in 8 days means she's not invested. If she was, she would've called by the third day. 8 days = read between the lines |
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| Author: | Snake Doctor [ Mon Jan 23, 2012 7:43 pm ] |
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Pryor is right 5 year relantioship you dont forget in only 2 months. But now seriously are you scientist to do experiments? Why are you going to freeze out a girl that things are going really well. Some guys like to shoot themself on the foot. Invite her for something casual and see how she respond too. But I wouldnt put her on g/f material right away. |
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| Author: | kaDak8 [ Mon Jan 23, 2012 9:46 pm ] |
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Thank you guys! The reason I want her to initiate contact is 1) I don't want to train her to think of our "relationship" as it's always me who initates 2) to get her more invested. There was only 1 case in the last weeks when she initiated contact. What I'm doing is not working. There is no push-pull, only me pushing. Even now that I tried to freeze her out, there was no reaction. I'm meeting a mutual friend tomorrow. I will ask him about HB9, but he's the boyfriend of a good friend of HB9, so HB9 will know about it. Let's say I call her. What do I tell her?? What do I do? Also I'm sure she will want to know why I din't call earlier. |
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| Author: | Snake Doctor [ Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Your relantioship is going nowhere the faster you understand this the better. She probably still likes or has feelings for her ex. And you are not good enough for her SPAM , you are distraction rebound guy if you wish. Accept this and try to spend time with her. Fuck her... and all that nasty things. But dont fall for this girl, she is cleary not on the same page as you. At least have some fun... if you are developing feelings for her, cut contact and move on. |
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| Author: | Richard Pryor [ Tue Jan 24, 2012 12:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yep, what the Dr said. If you decide to call her (and why wouldn't you, she's a HB9) play it cool. If she asks why you didn't call, just tell her you've been swamped with work/studies, or you can tell her (in a very playful tone) "what are you talking about. I called you on XXX." She'll be like "no, you didn't" then you say something like "I thought I did. Anyway...". Under no circumstance you say "why didn't YOU call?". Act as if nothing has happened. Act as if instead of 8 days it's been 4. Try to pick it up where you left off. Make a fun date with her. Nothing romantic. Something fun, exciting, different. Maybe even a day date. Don't mention her to this dude you're meeting tomorrow. Don't speak about her. Can you give more details regarding the last time you saw each other? Did it end up in sex? How is sex with this woman? I'm guessing it's not great? I'm sure there's room for improvement on your part? how-to-fuck-your-woman-alpha-style-vt122553.html |
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| Author: | Richard Pryor [ Tue Jan 24, 2012 12:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
And FWIW, I think your strategy was solid. At least now you know where you stand. |
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| Author: | kaDak8 [ Tue Jan 24, 2012 1:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Can you give more details regarding the last time you saw each other? Did it end up in sex?
I was totally confident with my freezeout strategy at first and went this far because I thought I was doing fantastic. I started it on a high point.How is sex with this woman? I'm guessing it's not great? I'm sure there's room for improvement on your part? Last time we met, we had a movie date, than back to my place, had a bottle of wine, she was so glowy, shared a lot of things with me. Than had sex for about an hour she came several times even squirted one huge one. We slept in each others arms naked. Than we had sex in the morning again even tho she had to hurry to work. She came once in the morning, I didn't, and then she rushed to work. I seriously couldn't have done any better. WTF is wrong with this girl? I have no idea what's going on. This really could be the ex that you guys are suggesting, but what if she's just super shy about initating? More background info: she is a smart girl from a small village, speaks 4 languages fluently, has good education, has only had LTRs. |
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| Author: | Richard Pryor [ Tue Jan 24, 2012 2:43 am ] |
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Damn, that's pretty good sex even by my standards. Did you use rubbers? Did you come all over her? Quote: This really could be the ex that you guys are suggesting, but what if she's just super shy about initating?
Nah, I guess if she's not shy to squirt and let you see her naked, then a small phone call is no biggie. It's got to be the ex.Let me guess, he left her? He is Alpha? He was in control of the relationship? Who is he? Where is he know? What does he do for a living? Quote: There was only 1 case in the last weeks when she initiated contact.
Tell us more about this incident. Details.
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| Author: | kaDak8 [ Tue Jan 24, 2012 11:48 am ] |
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Quote: Did you use rubbers? Did you come all over her?
it was without a rubber and i came on her stomach/titsQuote: if she's not shy to squirt and let you see her naked, then a small phone call is no biggie. It's got to be the ex.
i'm afraid you might be right.Quote: he left her? He is Alpha? He was in control of the relationship? Who is he? Where is he know? What does he do for a living?
i don't know much about him. what i do know is that he is about her age, has tons of money, he might be somewhat alpha or has some serious self-esteem issues. he has a good job, and rather ambitious. at least i'm better looking and a lot taller, lol. what HB9 told me about her ex:1. he used to call her fatty (idk, but she is in absolutely perfect shape now, also goes to gym a lot) 2. he used to make her do all the housework 3. she lived abroad, and she moved here for this guy (they also met abroad) 4. i 1st met HB9 last February. she was telling be back then, that she was about to leave this guy. but i don't know who ended the relationship at the end. if it was the guy dumping HB9, than i'm fucked. ima take your advice and call HB9 today, BEFORE meeting this mutual friend. -take her to iceskating -try to joke around and pick it up where we left off |
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| Author: | rakeal [ Tue Jan 24, 2012 12:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Some women expect the man to make all the moves and if he doesn't, they will cry, sulk, get angry then move on. Also by not calling her you lowered her self value, since she has so much history with her ex it may have back fired on you. "Why isn't he calling me? I'm not good enough for any guy. At least {ex} paid attention to me even though he treated me poorly. I miss him." |
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| Author: | Richard Pryor [ Tue Jan 24, 2012 3:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Let us know how it goes. Interested to know her reaction to your phone call. |
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| Author: | kaDak8 [ Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I just called her a few minutes ago. She was really happy about me calling, I couldn't beleive it! She was like: "Why didn't you call earlier?" I told her I had a terrible week. Than I told her about the ice skating, she said "I already bought us 2 weekend passes" (because we were talikng about this earlier) "but you have to make it up to me now, if you want me to use these 2 passes with you" (jokingly). I suggested that we go on Saturday. She said we would see, if I can make this up to her (also a jokingly). Than I said, that I'm free on Thursday and she interrupted me "Ok, we can meet on Thusrday, but than I wanna talk to you".... I was shocked here! I suggested that we go talking to a swimming complex (I already mentioned her that I wanna take her there) and we can chill out in the jakuzzi or sauna (usually pretty empty, easy to escalate). Why would she wanna TALK with me first? As I was shocked I thought it would be a good idea to bring her back to the perfect mood so I was joking around and we we were talking about the last few times we spent together and bringing back good memories and ended the call on a high note. Quote: Some guys like to shoot themself on the foot.
That was me this timeQuote: Some women expect the man to make all the moves and if he doesn't, they will cry
This might be the case here, but then how do I avoid being seem too needy?WFT does she wanna talk about? What should I do on Thursday? Further advice is greatly appreciated. |
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| Author: | MagicCaveman [ Tue Jan 24, 2012 6:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I read half of these responces.... But seriously dude..... She has always been in a relationship, probably always had this closure. She will miss someone who she has been with for 5 years, thats 1/5 of her whole life ffs!!!!! She probs liked you, and now your freezing her out, she probably doesn't know what to do with someone new like you, she probs now think that its wierd that you havnt contacted her! And she feels as though shes worthless because of that. 1. Contact her! 2. Show her that you are the man she wants. The new man in her life. Show her fun, show her more and she will forget this other guy. |
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| Author: | MagicCaveman [ Tue Jan 24, 2012 6:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
ok just decided to read the rest and... hmmm my guess is that she is going to say. 1. she may have slept with her ex, and wants to tell you, and that they arnt geting back together etc.. :/ -or 2. she wants to chat about her insecurities before she can take it to another level with you. I hope its number 2. But dude. Show her fun. Interesting and something else thats good. Make it worth living for. You can do it buddy. |
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