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this girl thinks she can cheat on me
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Author:  heno 007 [ Wed Sep 07, 2011 8:00 am ]
Post subject:  this girl thinks she can cheat on me
So im in a LDR with my girlfriend of 9months (its 1.5 hr drive) i see her every 2 weeks. I am going to put forward the reasons why i think shes cheating/why shes not cheating and I need advice on what to do.

why shes cheating
-I was at a bar with all her work friends (i decided to meet them) and one of the workers(who is in love with my girlfriend) yelled at my girlfriend "why dont you have a threesome with worker x"
-when i confronted her about this she told me that her new friends were trying to test me and then avoided the question all together
-there is a rumour that that same worker and her hooked up
-She told me while she was on holiday that a guy tried to kiss her but she backed off because she loves me
-i SPAM her one time(no video) and heard her bed screeching(she was still typing on her computer and i heard no moaning or panting... 20mins into the call she went for a shower. she later said her SPAM was broken.
-shes hb 8 and has a lot of opportunity
-she buys me a lot of presents
-I used to not give her much attention
-I have a gut feeling she is

why shes not cheating
-shes never cheated
-she's given up a lot for our relationship (put her degree on hold)
-she is enormously emotionally attached to me, she couldn't do anything last time we broke up for a day... eat, sleep, talk or have fun
-we have mind blowing sex, she has a school girl crush on me and she has involved me in every aspect of her life (friends, family, life)


when will a girl cheat? any opinion's on my relationship
Author:  Solteris [ Wed Sep 07, 2011 8:10 am ]
Post subject: 
LDR's are bullshit. Period. She can do whatever she wants just like you can. If she's not there to touch your penis for you...it's not a relationship bud.
Author:  heno 007 [ Wed Sep 07, 2011 8:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Seeing eachother isn't a problem, i have holidays, mid sem break... we chat to eachother daily. I have NO problem with the amount i see her
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Wed Sep 07, 2011 9:15 am ]
Post subject: 
OP:

you are not mentally or emotionally capable of handling a LDR.

get out.

get out now.
Author:  Little Panda [ Wed Sep 07, 2011 10:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Dude . . . seriously?
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Wed Sep 07, 2011 10:35 am ]
Post subject: 
You have a gut feeling she's cheating on you

So you don't trust her.


So end this relationship NOW, and it doesn't even matter whether this is LDR or not.

You can't be with someone if you don't trust her !!!
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Wed Sep 07, 2011 10:37 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
LDR's are bullshit. Period. She can do whatever she wants just like you can. If she's not there to touch your penis for you...it's not a relationship bud.
Relationships aren't build only on sex..


I agree that LDR's are bullshit if you don't have a solid base to build on.

If you got to know each other a (long) time before, LDR's can work out.
Author:  Don Draper [ Wed Sep 07, 2011 11:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Is this for real?

Long Distance Relationships are not your cup of tea. Faster, Pussycat! Run! Run!
Author:  heno 007 [ Wed Sep 07, 2011 5:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
i never thought id be in this situation... but i am already emotionally attached and care about her a lot so obviously i dont want to break up. It's sad to see forum leaders having such unwillingless to emote especially because it's an attraction switch. It's easy for you to say break up because you aren't actually in the relationship.

i dont really care if i get burnt, i will just punch the guy in the face
Author:  Don Draper [ Wed Sep 07, 2011 5:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
i never thought id be in this situation... but i am already emotionally attached and care about her a lot so obviously i dont want to break up. It's sad to see forum leaders having such unwillingless to emote especially because it's an attraction switch. It's easy for you to say break up because you aren't actually in the relationship.

i dont really care if i get burnt, i will just punch the guy in the face
Well, now that you had to say all THAT, I just couldn't resist replying.

First things first, let's focus on you here, you posted your problem in this thread.. I didn't, neither did Mack, nor Little Panda.. so don't start making judgements on us because you don't know shit about us.

Now, why we say it's not your field to dabble in..

The Greatest Hits of heno 007

Quote:
I was at a bar with all her work friends (i decided to meet them) and one of the workers(who is in love with my girlfriend) yelled at my girlfriend "why dont you have a threesome with worker x" when i confronted her about this she told me that her new friends were trying to test me and then avoided the question all together
there is a rumour that that same worker and her hooked up
So, what? Now you start believing in rumors and what her employees yell about her? That just shows your insecurity. You aren't secure enough on your own end to believe that at the end of the day she will come back to you. Sure, there are temptations and it's a physical world, but women are fiercely loyal, especially compared to men. She avoided the question because she didn't want to further a baseless discussion. Not because she was trying to hide something, Edison.
Quote:
She told me while she was on holiday that a guy tried to kiss her but she backed off because she loves me
Well. She loves you. Why else would she bring it up? If she had indeed cheated she would have a guilty conscience about it and would choose to not bring up such a topic, the fact she brought it shows she's honest with you. But, apparently, you derived all sorts of conclusions from that too.
Quote:
i SPAM her one time(no video) and heard her bed screeching(she was still typing on her computer and i heard no moaning or panting... 20mins into the call she went for a shower. she later said her SPAM was broken.
So, what? She was having sex but was typing at the same time? Sounds kinky, but impossible and the chances of it happening to you are well, let's not talk about that. :lol: Did you consider this possibility? She went for a shower cause she wanted one? Or, that her SPAM might indeed not be working properly that day? Either way, it seems unlikely she'll be having sex while SPAM-ing you. Is this a joke?
Quote:
she buys me a lot of presents
I feel for this girl. She has to put up with you. I mean the poor thing is being called out on, for buying you presents? If she was cheating, she'd be spending her money to set up logistics or on phone bills with the guys she wasn't telling you about, not being your regular Santa.

While I could dissect everything here, I frankly don't think you're worth that effort or that you deserve my time any more than I've spent here already.

And you can try to punch me in the face all you want, but that won't change the reality here, buddy.

You are nothing. That's what you are.
Author:  Esco229 [ Wed Sep 07, 2011 6:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
I have just come out of a LDR, my ex used to always come to see me. She recently moved to my area for me as there was a short job opportunity. When she got here she decided she didnt know if she wanted to be in a relationship. I thought she was cheating as well. Turns out she was well on her way to doing the deed, could have even have done it I'll never know. Worst thing being she was the nicest person (until now) that I had meet, ever! my advice, is to get out before you mess yourself up like I have. I guess the others are right, LDR don't work in my opinion! Good luck!
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Wed Sep 07, 2011 7:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree that the Topic starter clearly doesn't know how to handle a relationship. But as far as i know the community exists to HELP people.

Saying "you are nothing" is not really HELPING.
Author:  P1nkstar [ Thu Sep 08, 2011 12:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
i never thought id be in this situation... but i am already emotionally attached and care about her a lot so obviously i dont want to break up. It's sad to see forum leaders having such unwillingless to emote especially because it's an attraction switch. It's easy for you to say break up because you aren't actually in the relationship.

i dont really care if i get burnt, i will just punch the guy in the face
Well, now that you had to say all THAT, I just couldn't resist replying.

First things first, let's focus on you here, you posted your problem in this thread.. I didn't, neither did Mack, nor Little Panda.. so don't start making judgements on us because you don't know shit about us.

Now, why we say it's not your field to dabble in..

The Greatest Hits of heno 007

Quote:
I was at a bar with all her work friends (i decided to meet them) and one of the workers(who is in love with my girlfriend) yelled at my girlfriend "why dont you have a threesome with worker x" when i confronted her about this she told me that her new friends were trying to test me and then avoided the question all together
there is a rumour that that same worker and her hooked up
So, what? Now you start believing in rumors and what her employees yell about her? That just shows your insecurity. You aren't secure enough on your own end to believe that at the end of the day she will come back to you. Sure, there are temptations and it's a physical world, but women are fiercely loyal, especially compared to men. She avoided the question because she didn't want to further a baseless discussion. Not because she was trying to hide something, Edison.
Quote:
She told me while she was on holiday that a guy tried to kiss her but she backed off because she loves me
Well. She loves you. Why else would she bring it up? If she had indeed cheated she would have a guilty conscience about it and would choose to not bring up such a topic, the fact she brought it shows she's honest with you. But, apparently, you derived all sorts of conclusions from that too.
Quote:
i SPAM her one time(no video) and heard her bed screeching(she was still typing on her computer and i heard no moaning or panting... 20mins into the call she went for a shower. she later said her SPAM was broken.
So, what? She was having sex but was typing at the same time? Sounds kinky, but impossible and the chances of it happening to you are well, let's not talk about that. :lol: Did you consider this possibility? She went for a shower cause she wanted one? Or, that her SPAM might indeed not be working properly that day? Either way, it seems unlikely she'll be having sex while SPAM-ing you. Is this a joke?
Quote:
she buys me a lot of presents
I feel for this girl. She has to put up with you. I mean the poor thing is being called out on, for buying you presents? If she was cheating, she'd be spending her money to set up logistics or on phone bills with the guys she wasn't telling you about, not being your regular Santa.

While I could dissect everything here, I frankly don't think you're worth that effort or that you deserve my time any more than I've spent here already.

And you can try to punch me in the face all you want, but that won't change the reality here, buddy.

You are nothing. That's what you are.
+1 vote for effort.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Thu Sep 08, 2011 9:40 am ]
Post subject: 
agreed with don draper.

he said what we were all thinking.

props for having the patience to "go there".

anyway, you have to be a live-and-let-live type of person to be in an LDR.

you have to be willing to trust and willing to lose.

that's all there is to it.

and actually, it's the same situation even when dating in your own zip code.

trust is hard.

but it's not so much about knowing what she is doing all the time,

as it is about being okay with whatever happens...happens.

if she screws up, she loses you.

if she doesn't care about that, why should you?
Author:  Mr Smiles [ Thu Sep 08, 2011 12:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
I just got out of a 5 year LDR (3 hour drive). But we trusted each other absolutely and thus our relationship grew. Grew us apart (another story) but grew all the same. Establish trust first...make sure she gets what she needs too or she WILL seek elsewhere eventually.

Have a long serious face-to-face talk with her covering all the issues in depth and determine then and there if there is something to worry about and something you can fix. I learned that proper real communication is the ONLY way to survive in a LDR...you guys need to share ALOT more than the average couple to compensate. Not just face to face but on the phone every day! This last relationship taught me to do this, i realized that i never really comunicated before.

Good luck bro. Just resolve this doubt ASAP, it's unhealthy.
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