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Is it really necessary to bring up painful memories?
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Author:  aim2pleezdj [ Fri May 16, 2008 10:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Is it really necessary to bring up painful memories?
I did some reading...

and I was wondering if

Is it really necessary to bring up painful memories and then following immediately with bringing up positive memories in order to establish yourself as a problem solving Hero?
Author:  DJ_Secret [ Sat May 17, 2008 6:49 am ]
Post subject: 
look down.
Author:  DJ_Secret [ Sat May 17, 2008 6:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is it really necessary to bring up painful memories?
Quote:
I did some reading...

and I was wondering if

Is it really necessary to bring up painful memories and then following immediately with bringing up positive memories in order to establish yourself as a problem solving Hero?
Do you aim to please me?...(lol) :wink: . Well...it depends really...if the chic tells you some painful story...your job is not to act as her confidant ...u should immediately and mind it "immediately" change the topic to something very positive or risk being LJBFed and associated with those negative feelings of hers. Never mind solving her problems, that's what her friends do and if she can't find a confidant in her friends well then i doubt if she really is a good chic for u anyway.
Author:  Corentin [ Sat May 17, 2008 11:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is it really necessary to bring up painful memories?
Quote:
I did some reading...

and I was wondering if

Is it really necessary to bring up painful memories and then following immediately with bringing up positive memories in order to establish yourself as a problem solving Hero?
What did you read?... Sounds like OMS, where you bring out her painful chilhood memory and then immediately concentrate on good feelings.
Author:  clawn [ Wed Jun 11, 2008 6:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ehm why exactly would you want to be a problem solving hero? Or do you mean that you want to reduce the pain that you get from those memories? There are techniques for doing that, but I'm not sure if I'm getting your goal here.
Author:  Fra Diavlo [ Wed Jun 18, 2008 4:41 am ]
Post subject: 
This is what I have done, and I found that it works. It does involve bringing up negative memories, but your perception of the negative memory will be changed forever, therefore not allowing the past experience to hold you back anymore.

1. Recall a specific negative experience.
-Play the experience back in your head like a movie
-Remember all of the sounds and physical feelings you were experiencing
-Take as much time as needed to feel the way you did during that experience.
2. Break that state by standing up and shaking out your arms and legs
3. Think of a piece of music that puts you in a good mood.
-This music should embody the opposite sensation of what it felt like during your negative experience
4. Go back and replay the "movie" of the negative experience. This time using the music as your only sound track.
-Only focus on the positive feeling as you review the experience
5. Break the state again
6. Once again watch the experience like a movie in your head and you will notice a big difference in how you perceive the situation

*The result will be permanent!

I have found that this has been a positive mental tool to overcome AA that stems from past failures. I also use it to make myself not worry about any passed social awkwardness I may have experienced. Sometimes you just need a clean slate, but recalling the negative experience is necessary in order to leave it behind for good.
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