nice, definitely room to improve on, but good voice tone and body language in general. I like how you opened her while you were still walking from a distance, that is probably the best way to open, good job. Even if you didnt use your line afterward, it would have gone at least just as well.
Body language: What would work better is if you picked up a random item from the shelf [facing towards shelf] and turn your head while talking, and occasionally look back at the item. when she says something you like, example, when she asked what your doing later (ioi) turn towards her, rewarding her for her response.
Conversation: you have to go either direct or indirect, you cant skip from one to the other, unless you start with an indirect statement and escalate towards direct. Otherwise it seems insincere and she knows what your up to. I love direct for day game, it really hits the girl hard and not matter how it goes, shes always impressed with you confidence. Seriously, how often does that happen to her?
You: where can i shop for phone numbers
her: haha whos phone numbers?
you: lol i dunno
what you could have said there is " yours silly" (direct) or "girls in uniform" (passive direct) "sexy girls" (shed be unsure if your complimenting her or negging her) " she really set you up there for some comedy gold. anything really, maybe awww you blew it, i have a strict 10 second policy, i only take numbers if the girl throws hers at me right off the bat. I don't like teases, you're not a tease are you?
(you're qualifying her at that point, seeing if she fits into YOUR standards)
"Did i make you blush" great line, I'm making a mental note on that one, whatsa great is that shes likely to blush after you ask her that.
You asked a lot of questions. I did this a lot when i first started day game, and it wasn't until my wingman pointed it out that I started to work on that. As long as you give her eye contact with a sly smile, you can say virtually anything and it will always come out better than a question. Don't react verbally to anything she says, I noticed after she said something you'd respond with "yeah?" "no?" "haha really?"
I noticed she re-initiated the conversation once, definitely the an ioi, and then she did it again later on when she asked what your doing later. HUGE ioi man. you answered with I dunno, I'll probably go out. You were subconsciously trying to leave a window open for her to say oh nice we should do something. But that NEVER happens. Girls who are attracted to you will often leave similar windows open in hopes that you capitalize on it.
here are two options after she asks you a question like that:
a)open up your language and answer with whatever plans you have, something like my friends having a birthday party at Xclub/his place or going out with some friends. anything social and exiting works here. And at that point say i've gotta go my buddy's wating outside, but you know what, fell free to come by to Xclub, its definitely gonna be a good time. here, ill give you my number so you can find me. [number exchange]
OR
b)don't open your body language, slowly turn your head towards her raise an eyebrow, and repeat what she said withe emphasis "what. am . EYYYEE. doing. later? woah there, slow down cowgirl, im not THAT easy. " definitely smile during this . continue with some rant that youre not just some piece of meat for her to relieve herself after a day of stacking boxes." so all that was in a hugely joking sarcastic tone. turn towards her take your smile off stare at her, lower your voice, speed it up. "but seriously im doing this and this and this and then maybe this, but this is also happening, feel free to tag along [take a breath, pull out your phone] number? (this should also come off as a joke, i like to pull this kinda stuff off it adds nice contrast)
Keep the videos coming, definitely a good way to speed up the learning process, plus its fun
I like how close the camera man was, although that can come off as a little awkward when there isnt a crowd, try filming from further, but have a microphone on you, and then just merge them together in editing software. the audio quality is generally more important then vid quality
Sorry if I came off a little harsh in this comment, i was aiming for constructive criticism. you really did do a good job and i guarantee you'll improve your game at an exponential rate if you keep opening like this, especially during the day. dont hate the player, hate the game :P but dont, the game is the shit
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