I'll try and share a couple of my thoughts with you, so don't take any of this personal
- Good quality. Infield videos can be hard to record all by yourself. Both audio and video are good to watch and listen to.
However I did not enjoy the intro of the video at all. I completely understand the need to promote said site or whatever, but with an intro as extensive as this one, as well as the claims made etc. might turn away people from your video. Same goes for the outro I guess.
Also please, remove the logo from the middle of the screen.
- If I saw it correctly, you were walking next to her for quite awhile. Glanced over a few times before actually opening her. Nothing really big, but you might want to look into minimizing your time to take action.
- The indirect opener in itself is fine with me. Most guys however will try a direct opener in low energy situations, because they don't suspect a bitch shield or whatever you wanna call it.
I suggest you trying both styles, try and see what works best for you.
There were a couple of things I didn't like in your opener though, mostly that you kept walking.
You noticed that as soon as she answered your question she assumed the conversation was over.
For the reason you both kept walking you actually needed to invest quite a bit, telling her you're:"not done talking yet", for you to continue. You were direct and upfront about continuing, so that was nice.
It does however feel really shaky, and I'm guessing you felt that too.
Please try to at least stop your set so you can both invest into the conversation without awkardly trying to still get to wherever you were going.
- Next up you ask her if she fancy a coffee sometime. Now it sure did work in this set, and I'm sure it'll work in more, but you have to stop and ask yourself at this point; "what do I have going on that she even wants to tag along for a coffee anyway?"
There was nothing in the conversation at all that would convince her to go with you on a coffee, except for your outstanding looks and confidence.
At the very least, if you want to keep the same pace and speed in the set, please, just turn this question into a statement.
- "Can I get your number, is that cool?"
I don't like this at all. The second she agrees to grab a coffee sometime there is no point in asking her for her number anymore. With accepting your invitation she already agrees to exchange contact information.
This question does nothing good for you. Again, use a statement instead and never question yourself or your actions: "is that cool?", you're the man, everything you do is fucking awesome.
- Now I don't know if you're planning on flaking on the girl or not, but also I really didn't like you just "memorizing" the number. Even if you do have an awesome memory, just write it down somewhere. A piece of paper, your phone, on your hand, it doesn't really matter. This, combined with you not being able to instantly repeat the number, makes the whole situation feel a bit weird.
Thanks for sharing your video and try to keep improving
~Phate