Hello everyone. I'll try to build my first post according to the introductory recommendation thread.
My name's not Roisin, I'm 20 and I come from Romania(hopefully I'll move to UK this autumn). The following will be too personal, too introductory, and definitely a cry for help. I guess it's always easier confessing to strangers...
I haven't been studying pickup. The first time I even realized this can be both precise science and an art was about 3 weeks ago when I read Style's "Game" which I was profoundly impressed by.
The reason I read it... Well, it basically shares the reason I'm here.
Long-story short it was recommended by my best friend after I suffered a severe oneitis. Since last October till this June, I lived with a girl(J.) which I knew(and chased) for almost 4 years, so it's fair to say I wanted to turn a bff into a girlfriend. THE girlfriend.
On several occasions I kiss-closed, on 2 occasions I scored. But I guess I always wanted more, I wanted what I unwillingly get from most of the girls I always lose interest in. I wanted her to love me. Needless to say it went terrible, and I'm inclined to say we'll never see each other again. BUT I don't want to make amends for it and somehow strategically get her.
The reason I'm here is because I want to get rid of it. I need to clear my thoughts, get over it, CHANGE. And I think there's at least a handful of people who might be able to help.
Before this long, troublesome and obsessive episode in which I lived with her, I used to go out a lot(even though she was a purpose since I was a teen). I got laid and basically had more tail than any of my friends, I also had a general lack of emotional connection with any of the girls I dated and/or picked up for a one night stand. I used to think of myself as an alpha. Even though I'm not good looking(I had an accident when I was a kid - 3rd and 4th degree burns on half of my face and 25% of my body), I could say I successfully compensated with cockyness(I managed to get myself in all the right/popular groups), humour(long live stand-up comedy), and a lot of practice in conversation.
I think I realized the best things in life are sex, coffee and conversation. All of this when I first got laid(I was 15).
I haven't changed my opinion about that, but somewhere along I just lost the ounce of touch I had, since I can't exactly call myself a PUA nor my lucky teen years the game. Now in this last year, I find myself in the position of being a REALLY desperate frustrated chump. I'm an emotional wreck right now, and I can't stop thinking how my life used to be remotely better. How things are much easier when you're not emotionally unstable, and how sex and affection can cure all of that.
In these last 3 weeks I had grief sex. 2 old fuckfriends, one of them even offered long-term "therapy". But I want something different, it's not all about my manly needs. I don't even want to get back to my old self. I think I'm in the state of wanting to evolve, change, have a better taste of everything there is to life. And I think it all starts here.
I therefore stand before you guys, asking for counseling, tutoring and e-friendship.
As I kind of exaggerated with the back-story recommendation, I'll be brief about the real introduction.
I'm 20 and I'm a student. I love music(mostly electronic stuff i.e - dubstep/drum and bass), drug films and mostly mindfuck movies, weed, partying and russian literature.
My goal here is to achieve all the possible knowledge about the opposite sex, and the art of handling it. In larger lines, I guess it's self gratification and change.
Offtopic: It's 4 AM here, and it took me almost an hour to write this wall
