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Trying to get my life together
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Author:  bman4199 [ Thu Feb 25, 2016 2:53 am ]
Post subject:  Trying to get my life together

I'm a 26 year old guy. I dated a girl for 4 years, but we broke up back in march of 2015. Frankly, its been a rough year. I started getting myself back out towards the end of last summer and it hasn't been going well. I'm what I'm told a good looking guy, workout daily and a descent normal human being (apparently not to females). I have a good sense of humor to my guy friends (which is useless) but women do find me funny at times too. I make good money at work so I'm not a loser to any regards, but my confidence is the lowest its been in a while. My ex started dating somebody and it just sucks that I am unable to move on.
I come off desperate, creepy or who knows, but clearly what im doing isn't working. Women will ask my friends about me and ask for my # before meeting me, and i just screw up God knows how. It's almost funny because me dropping the ball the past 6 months has happened 20+ times (with an occasional bang that i didnt want to do in the first place). I feel like i need to get back at square one and I figure i post here. I just want to bounce back and respect myself to get out their again. I feel like my mindset and stress level aren't where they need to be.

Author:  JackZero [ Thu Feb 25, 2016 3:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Trying to get my life together

Quote:
It's almost funny because me dropping the ball the past 6 months has happened 20+ times (with an occasional bang that i didnt want to do in the first place).
Right here. I'm willing to bet that you are a needy guy with the girls you actually like and that neediness is sub-communicated to women.

Author:  bman4199 [ Thu Feb 25, 2016 3:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Trying to get my life together

Quote:
Quote:
It's almost funny because me dropping the ball the past 6 months has happened 20+ times (with an occasional bang that i didnt want to do in the first place).
Right here. I'm willing to bet that you come across as a needy guy with the girls you actually like and that neediness is subcommunicated with women.

I have 0 game when it comes to playing it cool. In my mind i feel like if I have a females # ..
A) times going by and other guys are talking to her if I don't text her
B) I say stupid stuff
C) or like you said....come off desperate.

Author:  JackZero [ Thu Feb 25, 2016 3:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Trying to get my life together

Quote:
I have 0 game when it comes to playing it cool. In my mind i feel like if I have a females # ..
"Having game" is something that men pressure themselves with. Trying to have it will hurt you more than help you.
Quote:
A) times going by and other guys are talking to her if I don't text her
Single girls often have multiple guys trying to get to them. Put it out of your mind as it being competition. Be yourself and if it is a good match, you'll get them.
Quote:
B) I say stupid stuff
It's okay. A girl that's into you will not be turned off by stupid statements. Be comfortable and confident in the things that you say.
Quote:
C) or like you said....come off desperate.
Treat each interaction with women as if you are evaluating them for a further interaction while getting to know them. This way, you're not worried about having their approval and it will be impossible to come across as needy or desperate.

Author:  bman4199 [ Thu Feb 25, 2016 3:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Trying to get my life together

I mean by stupid stuff is I feel like it doesn't click as I want it too, or it comes off creepy.

I have no idea how to not pressure myself and like you said it's a major part of the problem. It's almost like i dont know how to act normal to females i like.


And do you care to clarify your bottom comment? Thankyou

Author:  JackZero [ Thu Feb 25, 2016 4:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Trying to get my life together

Quote:
And do you care to clarify your bottom comment? Thankyou
Don't approach a date with the intent of making a girl like you or being afraid to lose her. Approach it as if you want to know if she's worthy of your time. Value yourself first and then her.

Author:  Black Phantom [ Sat Feb 27, 2016 12:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Trying to get my life together

Quote:
I'm a 26 year old guy. I dated a girl for 4 years, but we broke up back in march of 2015. Frankly, its been a rough year. I started getting myself back out towards the end of last summer and it hasn't been going well. I'm what I'm told a good looking guy, workout daily and a descent normal human being (apparently not to females). I have a good sense of humor to my guy friends (which is useless) but women do find me funny at times too. I make good money at work so I'm not a loser to any regards, but my confidence is the lowest its been in a while. My ex started dating somebody and it just sucks that I am unable to move on.
I come off desperate, creepy or who knows, but clearly what im doing isn't working. Women will ask my friends about me and ask for my # before meeting me, and i just screw up God knows how. It's almost funny because me dropping the ball the past 6 months has happened 20+ times (with an occasional bang that i didnt want to do in the first place). I feel like i need to get back at square one and I figure i post here. I just want to bounce back and respect myself to get out their again. I feel like my mindset and stress level aren't where they need to be.
Hey man,

I've been where you are before too. I too ended a relationship and it sucked when I would see her with another dude while I was still picking myself back up.

From experience, I have to tell you that working on your self and your skills of meeting women is the thing that
will get you out of this.

Specifically, developing a sense of confidence, or a sense of what makes you great for girls, why are you attractive
and what do you have going for yourself.

Getting clear on those questions is the key to moving on.

If you'd like me to help you with some of the challenges, you can join my test group in my signature. I'll be
happy to help you get some stuff back on track.

Good luck,

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