PUA Forum
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Still Single in College
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=183064		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  AFC_Joe [ Sun Aug 24, 2014 5:06 am ]
Post subject:  Still Single in College
Hey guys, my name is Joe, and I am (as my friend described it) an AFC. I am also nineteen years old and an incoming college freshman. I am 6'5 but not in great shape (although I am not morbidly obese either, just a tad bit overweight) and also not the best looking. I am a pretty intelligent guy (I graduated HS with a 4.4 GPA) and I've been told my sense of humor is pretty good too, but I seem to have terrible luck with women. The first thing you should know about me is that I have never had a girlfriend and, as such, have never had sex. It's not being a college virgin that worries me- it's the fact that girls don't seem to ever have any kind of interest in me.

When I was a high school junior, I asked a girl out for the first time ever. (I asked her to prom.) She replied with the old "no, I just wanna be friends with you," which I was okay with, even though it felt like a punch to the gut at the moment. (For the record- I don't view "friendzoning" as necessarily a bad thing, but it's really tough to have confidence when that's all girls see you as.) However, she essentially stopped talking to me for a long time after that- I sent her a lengthy two page text the following day about how much I respected her and her decision and still valued her friendship, and she replied with one word: "okay."

I moved on after that- in my senior year, there was a really pretty girl in my Stats class and she laughed at all the jokes I made in class and seemed to enjoy my company. Naturally, I developed a crush on her, but I lacked the guts to pursue her- I was still crushed from being rejected by the first girl, who shall now be referred to as R. Instead, I told one of my classmates to tell H (the second girl) to tell her I like her without telling her I told him to do so, and the result was predictably disastrous- she was creeped out by the whole idea and although I apologized to her later on and she told me it was because she "didn't have time for a relationship" that late in high school, I knew the real reason was because she found me unattractive.

Maybe a month later, I was asked by a female acquaintance whom I have no romantic interest in to be in her prom group. (This is senior prom now, not junior prom.) I said sure, after all, I wasn't gonna ask a girl- not after what happened with R and H. Days later, I was chatting with said acquaintance about the group and asked her if I could bring a date to the group should I happen to get one. She said yes and then told me that there was a girl in our group who really wanted to go with me- I asked her, she told me, I asked the girl, and she said yes. (This girl will be known as K.) She seemed really into me on prom night- dancing close to me and whatnot, even intentionally bumping into her ex and then grabbing my hands a second later. After prom wasn't quite as fun- our group went ice skating and I absolutely sucked at it, so they essentially went somewhere else (it was a family fun center with ice skating as one
of the activities) and when I found her later, she really didn't seem to want to be around me. I texted her again that weekend, offering to take her to the movies. She agreed, and it was a decent time- I was really nervous the whole night because I didn't know if it was a date or not. I kept reading her body language during the movie for clues but didn't get any. Long story short, I told her I was interested in dating her about a week later (after AP tests were done), and she gave me the same line H did: not enough time.

I could continue to provide stories about girls I was interested in but rejected me, however, those three are the main ones. While nothing has happened with H and K since they told me they weren't interested, something has happened with R- she Facebook messaged me a couple days after my graduation party saying she was sorry she couldn't make it and then again after my birthday wishing me a happy belated birthday (she NEVER interacts with me on Facebook, so this was kind of a big deal), and to be
honest, I have never gotten 100% over her. Plus, she is going to the same college as I am, and although I haven't seen her since moving in Thursday, I am bound to eventually. I'm not saying I am going to chase her down and try to win her over, but out of all the girls I know, she is the one that I would most like to be in a relationship with.

Okay, sorry for the long post above (writing is kind of my thing- I love to express myself), but now I will get down to why I'm here. I met a guy here in college who described himself as an RAFC (he explained all the terminology to me) and after getting a bunch of different girls' numbers told me that he wanted to train me how to pick up girls as well. He led me to this site, and convinced me to make an account. After reading some of the stuff on here, though, I have a few questions. Does this site deal with strictly "picking up chicks," or is it about starting relationships with women? I personally am not interested in getting like ten or more numbers and dating them all- all I want is for one nice girl to be interested in me and to take things from there and see how it works out with her. I don't want to view women as objects, but I do want to connect with them better, start more conversations, and get to know more of them in college than I did in high school. Also, what do you guys think about R? Is she worth pursuing? I really would like to "hang out" with her (even as friends) to get to know her better and see if a relationship could potentially work out, but I am scared of being shot down again. What should I do?
Author:  Vandal PUA [ Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Still Single in College
Hi Joe. You know who I am (the guy who pointed him to this forum was me). Just remember what I told you about gaming. There are a lot of small skills that will help you become a PUA but the most important thing is confidence. You wanna be that cool funny guy who the girls always think about it.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Thu Aug 28, 2014 4:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Still Single in College
Hi Joe,

Welcome to the forums.

To answer your question: There are a number of posters on this site who are very experienced with both pickup (many girls) and with relationships... and with relationships after pickup (which can be tricky - you have to basically unlearn some of the stuff you need to learn for pickup once you're in a relationship).

I can tell you right off the bat your problem is this:
Quote:
Okay, sorry for the long post above (writing is kind of my thing- I love to express myself)
Stop expressing yourself to women. It's a deal killer. It kills mystery. It kills excitement. It kills your chances... Example:
Quote:
Long story short, I told her I was interested in dating her about a week later (after AP tests were done), and she gave me the same line H did: not enough time.
You don't tell women this. Ever.

You show them. Kiss her. Kino. Show her physically and always play your cards close to your chest... Don't give anything away. Girls love mystery and not being able to completely figure you out. When you express yourself, you take that away from them. It creeps girls out to hear you're interested in them, and you get yourself friendzoned...

Other issues:
Quote:
(For the record- I don't view "friendzoning" as necessarily a bad thing, but it's really tough to have confidence when that's all girls see you as.)
This is wrong. Stay the fuck out of the friendzone, Joe.

How did you get in the friendzone?
Quote:
However, she essentially stopped talking to me for a long time after that- I sent her a lengthy two page text the following day about how much I respected her and her decision and still valued her friendship, and she replied with one word: "okay."
^ That's how. Expressing yourself again. Stop that.

Here's what else I'd advise: Join a gym and get in better shape. If you're overweight and you're not thrilled with your looks, then girls won't be either. You need confidence badly. And you're missing a key element to pickup: You need to believe you're the shit. You really do. You need this confidence, and you need to believe you're worth dating, and that you're fun and exciting and amazing... Why do you need this? Because girls can smell this a mile away. They also smell that you don't like yourself right now...

You have a ways to go - but it's great that you're taking the plunge. This shit works if you stick with it. There are a lot of smart guys here and we've been through all this shit before.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/