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I'm the worst case scenario, is there hope for me?
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Author:  devourgeorge [ Sun Aug 10, 2014 11:35 pm ]
Post subject:  I'm the worst case scenario, is there hope for me?
These are excerps from my Journal/Diary, that describe me, so it looks a little bit put-together from pieces and not like "one post". If anyone reads it, I'd like some advice, any advice. The best I hope for is a pen-pal mentor.

I'm a 25 yo college droput from a poor eastern European country. I don't have a job, friends or a social life.
I'm new to forums and stuff, and I have been reading and watching videos about PUA but never tried any of it. And I still live with my parents. I do believe that PUA works, I just don't think I have the strength in me to change.
I don’t like my looks (wide ears, skiny, pale, short, weird nose shape, huge forehead due to hair loss) my looks is not an asset, it holds me down. Even tough I groom myself, I look decent, nothing more. My body is in terrible shape. I have no muscles. My shoulders are sloppy and my posture is the worst part of my first impression. I look like a questionmark. My hairstyle got a relaps to the nerdy schoolboy style. I like it short and simple, just don’t get any attention.
I have no fashion sense, altough I dont dress like a total nerd, I dont stand out either. I don’t have any fashion sense that could give me a leg up to make up for the lack of good looks. I don’t know how to chose cool clothes. I don’t have enough confidence to wear attention-grabbing clothes.
My confidence is very low. I am relativelly old and I feel like nothing changed since the age of 13. Nothing positive happened. This projects into my body language and voice. My whole body gives the impression of a weak and timid kid and not a strong and grown man.
I never had a girlfriend, never slept with one, never even held a girls hand. So I'm a loser in terms of love life.
My body language is stuck on the road to becoming an alpha male. I have the broad strokes, I tried all of it, but dont know how to replace old body language with new. I am not the total hands-in-pockets loser I used to be with 17. But I am far of from the strong man I want to be. My voice is weak and low pitch. I’d like it more rough, masculine and a bit louder. I also want some rhetorical skills, speaking slower, with more confidence and rhytmic.
The main reason I can't change is money, which my family don't have. I live in a country where it's hard to find any job. I changed a bit, enough for people who don’t know me to give me a bit of respect, but as soon as they get to know me for longer than 15 minutes, they see the me I try to change, and start treating me accordingly. Especially girls are not attracted to me at all. I’m too uptight and can’t relax, especially in ngihtclubs. Me and dancing can’t be mentioned in the same sentence.
Of all the things I plan to change, the thing that would blow my reality wide open (besides sleeping with a HB10 blonde) would be the miracle of me learning to dance, at least in a ngihtclub. I don't believe a major change is possible for me. A nightclub is not my natural enviroment. I simply feel like a fish on land.
If I where a girl, I would never ever go out with me. I would rate myself as a 2.5/10. I’m risk averse, boring, predictable. I have a low social status in my city and family. They all think I’m a loser. I wounder how it feels like to touch a girl romantically, kiss her and sleep with her?! How does it feel to be loved by a beautiful girl?

Please Help
Author:  donbrasil [ Sun Aug 10, 2014 11:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I'm the worst case scenario, is there hope for me?
Hey I'm also new here, but since I posted just before you I saw your message, read it and thought it the best thing to respond even though I'm not the most experienced person here. It seems to me you think people think of you as a loser because you yourself think that way.

I would try to change this first, even if its in a superficial way (affirmations, supress negativity in your language, etc). Try to take some dancing lessons if you feel that will give you a boost in your confidence, in short try stuff and whatever gives you a bit of confidence, keep doing that, it'll feel rewarding.

I'm a good dancer myself and even though that has been helpful on occasions it doesn't assure you of anything. Try small things and if they make you feel better keep trying them! peace.
Author:  Ardour [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 1:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I'm the worst case scenario, is there hope for me?
the first lesson of attraction is inner-confidence. if you cannot even see yourself in a positive light, how do you expect others to?

learn to love you and others will follow.
Author:  oceanx [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 4:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I'm the worst case scenario, is there hope for me?
At the beginning of each sentence I saw a slew of limiting beliefs and excuses.

First step is to get your mind right and realize that you are a valuable human being with a ton to offer any girl fortunate enough to come into your life.

Go on Youtube and look up some Tony Robbins videos or something similar.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 1:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I'm the worst case scenario, is there hope for me?
Yikes, dude...

Previous posters are correct. It starts with confidence... goes from there.

If you do not believe you are worthy of dating, why would anyone date you? You need to believe it and believe in what you offer.

THEN - (for immediate results... fake it until you make it, but DEFINITELY work on your confidence before anything else)... Get some new clothes... Some jeans that fit, and a few nice button up shirts. Get some decent shoes, and then get a haircut that actually suits you (not at the $5 place down the street either).

Join a gym. It's both a place to get fit and a place to meet other people who are trying to get fit. Will make you feel better about yourself and your body.

Once you've done all that, come back here... Read up on opening, approach anxiety and pickup.

This stuff does work, dude... so don't think you're hopeless. But you do need to put in a certain level of effort. You could be the smoothest pick up in the world, but if you're dressed like a homeless person and haven't shaved in a month, you'll still fail.
Author:  atlaschugged [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 2:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I'm the worst case scenario, is there hope for me?
Start with your physique, its the number one thing you can do overall that also costs next to nothing. The best exercises, pushups, situps, and running are completely free. For a couple dollars you can add curls and pullups. If you can afford to join a gym, that's even better. Just read up on how to build muscle so you don't make the common mistakes. Here is a good guide. http://www.acaloriecounter.com/building-muscle.php

Everything else I understand how difficult it is but at the same time, you don't have much of an excuse. There is more information available, most of it free, on the internet than anytime before in history. Stuff like fashion, body language etc. has been covered ad naseum. It is hard to study this stuff when you are at rock bottom but in reality your only choices are to start trying or to expect more of the same. I wish you the best of luck.
Author:  Danny-Irish [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I'm the worst case scenario, is there hope for me?
Yes there is always hope. ALWAYS.

I suggest, while studying PUA, also pickup some books like "The Secret" and anything by Napoleon Hill to help change your inner mindset.


Good luck!
Author:  J.Daniels [ Mon Aug 11, 2014 11:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I'm the worst case scenario, is there hope for me?
I recently posted a thread similar to this.

Do what I plan to do; take the advice on board, and make it your goal to become the best possible version of you. Make this thread something that you want to come back to in 6 months, 1 year, 2 years and think "Wow, look how negatively I thought of myself... if only I knew it could be this easy. I'd have done it years ago!"

Also we're the same age. Fuck you for saying it's old. ;)

We share a lot of the same problems lol. I'm a college dropout who has NEVER had the guts to dance. Even if I magically turned into the best dancer in the world, I wouldn't have the confidence to do it. It genuinely terrifies me and I don't know why. I wouldn't even have the confidence to take a dance lesson, because it'd involve dancing... so yea, however you master that one, let me know.
Author:  DurandalBlue [ Tue Aug 12, 2014 8:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I'm the worst case scenario, is there hope for me?
1. You don't need to be good looking to attract women. Having said that you should do your best with your appearance. You don't need a whole wardrobe of nice clothes but if you can get 1 or 2 nice outfits that's a good start.

2. You don't need to be wealthy or have high social status to attract women. Having said that still try and find a job.

3. You mentioned all the things you don't like about yourself. What are the things you do like about yourself? Focus on those things and build up your self-esteem. You can't have self-confidence until you have self-esteem first. Write down a list of affirmations. Even if you don't fully believe them at first keep repeating them anyway until they sink into your mind. And Tony Robbins would be the first guy I would read and watch videos of before you start looking into other PUA material. You've got to remove those negative limiting beliefs about yourself. Your thoughts create your reality because they are very powerful. Think positive and smile :) Everything is going to be OK, I promise.

4. Start meditating. Money, looks, power, fame, women, sex will not give you the happiness and peace you seek. Meditation will allow you to feel peaceful and content with life even if you don't have the aforementioned things. Seriously start meditating, PM me if you want to learn how.
Author:  ntg2978 [ Tue Aug 12, 2014 11:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I'm the worst case scenario, is there hope for me?
Great advice from everyone here. On the voice front, that is workable too. I have found that Jonathan Altfeld's program called "Finding Your Irresistable Voice" is top-notch. I have been able to take my voice, which I felt was too soft, to a loud and commanding voice, by practicing a few simple exercises daily, that takes maybe 5-10 mins tops. Just google Jonathan Altfeld Finding Your Irresistible Voice and it will come up with his website.

As for other parts of your post bro, I would say you're trying to do too much at once. Pick an area, and work on it. If it's your confidence, make it priority, and just start THINKING confident thoughts. When an unconfident thought comes up, make it a habit to replace it with a confident one. Soon, this will become a habit, and you will have a little more confidence than you started with. When you start to say that you won't ever get a girl, change it to something like, I wonder what it's like to be with a girl - something that gets your mind working in a positive direction, instead of a negative one.

When you start to be self critical and judgemental of yourself, tell yourself you are going to accept yourself unconditionally (got that from The Manual by W Anton) - which will help you increase your self esteem. Once your inner game is much better, do the smile challenge that was posted for newbies, and watch the dramatic difference a positive attitude can have, and then set a goal and work for it. You'll need skills and advice, and that's what this place is for, right?

Believe me, I speak from experience, as I, too, have been where you are, growing up shelterd and in a strict household. And little by little, I'm learning how to overcome all my limiting beliefs and actions, and replace them with empowering ones. One of the best things about learning how to pickup women is that it is inevitible that as you become more attractive to women, you also become a more healthy man and more secure and rounded in general, because women want a man who is these things. You cannot practice pick up without becoming a much better man as a result, in my opinion.
Author:  devourgeorge [ Fri Aug 22, 2014 4:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I'm the worst case scenario, is there hope for me?
thank you guys for the great advice. I had such a huge smile on my face while reading your advice. It's not so much about the content, but the fact that someone is wlling to help me or believes in me, that makes me happy. I kick-started my life. I want to become the best self I can be. I went jogging for the last few days and I feel happier. I will keep up and, in a year look back at this post I made here and laugh.
Thank you guys, all of you.
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