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| Not sure how I feel about this yet... https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=179908 |
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| Author: | steephill [ Sat May 31, 2014 9:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Not sure how I feel about this yet... |
Hey guys, First, a few things about myself: I am 23, white, 6'4" and thin, but muscled enough to avoid being called scrawny. I'm from Indiana originally, but now live in Denton, Texas. I am going to grad school to study Music (I'm a Trumpet player). That puts me close to the Dallas/Ft Worth Area, as far as hanging out with other puas goes. I am just getting started in the pua scene, and I've been reading "The Game" by Strauss (Style). I was very interested in studying the social dynamics aspect of all of this, and I have been reading a lot of stuff on here. I play trumpet at bars twice a week in Austin right now, which I have found to be a huge DHV point. I have no problem going up in front of a full club and playing jazz tunes and improvising solos. The problem I have is approaching when I haven't been playing in a club. After I have played, I am confident enough to talk to anyone, and every conversation has been great, including a very empowering one where I got a lot of physical attention from a woman whose husband was sitting across the table from me (I can share that story some other time) lol The interesting thing is, I have never had approach anxiety before, and have always been the guy who can talk to anyone. I've never had problems with girls once I get to know them, but I usually only meet people through music venues where my higher value is already established. Reading about openers and game has really kind of messed me up I think, in that I now overanalyze every social situation. That is where I'm at now anyway. If I could start the conversation, I would be great, as I think I would qualify as a Natural except for my approach problem. I have read a lot about getting out of my own head, and I'm not necessarily looking for advice about that, just giving you all a basis for where I am at and introducing myself. I just need to get out and start practicing. Let me know any suggestions on that front. Thank you all in advance! Nice to meet you all! steep |
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| Author: | KOZMO [ Fri Jun 06, 2014 10:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Not sure how I feel about this yet... |
Find a wingman who is more successful then you |
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| Author: | Mastermind9000 [ Sat Jun 07, 2014 12:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Not sure how I feel about this yet... |
Quote: goes.
You may appreciate this musical analogy:Reading about openers and game has really kind of messed me up I think, in that I now overanalyze every social situation. That is where I'm at now anyway. If I could start the conversation, I would be great, as I think I would qualify as a Natural except for my approach problem. steep Take a "Natural" or someone self-taught at music. They can do it, they can have fun, and they can seem pretty skilled. But put them in an into lesson and they face much the same problem as you. They aren't relaxed. They are full of bad habits that need unlearning. They feel it should be easier than it is because they already do it... sort of. Learning PUA is like hitting a reset, starting from square one. And just like in music it takes a long time to get better, better the right way. Doing it the right way can seem difficult, just like a self-taught musician who can play all their favourite songs but their teacher doesn't give a shit and tells them to focus on posture or breathing or unclenching their jaw from concentrating too hard. Approach anxiety comes from you paying attention to things that you ignored in the past. Basics. So relax. Unclench your jaw and take your time. Most of all, enjoy seeing yourself progress, and don't sweat wrong notes, just remember where you keep making them. |
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| Author: | M.E.G.A. [ Sat Jun 07, 2014 1:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Not sure how I feel about this yet... |
What is your ultimate goal? |
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| Author: | oceanx [ Mon Jun 09, 2014 7:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Not sure how I feel about this yet... |
Quote: I just need to get out and start practicing.
Bingo. Hit the streets for day or night game and carry yourself like the boss you are. After all YOU are all the girl wants & needs. Your superb musical ability and everything else is what makes you who you are. Getting the # is not dependent on her knowing you play clubs, although it is a cool thing you could mention if it fits naturally in the convo. Get out of the comfort zone, screw up, make mistakes and you'll improve.
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| Author: | steephill [ Mon Jul 07, 2014 5:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Not sure how I feel about this yet... |
Thank you everyone for the advice! I definitely need to do that Kozmo... Mastermind that was a good analogy, and oceanx that's a good pep talk. : ) Quote: What is your ultimate goal?
I want to be able to make interesting conversation in any situation and just not be awkward. I would like to be able to walk up to either a group or a single person and be able to engage them so that they are having a good time talking to me and I am enjoying talking to them. Then if I feel a connection, having the ability to flirt and escalate into a more serious situation would be an awesome skill to have. For now, I just feel like I am awkward when I want to talk to new people, and I want to work on that.
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| Author: | oceanx [ Tue Jul 08, 2014 8:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Not sure how I feel about this yet... |
Quote: I want to be able to make interesting conversation in any situation and just not be awkward. I would like to be able to walk up to either a group or a single person and be able to engage them so that they are having a good time talking to me and I am enjoying talking to them. Then if I feel a connection, having the ability to flirt and escalate into a more serious situation would be an awesome skill to have. For now, I just feel like I am awkward when I want to talk to new people, and I want to work on that.
Make believe in your mind that you already know the girl you approach. You want her to feel comfortable; relaxed; in the presence of a suave dude; therefore a 'stranger' vibe will destroy any chances at comfort. Playing this little 'trick' on your mind will benefit you and the girl.
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| Author: | steephill [ Thu Jul 10, 2014 3:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Not sure how I feel about this yet... |
Wow oceanx, that's something I've never tried before and I really think it could help! Thank you for that awesome advice! |
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