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| autism https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=169803 |
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| Author: | shreddingcookie [ Thu Oct 10, 2013 10:15 am ] |
| Post subject: | autism |
hello there i am a regular guy from holland, i followed a lot of forums on pua but got one question. i have autism not that it's a real problem i can connect very well with people only my biggest problem is that i can't start a conversation! i hope you guys can give me some tips and tricks (remember with my autism i find this very hard!) greets |
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| Author: | ChitownMaverick [ Fri Oct 11, 2013 5:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: autism |
Opening can be a bit awkward and scary. If your conversational skills are on point, just kind of "stumble" through the opener as a way to get into conversation. I would encourage you to pick one standard, stock opener and use it over and over again. Mine is "Hi." Then I introduce myself, and after the first few awkward sentences, if she likes me, we're in a conversation. It's the best opener there is. |
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| Author: | FemPUA [ Sun Oct 13, 2013 3:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: autism |
Autism causes a difference in the natural social cues. I'm sure you have noticed, you possibly miss breaks in conversations and have difficulty making eye contact. Distraction might be easier for you because of stress (not thinking at all and staring into the distance) or you might get really interested in something you see and stare at it. I don't know how severe your autism is but there are skills you can learn to mitigate your differences to make talking easier. The first skill that has helped many people (not just those with autism) is microexpressions. That weird science on "Lie to Me." If you just want an opener (if you are not sensory hypersensitive) go to a bar and find a girl you like. 1. Tell her that you saw her from a distance and she was truly beautiful and you wanted to offer her a drink, smile big as you say that. 2. Keep a small a smile in your voice as you ask her name. before she answers you 3. Use her name 4. Ask her what drink she wants, buy it 5. Flirt and then ask for her number. If you are sensory hypersensitive... Do something similar in a coffee shop or a book store... someplace quiet but not too quiet. Tell the girl the same thing if she has a drink don't offer one and say you would really like to get to know her. Ask to sit down if she isn't busy if not ask for her number. |
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| Author: | Prometheus2010 [ Sun Oct 13, 2013 8:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: autism |
I'm not autistic, but I am easily distracted and I identified with the distraction thing in that post above. One thing I find helps with the distraction is before I go open a girl I breathe deeply, calm myself, clear my mind, "zone out" for a second, and the go for it. Helps me focus on her body language and the conversation in general instead of being overwhelmed with random information. |
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| Author: | Phoenician [ Mon Oct 14, 2013 1:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: autism |
I have Aspergers syndrome. My problem isn't shyness, it's actually quite the opposite. I can speak to anyone about anything at any moment. Its having that filter and not being TOO aggressive/cocky that's the problem for me. |
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| Author: | FemPUA [ Mon Oct 14, 2013 4:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: autism |
The natural conversation with others with autism really expressed best by Six Principles Of Autistic Interaction by James Williams, an interesting article on the subject. The simple fix for the filter problem is to remember that the other person would much rather hear about themselves, ask questions and allow them to direct the conversation. It is so much easier having a conversation this way than to get good at having a filter. In fact that is the best way to work most beginning conversations. Then when there is a break, if there was something you wanted to say about a subject you thought of because of something she said, say what made you think of this and then talk about that thought. BTW I also have high functioning autism. |
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