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| Newbie NYCer beginning his journey! https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=155408 |
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| Author: | Quiet Magi [ Wed Jan 23, 2013 5:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Newbie NYCer beginning his journey! |
Hi all, I am new to this forum and the community in general, this is a bit long but I figured it was better than a quick "Hi! I'm new!". Feedback is always welcome and thanks guys for making an awesome community! I am a 26 year old graduate student living in NYC. I heard of PUA and read "the game" 4 or 5 years ago and thought "that would be cool" but didnt take any initiative. Several failed relationships later I realized I needed to focus on self improvement. Started going to the gym and hanging out with my friends more. It helped me a bit with my confidence which in turn helped in the female dept. That is, it moved me from a fiery plane crash to a small train wreck but i was still failing pretty miserably. Ultimately a good friend of mine sat me down and basically said i needed to stop being a giant pussy or I wasnt going to get anywhere. At that point I decided to stop half assing things and that being depressed and unconfident wasn't healthy. I have read pick up stuff in the past but it was mostly in passing. Its been about 2 weeks since I have started actively studying. I have pretty bad approach anxiety I have been listening to pick up podcast (1 podcast a day) and reading through A1-3 in Mystery Method. My focus at this point is not seeming nervous in front of women. Things I am currently working on include 1) David Shade's eye contact experiment (if I cant maintain eye contact with a girl there is no point in moving on) 2) Trying to be more upbeat and talkative with everyone (Clerks at stores, coworkers 3) Improving my body language. My goal at this point is basically to learn more about myself and become a more sociable person. I see social skills as something that would not only help me be happier in my love life but a necessary skill in my career path. In terms of love life, I really dont know what I want in a girl. I know traits in girls I have dated in the past that I like and dont like, but if you asked me my type it would be more of an intellectual exercise in what I think I like rather than speaking from experience. Hobbies/passions... hmmm... I read, I go to the gym, I play some video games with my friends, go out with my friends. I am trying to pick up some more social activities but its a bit hard to fit into my schedule (I get off work about 9pm every day), but I am sure I will find a way. Passions is a bit harder to put into words. This is a self discovery journey so I hope to learn more about what I am passionate about. The improvements I have been noticing so far have actually been incredibly surprising to me, particularly as a result of holding eye contact with people, having more confident body language has body language, and having a happier demeanor (not looking like i will kill someone aka my neutral face). This had lead to more people initiating conversation with me (including attractive women which ultimately led me to being a deer in headlights). Once I am more comfortable with what I am currently working on and it becomes more automatic, I aim to work on opening and transitioning into an interesting conversation/banter. My initial focus isnt on number closing or anything. I will get there eventually. First I need to prove to myself I can hold a conversation with a new person without being a nervous wreck and banter with women in a fun way. Again, thanks guys for reading and any feedback is welcome! (and any generous Manhattaners looking to take an AFC under his wing let me know :-p) |
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| Author: | fleetersamuelli [ Fri Jan 25, 2013 7:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Newbie NYCer beginning his journey! |
Hey man, I was in the same position as you two years ago. I had just moved to the city and knew relatively few people. But I have some such a long way since then! I am excited for you, and glad to hear that you have started to focus on self improvement. If I could suggest a pointer that has been most helpful for me- it would focus your energy and effort on building a group of friends. Exactly how you should go about doing that is a complicated subject and beyond the scope of this message, but I have found that if you focus your effort on building durable relationships that can provide you with constant access to not only new people to meet, but also new girls to meet, that your effort is better spent. Eventually you can reach a point where you are being introduced to beautiful girls without spending any effort at all. Cheers and hope your journey goes well |
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