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| broken guy seeking enlightenment in a strange place https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=154550 |
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| Author: | BuildingVanity [ Thu Jan 10, 2013 5:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | broken guy seeking enlightenment in a strange place |
Hello Im 19 from florida and been out of high school for a while. Right after high school i was hit with a massive bout of depression and just didnt know what to do with my life. I spent months as a reclusive and slowly lost all my pals ect. My family sux, so really i didnt have anyone to express my emotions with because everyone didnt want to take the time to understand what i was going through so i was pretty much alone, becoming more and more suicidal day by day. In the past i had many friends and caught the eyes of many girls. But however small it was i had severe depression even back then. Only i didn't know it at the time. No matter how "hot" or "attractive" i thought the girls were and how into me they were. I would just push them away not wanting to bring them down and the fact that i just wasn't in the mood to open myself up to anyone. So of course over the years this ate away at me, i only graduated out of pure luck, i hardly cared for school so i graduated with very poor grades. Now the enlightenment. I started doing all forms of meditation reading self help ect. The meditation made me feel peace at mind for a time but faded like the buzz from cheap weed or whatever. It did help me think positively but it only did so much. And by the way i forgot to mention i developed social anxiety growing up so that became something else i was looking for a cure for. But still back on topic I tried so many things to curve the depression but nothing worked. However I read the game and as strange as it seems. It made me feel different but no, that is not what changed me. I started a band over the summer and my mates wanted to go to the mall to chill. So having nothing to do that day i said wtf and just went. A friend of one of the band members was a huge player and started sarging all over the place and i was just in amazement at his skill. He had no fear in talking to anyone and did so with an empty conscience and by the way it was just me, the vocalist, and the "Alpha". They started pushing me hardcore trying to make me talk to at least one girl and of course the AFC i became made me act like a total bitch. At the end of the day though i wanted to sarge but the mall was closing and i was like oh well. So at the end of the day i felt like shit and decided i would just go home but the next day was amazing. I think it was a combination of the game book, sarging and meditation. but the next day i woke up i was filled with energy and all my social anxiety was released, I just sarged any girl i thought was cute. And my relationships with family and friends exploded. I even got close to a girl i had a crush on in high school but pushed away. But after a while i got tired and lazy and just decided to chill for a week. I lost all my drive to do anything and anxiety took over. That unbelievable burst of positive energy and life arrived and dissipated in a week. Nowadays the only thing that gives me that energy is sarging and getting out talking to strangers ,girls, ect. and so i wish to share experiences with you all and learn on the way. Im DEEPLY into natural game and hooked on sasha and tyler. Im trying to get back into meditation but its hard when you havent for so long. My point here is that i wish to truly live in this world and of the many ways to do it, the game is one of the most satisfying. Im trying to find out what exactly got me into that zen meditative state i was in, in that one week of summer because that was the greatest week of my life. Its strange how the things that your scared of are truly what can make you feel alive |
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