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Good but crappy life, Need some great advice. https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=120923	Page 1 of 2

Author:	Mopet [ Thu Nov 17, 2011 6:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Good but crappy life, Need some great advice.
Hello everyone, As you can obviously notice I'm new here and I need some help. (sorry for the long story) For quite some time I have an issue where I want to make some mayor changes with. Ofcourse it's related to meeting women, and I have been reading a lot of tips and tricks. but I still need some help. Not sure if there are many like me, but I feel quite ashamed by it. I'm 18 years old, I live a decent life. my hobby turned out to be a good way to make money lately and make it as my work. So I don't have any financing problems. I live by myself because of my College inside a house with more housemates. I also have enough friends as I believe. but the problem is.. they are all male. In fact, I never had a girlfriend, I never kissed a girl. Not to mention ever had sex with one. It's not that I look awfull, I have a decent posture, not covered in pustules. and not fat. Also no one ever complained about my breath. I wear my own style of clothing nowadays (most times a colbert) Now I know that looks mean jack to girls als long as your teeth aren't falling out. I also did my best at trying to be cocky and funny when neccesairy. but the mayor problem is. and you guessed it. Approach anxiety... It's even so bad, when I was in a club with a friend of mine (also member on this website but has more succes) he said to me that a certain girl was perfect for me to go to. but my stupid mind created an invissible barier of sweat and shaky hands even before that 3 second rule was active. It's not that I can't talk to girls, I just can't approach them and thereby never try most/all of the tips and tricks found here. I work in a shop at the moment sometimes, I get plenty of girls in front of me that I need to help. and giving advice is no problem. I never choke on words or anything. but that's because I treat her like a customer, and not a girl to be personal with. But whenever I do want to get into a chat with one, I never seem to find the right subject/words to say. only 5 minutes after.. which is too late. Like this evening. I was in the supermarket, and when I proceeded to checkout the cashier (a good looking girl) Said that it's almost evening, and I answered: Cashier: It's almost evening Me: yeah Time flies Cashier: Indeed, a bit fast sometimes in my opinion Me: How long before you are done? Cashier: I have to work untill 19:00 Me: Ah, just an half an hour left, Hang in there. She handed me over the receipt and I wished her some succes for the last half an hour and walked away. What I said is just very plain and casual. Nothing really interesting. So how do I improve myself at being able to be attractive and able to speak to girls in a personal way. I know it's all trial and error, but the barier of my approach anxiety is just too large to say "Just do it" my mind will then ask myself a thousand questions "why do you want to talk to her?" "what are you going to say" "how are you going to say it" "how will she react?" "what if...." BAM 3 seconds passed away..... Any help would be enormously appreciated. I just can't stand the lonelyness of not having a girlfriend or ever had any. I see my friends do fun stuff with them. and everytime I hear about it, it makes me jalous and sad. I sometimes even talk to myself... I know it's pathetic... Regards

Author:	detox75 [ Thu Nov 17, 2011 7:06 pm ]
Post subject:
Dude first of all your 18. Most of us here had no game at that age so being in AFC land isnt a big deal at 18. If you were 35, now you would be fucked. What you need to do is a combination of learning, practice, and doing. Read "The Game" and "How to win friends and influence people, if you haven't, then buy some other PUA material after that to learn the basics of game and being a man. Go out and attempt to pick up woman at night and with your friends using the techniques you learned, and making up your own. Get on the internet and try to find girls there. Make an effort to talk to everyone you come across and be a social and likable guy. Take an acting class and a martial arts class. so you know what to do, you need to start this journey with the small step forward, are you going to man up and do it or wallow in pity?

Author:	Chai [ Thu Nov 17, 2011 7:50 pm ]
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Mopet man, I know EXACTLY how you feel brother...I'm not going to lie dude, you're not the only one who has never been kissed at 18. I'm 21 and never been kissed so already you're doing just a little better than me. As far as that AA is going, I know how you feel man, that feeling deep down inside heart that just doesn't allow you to make that approach, its one of the shittiest feelings in the world... acknowledging to yourself that you're not good enough to go make that approach and talk to her, I've been there, I know what it feels like to feel like a piece of shit. Apart from that, there is that thought in the back of your mind and its panging at you "Go and talk to her! Go and approach her now! GO!! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!? WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?! GO NOW!!!!" I've had that shit so many times you feel like you just want to be swallowed up by the world and never come back because the pain is so bad. AA is plague that diseases everyone entering the community and fortunately for you there is a cure for it...approaching women! How's that for a breakthrough?! To get over that initial fear you will have to approach women in order to get that confidence you desire...it's the only way forward bro and there is no magic pill or a magical subconscious word that can rid you of it...only YOU can rid yourself of AA and that's the beauty of it. In a couple months time you will look back on this moment and think to yourself "wow...was that me? How did I get that way? That's what held me back? Jesus..." I'll show you the easiest technique there is for getting rid of your AA at the end of this post so keep reading! One thing that you must first get out of your head is that, the 3 second rule is bull. It works, but is bull. Think about it, if you walk into a venue or anywhere really where you see a beautiful women, you have 3 seconds to approach. Now, that is an enormous amount of pressure for someone. That means no matter how scared you are and no matter how much that anxiety hurts you inside, you must still approach! It's like a double edged sword. On the one end you are being forced to pushed outside your comfort zone and make that approach. But, on the other end your feeling so overwhelmed with comfortableness that you freak out and you begin thinking of even MORE excuses not to approach because everything is going so fast in those 3 seconds you don't have enough time to calibrate what is going on around you and that is where the 3 second rule fails. As I said, it does work, but only do it when you feel comfortable enough to approach in under 3 seconds. It's not easy... Brother, I understand 150% how you feel of not having a girlfriend, harboring all that loneliness inside your heart because no one is there to talk to you on the phone or comfort you when you're sad. It makes you want to scream and just burst into tears because while all your mates have GF's your alone at night wondering when your's is going to come along and make you happy. I've cried so many times over the years because of the lack of the simple human desire to be touched and to have a girl so beautiful and true be by my side and just enjoy life by my side... It's a pain that only you can take away. If you want to get her...you must first overcome your greatest triumph...yourself. No one can do it for you, you must do it for yourself and only yourself. You have nothing to prove to anyone, not to your friends, not your parents, not god...you prove to only yourself that you know you are capable of pushing past your own boundaries and you won't settle for 2nd best anymore, you want to have what everyone is having but only better. You want that power and that desire...in time it will come, only if you allow it to. This approach anxiety will not be part of you forever, it will only be inside you until you decide that enough is enough. And that starts right now my friend, it starts right now. Now for the simplest and most effective approach you will ever see for ridding this shit called AA. Go watch my video the "Coffee Shop" opener on my youtube link at the bottom and you will see how easy approaching is and can be. If you do those kind of approaches, simple open and eject you will overcome your AA even faster than you think... I made this video for all you guys out there struggling out there. It shows you that something so simple, short and sweet can boost your confidence and it shows you that the girl will in fact NOT bite your head off or scream at you when you approach her,she will instead actually be quite open and friendly to chat to you for a moment. You can even watch both videos if you want but go out there and start with "Coffee Shop" first and focus on that until you feel your confidence boost. It's amazing just how something this simple can be that effective. Trust me man, if you want to take that first step forward, this is the best way to go about it. Short and sweet man. Short, and sweet

Author:	Mopet [ Fri Nov 18, 2011 9:46 am ]
Post subject:
You couldn't describe the way I feel any better. One of the very annoying things is that I get confronted with it every single day. People keep saying to me "one day you'll find the right one..." Damn right I will, but no thanks to good faith nor only luck. A good friend of mine is a perfect example of luck in your life. whatever he desires, he get's it. he doesn't work, but still manages to buy/get the most expensive stuff. So his pocketmoney is my month salary. Also for some reason, he ended up in a class on his high school with a lot of girls and Alpha males. Me on the other hand complete vice versa. and those who got the girls back then were complete jerks so I didn't hang around with them. Nowadays I got that fixed though. But also his girlfriend he had a relation with was provided by friends who had to couple the 2 because of an weird bet. and so goes the story on.. It usualy depressed me looking at him, but since a while I kept living to this quote: "whole life is a game of luck, but a real man creates his own" That's true, Those things I did archieve were all because of my own work and effort. Things, HE didn't had/has @Detox75, It's True I'm just 18, but life goes by faster than a speeding train. and the sooner I start with something, the longer I can enjoy it. Also I'm affraid that on this age It's still exiting to experiment with this while you still have the chance to find a girl who shares the least experience in e.g. sex. when I'm 27 and in the same situation, you can wish me best of luck with finding a girl who never had sex before. And I don't really like a girlfriend who got half the city ridden on her once. Ofcourse I wouldn't mind so bad if she had an good relation before. It's just too bad that my current view of girls is just wrong. In my eyes it's like all girls start with these things on age of 14 or something. And I know it's nonsence, but try to convince a thought that has been in your head for your whole life. Maybe Hollywood and the way I was raised had something to do with it. "never talk to strangers"- yeah that will come in handy when I want to approach a girl. "straring at people is bad"- I read girls like it in a descrete way, well I got teached it's bad.... "tell her that you love her"- screw that, Any hollywood romantic movie features a douchebag saying "I love you", yeah, they never film after the ending of the movie, where the girl says "let's just be friends" "one day she'll come at you"- hell not if you sit behind your desk staring at a monitor. "you are made for this girl"- Onetis... I had it, I thought we were perfect for each other, Turns out I was obsessed and she completely uninterested. Thanks a lot for the feedback! in the meantime I'll be reading around this forum, see what else people have experienced. Still any advice is greatly welcome!

Author:	Mopet [ Sun Nov 20, 2011 1:44 pm ]
Post subject:
Btw, I have another small question. Since I heard a lot of possitive things about the book "the game" by neil strauss I'm considering buy it myself. But when I search for it I find 2 versions: "The game" - a book with a purple cover I know this one from a classmate, it sounds like an interesing one and this one: "The game - Penetrating the secret society of pick up artists" - black cover though they both share the same title exept the subtitle and are from the same author, they differ in price and content, judged by reactions. Which one is the best recommended? maybe both?

Author:	Chai [ Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:46 pm ]
Post subject:
Sorry for the late reply, busy weekend Yeah man that's the thing, so many just have the mindset that they one day their special someone will just fall right into their lap or just bump into them and then the rest will take it's course, that's doesn't happen in reality like it does in the movies. If you sit at home all the time you can prey and hope for the perfect girl to just come knocking at your door but it will never happen. The only way you can get what you want is by going out there and getting it. I wen't out with a mate of mine to a lunch and he said that afterwards he want's to goto this one chicks house that he's been talking to to get some action and hopefully fuck her later that night. Listen to this and try and picture this in your mind. This chick is the ugliest sack of shit on the planet! She has face acne, 3 chins, a protruding belly, hairy arms and legs, frizzy hair, bad teeth and she's close to hitting obesity! No fucking joke. So i asked him "Dude, in all honesty, why would you even want to fuck her or get with her? She's disgusting!" and he answered "I need the action..." That is the lowest point of desperation when you know you cant get any girls and you settle for the very bottom of the barrel. At that moment I felt so sad for him cause that's all he can get and he's accepting it...But it's choice and I want him to learn from his mistakes. If you want to really find 'the one' for you, don't EVER, DON'T EVER settle for second best. Never. As for your friend who seems to have all that good luck, some people have it and some others don't which is the popular wisdom, either your born with it or you aren't. I bet that he made his own luck and he's just learnt to roll with it and see where it takes him. It's like being born with good looks: It's all genetic and just by random chance. Or as Style likes to say "So what you're good looking,you got lucky in the gene pool." It's all chance man, but you can in fact create your own luck, if you work hard at improving yourself and get everything you desire you later won't need that luck cause it will just flow naturally into your life because you decided to allow it to and it manifested to what you want it to be. If you want something, go get it. Period. "The Game" is basically the bible of the community but it's also the very fine and broad stroked guidelines to the underground world of seduction and what it's all about. It's changed and saved my life... I don't know which one your mate in the classroom is talking about cause as far as I know cause I have the blue cover, there are 3 covers, the blue, red and black (not all in one color)but the full title one you want to read is the one that says "Penetrating the secret society of pick up artists" cover if that isn't the hint haha Read that one, you will definitely see life and the way you see women completely differently. I guarantee it.

Author:	SolidFlared [ Sun Nov 20, 2011 4:13 pm ]
Post subject:
Hey, thought I'd drop by and say how I admire your attitude about changing things. A guy better take action sooner than later. I do tend to think however that since we're so young we have the bennefit of starting earlier and thus I suppose its OK to take a more relaxed stance about all this and mostly have fun. Go with the flow as they say. Good luck to your journey.

Author:	detox75 [ Sun Nov 20, 2011 5:56 pm ]
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get whichever one is cheaper, which should be a used copy of the black cover. I buy all my shit at www.half.com

Author:	Mopet [ Mon Nov 21, 2011 12:59 pm ]
Post subject:
I once again appreciate the feedback! I'll see if I can order the book somewhere this week. I have been practising about my AA, Though I can still easly talk to girls when I really forced to talk to them because of something. but when it's just to chat and the get-to-know-each-other talk I don't always seem to come up with something to say. Like yesterday I was in a train, doing some 3D modelling work on my laptop. A good looking girl sat next to me even though the seats opposite of me were empty. Sometimes she watched the progres I made, I noticed that, but what was it that I had to say? I wasn't really getting nervous, I was just not able to figure something to say. a "Hi" to her after 15 minutes she sat next to me would be weird I think. Later on when I was home, and therefore too late again. I figured something to say like "Wonder what it is?" or just saying "hopefully I can finish this in time" (I know the chance of getting a response to that would be 99%) perhaps that could have worked, but like I mentioned, I was late with figuring out. Are there any suggestions of things I can do about it?

Author:	Chai [ Tue Nov 22, 2011 6:34 pm ]
Post subject:
It's good that you've been improving yourself to get that AA out of your system man keep it up! When we're under pressure, regardless of the situation, we have that natural human instinct just to fight and come out alive and see it through in the end. Inherit that fighting spirit and never give up man You'll get there. As for the train part, if you're ever in that situation again use this. If the girl looks over at your laptop say "Sorry to bother you, I noticed you glance at my screen...this is a new upcoming Pixar film me and my friend are presenting soon. My friend worked on Finding Nemo a while ago and I was inspired to create an awesome movie like him! Have you seen any Pixar movies?" From there, you can start building commonalities between each other and discuss different movie tastes and whatnot as the conversation progresses. I'm not so fond of trains so I've never had the benefit of talking to women on them in that space haha. Either way, the one I gave you should give you better success

Author:	Mopet [ Tue Nov 22, 2011 9:39 pm ]
Post subject:
Thanks a lot! I appreciate it. I'll be trying to imagine a few situations that might occur some day. then I can prepare myself of what to say in case it happens. Better think of it before than after. This week I also did something else that improved my confidence quite a bit. It's not really related to girls, but sure will show it's adventage some day I think. Normaly, I was used to always walk after people. if I said "let's go left" but someone else said "let's go right" my suggestion always got completely ignored and I had no choice but to follow after. Now I was sick of it. yesterday I was taking a walk with my housemates. We had the exact same situation as I described above. Luckely I felt this was coming. On our path we could decide to take a right, or to proceed to walk foreward and later on take a right, the route is a bit diffrent, but the length's not, so my suggestion would not be worse than Mr A's suggestion. As I guessed it, Mr A said we could better take the path on the right. Mr B agreed. Me, suggested to proceed walking along the boulevard. and indeed, my suggestion wasn't accepted. in fact, when I tried to backup my suggestion, I got the rude "well then go by yourself" answer. I responded with "OK" and walked the path I wanted to take. Yes I walked alone, but it felt great. better yet, it felt awesome. I once in my life did not accept the no against me. So instead of feeling unwanted, small and belittled knowing I once again did not stood up for myself, I felt an awesome badass feeling. Knowing that for now it will be my way when I feel to.

Author:	puabestmate [ Tue Nov 22, 2011 9:56 pm ]
Post subject:
You should think positive. You are young and don't have financial problems. How many of young people can say the same? IT does not mean to use money to buy girl's affections. It simply means you have one less thing to worry about about free up your time and energy to develop social skills to succeed with women. Now, don't get me wrong, internet is a good place to pickup women for some guys. Buy don't start there. Internet makes you lazy and dependent. It will not help you develop real social skills. Rejection online does not feel as bad as rejection in real life with social pressure (people watch you getting rejected). Getting rejected over and over again is the only way to overcome your insecurities. Also, don't read "the game", or any other books until you do something. it will take you a month to digest even one book. Read it after you tried to some real life sarging for a while. The best way is learn no more than 5 openers and 2 extended routines and go out there and try it right away. Always try to number close or kiss close if you can. Do this for 2 weeks you will feel like a new man. you will learn your weakness and strengths, and then sit down analyze it. post your field reports here, and read books then. ----------------------------------------------------- Never be lost for words when you see one! Always be ready! Anytime Anywhere! PUAbestMate . com

Author:	detox75 [ Tue Nov 22, 2011 10:04 pm ]
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I agree with PUA best mate. You don't need the internet or a bunch of material to start. Your doing great so far. Just have a few openers and continuations in the can, and use the 3-second rule to open everyone you can with whatever is on your mind. Your making great progress!

Author:	Chai [ Wed Nov 23, 2011 7:37 am ]
Post subject:
This has got to be the most contradictory backward thinking bullshit advice I'v read on this forum from a poster, yes puabestmate i'm directing this at you. Quote: Now, don't get me wrong, internet is a good place to pickup women for some guys. Buy don't start there. Internet makes you lazy and dependent. What the fuck is up with that nonsense? That's a total hypocrisy on your part. You're telling someone not to use the internet as a source of information yet you're using it right now? Is that not what we are all on here for, to improve ourselves? I think you need re-evaluate your question. Quote: don't read "the game", or any other books until you do something. it will take you a month to digest even one book. Read it after you tried to some real life sarging for a while. DON'T read THE GAME? Are you fucked in the head? Nearly every guy who has gotten their hands on it that book and read through it thoroughly has sooner or later decided to change the way their current life was and make it better and have evolved into the person they choose to be around women and lead a lifestyle of the PUA or just have that awesome hidden knowledge to interact with women. I read The Game in under a week cause that's how interested and badly I wanted to change myself. The very first answer that the majority of people that give AFC's and newbies on this forum and in life is "Read THE GAME". I don't know if you're trying to be original but I suggest, stop trying to, it's not working in your favor. You mean to tell me that Mopet, that if he mustn't read any books on Alexander Technique (a book on body language, being cocky funny, showing arrogance and being funny and confident around women...also rated as a golden guidebook to correcting the way women and the world perceives you) he must NOT read this book until he sarges? I don't seem to understand your logic. You're telling this guy, who has AA, to not read any books on self-improvement and books with actual techniques on how to interact with women until he has first sarged? How is he supposed to sarge women if he doesn't even know how?? Quote: The best way is learn no more than 5 openers and 2 extended routines and go out there and try it right away. Always try to number close or kiss close if you can. Where do suppose he should get these openers from? THE GAME? Nope, you said he cant read that, even though it has tons of information on how to open correctly and which ones worked best. How about David DeAngelo's ALEXANDER TECHNIQUE? Sorry, you said he cant read any other books until he does something first so that golden book is out the window. You want to deny Mopet educating himself from using tried and tested and effective methods first before going out and sarging? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell that is doomed for failure. Mopet, I wouldn't be writing long detailed posts if I didn't know my shit man, I've done approaches, I've read the game, I've read different shit, watched hours of video and listened to many more hours of pickup podcast and interviews from the greatest PUA's out there and taken away the information that has made them great. EDUCATION is your best weapon! Do not deny yourself to educate yourself if you are given the opportunity to. Take advantage of it and spend time getting that info into your mind so you can be prepared for when the day comes and you can put that knowledge to the test and in that time you will know what to do because you took the time to learn the hidden information that has been underground and in secret from you all these years...and frankly to be told not do learn from it when presented to you in crystal clear form, now that's that's bad advice.

Author:	Mopet [ Wed Nov 23, 2011 8:57 am ]
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Though both advices obviously are in contradictionary, I feel real interested to proceed this discussion as I would like to know a few why's Chai mentioned aswell, as one suggest reading "The game" and another not yet. Ofcourse I really appreciate the help! It's good to know I'm going into the right direction! I'll try to do some approaching this week in case I feel to. I'll keep posting updates here.

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