Meeting a girl for first time.



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PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2012 10:09 pm 
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A HB8 that I only know through FB (mutual friend) texted me and was like "let's hang out this weekend." So far we've just chatted through FB once with her.. no flirting or anything so far. We went to high school together, but never actually met her.

I'm looking for general advice on how to stay clear of the friendzone. Where to take her? What conversations to focus on/stay clear of. Anything!

This is my first post, so I hope to get some kind of decent comments.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2012 10:56 pm 
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First of all welcome copper. Ok so your meeting this girl the for the first time. In your head are millions of questions like. Where should we hang out? Should I physically escalate? How do I avert friend zoning? etc.. You have to understand something before you start asking yourself questions like these. You have to understand that by you trying to answer all these questions and wanting to be fully prepared when you hang out with this girl means you are willing to do limitless things to get this girl to like you. When a guy does this he conveys to a girl that he is needy and is willing to bend backwards just to get a girl to like him. Instead try something new, try to think of it as follows "let me go and see if this girl likes me" instead of "I will make this girl like me". Why would you work for her so much? Maybe she's not your type or maybe she's crazy or maybe you just wont like her. When a girl sees that you aren't doing everything to win her over she realizes you're not needy which is very attractive. This involves setting limits for yourself which in turn builds your reality. When you set limits for yourself for ex: if a girl comes 15 late to a date you don't wait, you start to build your own reality of what's acceptable and what's not. Once you build your reality you start to become more confident. But anyways good luck!

- Amazing Art -

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 10, 2012 11:55 pm 
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AmazingArt is pretty much correct about everything he said, except instead of thinking "let me go and see if this girl likes me," you should be thinking "Let me go and see if I like this girl."

I agree with him that when you think too much about these things it can clog your head and make you more nervous, but I also know that as a beginner, you need SOME kind of guideline to get you started on the right path.

One really good way eliminate that tension that you feel when going on a date with a girl you never met from the internet is to already have inside jokes or role plays going with her.
So, when I'm texting a girl I'm gonna go on a date with, I might say something like "Yeah, look for the guy in shining armor on a white horse. That'll be me. And I expect you to be wearing glass slippers and a ballgown, missy!"

Then, when you guys meet up, you can be like "Uhhhhh, where are your glass slippers?" And joke with her a little about that. Its nothing crazy, but it helps because now you guys already have your own inside jokes that you can go right into as soon as you actually meet her.

As far as staying out of the friend zone, thats REALLY easy. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS HIT ON HER. Simple as that. Tell her shes adorable, then tell her shes sexy, then tell her you're thinking of naughty things to do to her. Its just simple escalation. There's a lot more to escalation and getting sexual, but I want to keep it simple for you right now. Just those three things are enough to get you started.

And of course TOUCH HER! Touch her shoulder when you're talking, touch her knee, touch her thigh. (Yes, it might feel uncomfortable for you at first, but do it anyway and get used to it. Eventually you'll start to do it naturally.)

If you guys are over 21, take her to a few bars and get one drink at each bar.
If you are under 21, take her to get coffee, then to frozen yogurt, then to just chill in a park, whatever. It doesn't matter. Just go to a few different places to keep it interesting.

As far as what type of stuff to talk about, you really just want to get to know each other. Here's why. She needs to know who YOU are before she sleeps with you and she needs to know that you like her and WHY you liker her before she sleeps with you. So, you tell her things about yourself and your life and your family and friends (aka filling in the blank canvas of your life) and you find out about her life and family and friends and compliment her on the things you like that she does (i.e qualifying her). Keep it relatively light. You can get a little deep, but make sure you always balance it out.

Hopefully that helps

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 Post subject: Paying for my date
PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 2:49 am 
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I'm in a pretty similar situation where I am going to be meeting a girl for the first time. We have been talking almost every day for the last week or two and everything is going well, I am not worried about the date going well, but rather should I pay for her. I am going to be taking her to dinner and then to play some mini golf and stuff. Its going to be a pricey night if im paying for both of us. Should I just pay for dinner, just pay for the minigolf, pay for both, or not pay for any of it.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 4:10 am 
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That's pretty good advice! Thank you! I'll keep that in mind and post how it goes sometime next week.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 4:42 pm 
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What you can do when it comes to paying is make no indication that you are going to pay anything. Just do everything as if you expected it to be free and the fact that they ask for money or present a check to you doesn't even effect you. I did this the other night when I went out with my ex on a date. The check came and the waiter put it right in between us, and I just kept talking to her and never reached for the check or my wallet. Eventually she looked down at it and then started rummaging through her purse for a credit card. I would've paid for it, but since she broke out her money on her own, I let her pay half and threw down a twenty.

There's a subtle nuance here that gets overlooked. DON'T tell her you're not paying or that she needs to pay. Don't ask "Who's paying for this?" either. If the woman has a sense of entitlement and has no intention of paying for anything you'll quickly be able to tell by her body language once it comes time to pay. That will at least let you know that you have to pay otherwise be forced to say something that might make you look bad, like "I guess we'll just split it." With some girls you may just have to pay for all of it, but you can use my aforementioned method to at least try to get them to pay and to test them to see if they are willing to. It's also a good feeling to know that they were willing to pay, then you say "No no no!" and slap your credit card down and hand theirs back to them. Then you come out looking good, and you also know that this woman is capable of paying for her own shit, and isn't some "mealer", which is what I call women who date guys to get free meals.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 6:44 pm 
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Very cool, Ill let you guys know how it goes

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Yeah Buddy


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 5:45 am 
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So when the check came, we both stopped talking and it was weird just letting it sitting there so I grabbed it after a few sec. i screwed that up a bit but other than that the date went well, didnt get a k close or anything but she wants to go out again so Im goin to have to push myself next time, it might be tomorrow night

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Evan/Bear
Tucson
eloncay11@gmail.com
Yeah Buddy


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 1:30 pm 
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