So you finally muster up the balls to go up and open a set. You talk for a few minutes, and now you stall—you’re out of things to say! You get anxious thinking you won’t be able to stay in set, to keep the conversation going. Oh Shit!
I’ve compiled a long list of conversation topics so this shitty situation does not happen to you ever again.
Conversation is an art, which we are all constantly striving to master. With practice, being able to maintain the targets interests and sustain a good flow of conversation will come easier and easier.
What makes for a good conversation topic? A good conversation topic must have the following characteristics:
- Open ended
- Creates Higher Value (ideas are shared, information is transferred, something is learned)
- It has a touch of controversy, without being conflicting (you can disagree or agree with what the person is saying, but you can disagree without offending. Stay away from any topic where a person might have a very strong stance about.)
- It is positive in nature; i.e., pleasurable to talk about.
- It allows you to convey personality. (The topic allows you to share, in essence, who you are)
If you follow these characteristics, your conversation topics will be inevitably interesting. An open ended topic creates infinite possibilities for answers and no answer is wrong. It will be interesting because there is a transfer of information and ideas. Your target will learn something new about you, herself, or the world, and this is always interesting. When she answers to anything you say, you can agree or disagree to create a bit of competitiveness, making her want to support her claims, making it a very entertaining conversation. Keeping the theme of the conversation positive with keep her open and enjoying the conversation, increasing the likelihood of her desire to keep on talking—she is enjoying herself! Plus add to this the fact that you can convey your personality makes her feel like the center of attention. She can be herself, and show her true colors!
Now, achieving flow is easy, but tricky at the same time. There are several ways you can move from one topic to the next. You can introduce it coldly, just by changing the subject quickly. You can also find a way to relate the current topic with the next one, and slowly transition to it (oh, speaking of drinks, have you ever tried [drink name] its my favorite!). Also, try not to ask a specific question, interview style, no, no. Instead, introduce it by talking about it from your perspective, as if you asked yourself the question. Your target will naturally share her perspective on it (If I had a million dollars, I would build a huge rollercoaster in my backyard! You can come, but you have to ride way up front with me!).
So here are some conversation topics to get you started. I have compiled general themes, and ten specific examples. You can print this out, keep it for reference. And please, add your own, the bigger we can make this list, the more we all benefit from it.
So in my free time I… I feel like you like to… (Insert weird hobby)
Weird Hobbies (collecting rocks, counting grains of salt, etc)
Talents (cooking, Drawing, Dancing, Instruments, etc)
Genre of movies
The song that makes you feel amazing? Why?
The song that gets you up when you are down
Favorite color to wear
Color of… (car, socks, iPod, laptop)
Brand of… (soft drink, ice cream, computers, etc)
Food (Dessert, Pasta, Candy)
Pets, Animals Etc.
Dog or Cat?
Childhood pets: hamsters, fish, insects in a jar, chia pets
Which animal do you identify with? (insert 3 animals game)
Have you ever eaten (dog, rat, insects, etc)
Scared of any animals?
Would you ever…
Consider doing a dangerous job (lion trainer, roller coaster tester, secret agent, professional thief, etc)
Do a dangerous activity (bungee jump, car racing, sword fight, parachuting, paragliding, etc)
Go camping in a far away forest
Sneak out of your house
Travel to exotic places
Do amazing activities together (go on a hot air balloon, go up Mt. Everest, go on a submarine, etc)
Don’t ask specifically, “what do you do”, instead, introduce it indirectly. For asking about college majors, try and guess based on her personality. As Mystery suggested in his book, this thread is best introduced via a story.
“As a child I always had interest in the stars, when I was 15 I bought my first telescope, when I was 17 I met Einstein, then I went to college and became an Astronomer…)”
Talk about the future (life after graduation)
What do you want to accomplish in life?
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
You own ideal business
What’s appealing about your major/career? Why are you studying this?
Most romantic experience (DHV story about the romantic dinner/trip/evening you gave to an ex-girlfriend)
Weird relationships (with weirdo’s, stalkers, freaks) (DHV story about how you helped out an ex-girlfriend get out of her bad circumstances)
What are the top 3 things you look for in your partner? (find commonalities here)
Would you rather find true love or win the lottery?
Who is flirtier?
Who lies better?
Girls go to the bathroom together, guys go solo.
When girls say “lets just be friends” they really mean it; when guys say it, they just mean they don’t want to pay for dinner anymore, but still want sex.
Why are there so many guy comedians, but no girls? Are guys funnier?
Who dances better?
Who dresses better?
Guys fist fight, girls spread rumors.
Read 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Women for a few more ideas
Love or wealth? (Would you rather find true love or win the lottery?)
If you were a Homeless person, and you find a briefcase with 1 Million dollars, what would you do with it?
If you could buy one thing, anything, what would it be?
Would you rather earn little at a job you really enjoy, or earn lots of money at a job you hate?
Work or do your own business?
What would you do with a million dollars?
I bet you were one of those girls with millions of stuffed animals on your bed!
Favorite childhood animated movie? (Aladdin, Little Mermaid, 101 Dalmatians, etc)
Childhood dream: What did you want to be as a kid when you grew up? Princess? (I wanted to be a robot!)
I bet you were a real pain for your parents when you were a kid!
What was the greatest mischief you did as a kid? (Tell your own story of that time you painted the dog with red paint!)
Favorite toys as a kid
Did you go to Disney?
Were you afraid of the dark?
Countries you have visited (Insert DHV story of your Euro Trip, etc)
Countries you want to visit
Have you gone camping?
Greatest vacation ever
Remember: Always try and introduce your DHV stories as much as you can. The best conversations flow in the form of stories and personal experiences, and they last longer because of this.
Positive Attitude is Key: You must stay calm, and with a conversational attitude. The more you feel conversational, the more you will be and conversation topics with come to you faster and brighter.
* Please, add your own, the bigger we can make this list, the more we all benefit from it.
Most powerful tool we posses as PUA's is our smile.