Whats my problem



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 Post subject: Whats my problem
PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 12:53 am 
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I'm really pissed off at myself now. I'm just back from been out and i should be getting laid.

I was out and I got opened by 2 hb 7 and 1 hb 9. One girl opened me saying "Hey Your gorgeous" and then put her arm around me, i said "hey hands off the merchandise" [ taken frm mystery] then she gave me like a bad look and I didn't really know where to take it.Sitting here in front of the pc I can think of loads of things but then and there my head went blank.she was so fking hot and i fked my chances with her and then similar things happen again with other girls.

My problem is at first girls like me but then I just don't know what to say to keep the convo going.Its weird because sittin here i know what i should say and do but then out in the field its a whole different story.
I can open good just my mid game is shit and i don't know why because i kno what i should do but i always kinda like forget at the moment.

Just seriously pissed off now especially after seen two of the girls leaving with another guy when they should be with me.OHH and just rembering one of the girls who opened me sat beside me and she was goin to kiss me, then my fat fucking ugly friend comes and takes her away by the hand....I'm going to kill the fat fuck tomorrow.

I can make myself look good, i can have the body language of the aplha male but when i have to keep the convo going with a girl i just go blank and don't know what to say but sittin here i can think of 100's of things.I need to sort my inner game out i think, ahh fuk it rant over.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 11:45 am 
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Sounds like you need some inner game and a wingman


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 1:37 pm 
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i'm not entirely sure whether inner game is your issue...
i just think you need more field time and some routines to fall back on in case you hit a blank.
yes, inner game will help with confidence etc but strong inner game isn't going to make you a good conversationalist. that comes with practise.


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 2:02 pm 
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hey dude! you sound like me!

I was invited yesterday night to this bar where there were parties with models. (HB 9 everywhere)

I felt so out of place though. Me and my friend are 19. My friend was DJing for the place and it was crazy how many models we saw walking in yesterday.


My friend (the DJ introduced us to these two girls which sorta broke the ice.) It got a bit weird so me and my friend went to go sit down. I went back to them 5 minutes later with a great opener, there was kino going on with both chicks, my friend then came into the group to help me out.


I was talking to one of the white chicks and in the middle of talking (mid game I suppose it's called I start saying the most random shit.) She sorta blurted out to her friend lets go dance. (Which to me probably meant gossip time or something) They come back 10 minutes later, we talk a bit more and they do the lets go dance thing to each other. (well actually my target said "lets go dance randomly both times")

They didnt come back after like 15-20 minutes and sorta seemed to not notice us anymore, So I guess in my perspective it seems I said something that made this HB7 walk away OR I would say my midgame sucked and it got pretty awkward with some of the stuff I was saying.

Any advice on how to improve midgame a bit guys?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 8:16 pm 
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you guys are just getting into the game, dont worry about not getting instant lays yet...
but 10seconds has the right idea. backup routines are very useful when you're still trying to find your footing.
it'll all come with time but remember to focus on what you're doing and what you're having problems with.

cellerman, sounds like you need to definately work on being more interesting and attractive. did you neg them? dhv? i dont think so...

the first time they said "lets go dance" was probably to give you a hint - they're not that into you.
the second time was effectively blowing you off.

think of a few cool, funny, interesting stories that you can tell. and dont lie.
write them down and take out all the crap that doesn't add value, that way you'll have a powerful story without it being long and boring, which is totally congruent with you. and then learn it off by heart.

try get hold of magic bullets. it'll help you a fair bit and give you some structure to try follow while you're starting out and finding yourself.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:44 pm 
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Quote:
i'm not entirely sure whether inner game is your issue...
i just think you need more field time and some routines to fall back on in case you hit a blank.
yes, inner game will help with confidence etc but strong inner game isn't going to make you a good conversationalist. that comes with practise.
It can be the inner game that is effecting your convo. This as I'm shy and soft spoken but when I'm not shy I'm usually the life of the party and then everything goes like WoW! So it can be so that inner game is effecting your game...


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:57 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
i'm not entirely sure whether inner game is your issue...
i just think you need more field time and some routines to fall back on in case you hit a blank.
yes, inner game will help with confidence etc but strong inner game isn't going to make you a good conversationalist. that comes with practise.
It can be the inner game that is effecting your convo. This as I'm shy and soft spoken but when I'm not shy I'm usually the life of the party and then everything goes like WoW! So it can be so that inner game is effecting your game...
the OP never mentioned anything about being shy and softspoken. he did however mention that he cant think of what to say in field... so i based my opinion on what he told us...
now, assuming that he is shy and softspoken (which is odd seeing as he mentioned that he opens well...) then yes, inner game would be a top priority.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 10:41 pm 
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dude , you have just met a girl that you have never met before you have your whole life to talk about and hers, theres plenty of things, being chatty and not intesresting is bettert than arkwards pause

my problem is thinking things to say whan it comes to dating but when ive opened i can talk forever so im guessing a date will be even harder

plus "hands of merchandise" without a smile and negative body language is probably the reason she pissed off

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Dec 24, 2008 1:46 pm 
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Thanks for the advice lads.

I'm not shy approaching girls, I can confidently approach any girl and open.Mid Game is were i tend to slip up, I think its probably down to as what a few of you said a lack of practice in field.Next time i'm out i'll have back-up routines ready.I have good DHV stories but its also comes down to the way I tell them and the expressions I make which maybe i'm not the best at so i'm working on storytelling SPAM.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 12:50 am 
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dude im exactly the same as you, im very sloppy but i can see myself slowly getting better, i still need more time in the field!

new years resolution: PRACTISE!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 02, 2009 11:12 am 
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2 things: One is more long term and one is more immediate.

1.) Pre-plan a list of fall back conversations for when you can't come up wtih something to say. You should have some pre-planned DHV, Qualifier, and Comfort material. If needs be and your mind goes blank, create a text doc that you can open on your phone that gives you reminders.

2.) You need to realize if you blow an opportunity in a club, it is not ideal, but it is not the end of the world. You should treat the game like a video game. If this happens, its like dying in video game; you shrug it off and start over. You should not let it effect your emotional state. Remember, if you are not having fun you will not progress in the game.

This is one of those realizations where even if you recognize it as true it takes a while to internalize it. Don't worry, the realization will come. In the meantime, if you find yourself getting into a negative state, take a deep breathe, put a smile on your face and think of something pleasant, look around for your next set, and approach.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:09 pm 
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this is not about learning lines and saying them at certain times to girls.

yes, you do need inner game. and you need to figure out your PUA persnality.

Me, im natually a nice guy with girls so ive learnt how to use that in a PUA way and not in my old AFC ways.

it sounds to me that you are trying lines that are not natural. . ..

I use my own lines, when a girl puts her arm around me I always go with "hey, are you after my wallet" and I move a away and touch my pocket, when she says "no" I always say, "oh at last a girl who doesnt want me for my money, so what are you after...."

try and find lines that are natual to you and never use a line you dont have a follow on for. If you build tension, you have to know how to take it away.

good luck.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:21 pm 
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more practice, i have the same problem, no conversations skill
right now im looking over good convo topics
so far i will use if you had anywhere in the world to go or run off to where would you go
i love language geography and history and culture so i think this topic really fits me and looks congruent enough
writing this i just thought up , we all have some good conversation topics that match our personality but we kind of look ahead of ourselves and say we dont know anything good to talk about, how about reflect on yourself and find something you would like to talk to yourself about, aside from your problems, we all have enough of our own of that anyway


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:35 pm 
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Quote:
so far i will use if you had anywhere in the world to go or run off to where would you go
again this line is good but only in the right context. I use this line, if im coming off as a bit of "sports jock" with no arty side. but its not always needed. If I need DHVs, I also use "so which of the guys in here took the least/most time on there own hair" or shop at "wal mart" or "wax there back, sack and crack". Which guys would you set up with your mate, which girl in seems most like you... which girl/guy is the smartest in that group. Which guy over there could you successfully chat up.... use the why? follow on to show that youre not a complete idiot yourself and keep putting her on the spot and having fun.

its the same question just a different topic. pick a topic to reflect which way you want to be seen,

cheers


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 03, 2009 8:40 pm 
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Pebble has a point, as you continue to practice and gain more experience you'll realize that your voice tone and body language are very important. Sure you should have had something ready to add on to that or had some routine but I doubt it was even your fault. Were these girls drunk? If they were, they're probably used to guys being playful when they're buzzed and they thought you were turned off by it.


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