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How to respond when she answers "No" to a question?
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Author:  nrjose27 [ Thu Aug 17, 2017 4:00 pm ]
Post subject:  How to respond when she answers "No" to a question?

So I've already come up with a solid opener and need to transition to a DHV story about how I met my favorite band at a concert for the first time. Great, so all I have to do is say something like, "Oh, by the way...

"Have you heard of xx band?"
"Do you play an instrument?" (I have a guitar signed by xx band, so it would be used as an excuse to bring her back to my place)
"Have you been to any (rock) concerts recently?"

If the girl says "no" to any of these, I feel it would be pointless to talk about me meeting my favorite band if she hasn't heard of them, that she doesn't play an instrument, that she doesn't go to concerts and would rather listen to music on her computer, blahblahblah.

In general, how should I respond to answers where the girl answers "No" to a question?

Author:  nrjose27 [ Fri Aug 18, 2017 9:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to respond when she answers "No" to a question?

Quote:
You'd think if you're old enough to wanna date, you're old enough to have been told "no" at least a few times in your life.
I've been told "no" a couple hundred-thousand times, but the shitty answers i give in response to them aren't the best, and i know i could do better. my opener shows me at my best, but then i go to utter garbage when i transition out of it. like, would the girl even care about what i say if she didn't do x, go see y, or hear about z?
Quote:
Also why the hell are you trying to "respond" to "answers"?
cuz im still socially awkward af and should've sorted this out a long time ago.

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Fri Aug 18, 2017 10:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to respond when she answers "No" to a question?

Quote:
So I've already come up with a solid opener and need to transition to a DHV story about how I met my favorite band at a concert for the first time. Great, so all I have to do is say something like, "Oh, by the way...

"Have you heard of xx band?"
What does this have to do with anything?

You: Hey
Her: Hi
You (with a grin): Thought I'd come say hi since I caught you checking me out.


etc, etc


Quote:
"Do you play an instrument?" (I have a guitar signed by xx band, so it would be used as an excuse to bring her back to my place)
zzzzzzz and creepy! You're the fucking prize, not a signed guitar. Come on man. This is male butler behavior.
Quote:
"Have you been to any (rock) concerts recently?"
What the fuck is this? Are you interviewing her for a rock magazine advertising feedback campaign?

Quote:
If the girl says "no" to any of these, I feel it would be pointless to talk about me meeting my favorite band if she hasn't heard of them, that she doesn't play an instrument, that she doesn't go to concerts and would rather listen to music on her computer, blahblahblah.
I would say no to most women who came up to me and asked me those boring questions. She would have to be STUNNING for me to respond in a positive way.

Quote:
In general, how should I respond to answers where the girl answers "No" to a question?

why ask her any questions?

You: Man, it's been surreal tonight.
Her: Why's that?
You: I keep getting hit on by crazy girls. You're like, number 12 or so.
Her: So you think I'm crazy?
You (with a grin): Maybe in a good way. Yet to be determined.


What do you notice about my exchanges? They are all in the moment.

DHV stories are canned bullshit. A dominant male demonstrates DHV through fitness, clothing, posture, confidence, and playfully teasing (not a fucking court jester, but charming, subtle).

Author:  nrjose27 [ Sat Aug 19, 2017 12:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to respond when she answers "No" to a question?

Quote:
why ask her any questions?
cuz i'm qualifying her to see if she's fun enough to set up a Day 2.
Quote:
What do you notice about my exchanges? They are all in the moment.
It's great that you're in the moment, but i'm socially awkward af in the moment.
Quote:
DHV stories are canned bullshit.
whatever floats your boat, man. for now, i depend on canned material until im comfortable enough to get rid of the training wheels.

Author:  Arch Stanton [ Sat Aug 19, 2017 4:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to respond when she answers "No" to a question?

Okay, all fair points man. You need steps to get through it, makes sense.

But I would advise you against sounding like Buzz Killington with your stories. The reason why Buzz Killington makes everyone groan, is because his stories are horribly out of context and he's not in the moment, which shows a blatant lack of self-awareness.

This is heading into Buzz Killington territory:
Quote:
transition to a DHV story about how I met my favorite band at a concert for the first time

Who is Buzz Killington?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcyiskNIiBI

Author:  ChaseChase1007 [ Tue Aug 22, 2017 10:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to respond when she answers "No" to a question?

The no's are not that big of a deal. You roll with them... Tease a bit

For instance:


Do you play a instrument?
Her: No
Me: (Depending on how hot she is) Here is the neg: You have large hands maybe you should take up the piano.. (say in a cuteful manner though , some chicks would take this seriously, but not if you say it teasing)

Here is the positive: That's okay you look like someone who could have good music taste - What music are you into?

Roll into your conversations even with the NO's. Just don't play into 20 questions...

Honestly this bit I can't see being that great of DHV for you. Does it sound attractive when a girl tells you she met Justin Beiber?? See what I am saying? Either way a conversation is better than none. Roll with the nos into playful shit.

Author:  nrjose27 [ Thu Aug 24, 2017 2:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to respond when she answers "No" to a question?

Quote:
Honestly this bit I can't see being that great of DHV for you. Does it sound attractive when a girl tells you she met Justin Beiber?? See what I am saying?
Huh, i never thought about it that way.

I realized that my SP was transitioning out from the opener and into a normal conversation. I guess from your POV that im DHV too early?

Author:  Massaginator [ Wed Aug 30, 2017 8:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to respond when she answers "No" to a question?

Off the opener, one should not expect a girls to pour their hearts just because you go into a DHV story.

Connect with her experience by making statements about her current reality / moment. Why should she let you any further into her world if you just want to talk about yourself? Show her you have some level understanding or empathy or notion about her present experience that she can talk about. Maybe the statement you made is wrong so she'll correct you. Maybe your partly right and she explain more. Maybe you're completely right and she gets the rare "omg this guy just gets me" feeling and she'll want more. Whichever situation it is she will start talking to you naturally.

What do I mean "Connect with her experience by making statements about her current reality"? Make compound statements about the things like the weather, where she is, what she's up to, what she's wearing, where she's going, what she seems to be feeling, etc.

For example, you could say, "What a hot day today and here we are outside enjoying the fresh air with you wearing this bubbly sundress that just goes so well with your hat. You seem like you're just casually making your way to the bookstore or something like that, am I right?"

By making statements you're not asking her to fill in the blanks and make conversation with you. You're telling her how she is coming off to you. That is a subject chicks cannot resist. You're literally baiting her to explain herself. You're assuming the role of being an authority to her and that is enormously powerful to a woman.

Compound statements like these also give her lots to work with when it comes talking with you.

If she gives you a "no" answer then tease her. In this circumstance, the right tease would be, "Ahhh, you're illiterate. Well we can take of that. I'm confident the bookstore / library has a beginner level reading section that we can start in."

If she doesn't hook into that she's either hopelessly in love with her man (in which case she's terrific and he's a very lucky man), or she's just socially retarded in which case she is not going to be an asset in your life. NEXT!!

But you want DHV stories. Ok. Go live an interesting life. Simple. Do things with social people. Go hiking, go wine tastings, go on trips, go dancing. Organize and host social events. Keep track of free events in your city and go attend them. When you attend these events, be social with everybody. Broaden your social circle, connect with other social circles. Be of value to other people by bringing fun and a healthy vibe. The more interesting you make your life the more value you will be able to talk about to other people because your life will genuinely have more value. You won't need "canned routines" to communicate value: your lifestyle will naturally be value...

... and so will you

Author:  nrjose27 [ Thu Sep 07, 2017 10:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to respond when she answers "No" to a question?

Thanks for this great post, man.

After reading it multiple times, i've realized that there's a lot of material that i need to work on. Other than transitioning out of the opener and into a normal conversation, i also need to work on being empathetic. The topics that we'd discuss aren't really focused on her (or me, for that matter). in fact, the things we do talk about are too fcking logical. it's like you've said:
Quote:
Connect with her experience by making statements about her current reality / moment. Why should she let you any further into her world if you just want to talk about yourself? Show her you have some level understanding or empathy or notion about her present experience that she can talk about. Maybe the statement you made is wrong so she'll correct you. Maybe your partly right and she explain more. Maybe you're completely right and she gets the rare "omg this guy just gets me" feeling and she'll want more. Whichever situation it is she will start talking to you naturally.

What do I mean "Connect with her experience by making statements about her current reality"? Make compound statements about the things like the weather, where she is, what she's up to, what she's wearing, where she's going, what she seems to be feeling, etc.
The more people i open, the quicker i can think on my toes and the more natural my conversations evolve to the point where i start receiving IOIs. Again, thanks for the tip, Massaginator.

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