The in-person encounter has to be solid. Most of your flakes will happen if those are sub-par or mediocre.
However, your in-person encounter can be good, and you can still blow it over text.
Remember, the girl gave you her number. Why? Two reasons. Either she was trying to make you go away, or she was really interested.
Me: Hey, this is Arch.
Her: Hi Arch.
Me: Let's grab a drink at Bar X, 9pm, Tuesday.
Ball is in her court, and I go about my career goals and purpose. If she says no, I get another number, have good initial interaction and do the same.
I do not worry about "blowing it". I do not fear outcome. I'm the prize. They can follow my simple, direct, lead, or I will find someone younger, hotter, and smarter. I don't need to be the court jester over text, or explain myself. I'm a busy guy. But I will gladly meet the woman on a date and give her my time, and be charming/myself face to face.
This is my frame. Simple. Direct. To the point. Get the date, where men have a better chance due to physicality, confidence, and charm.
Here's what most guys do:
Me: Hey Sarah!!!!! this is Arch!! How's your day? Things have been awesome over here. My brother and I made pancakes the size of our head this morning! It was something else! Ever been to the movie theater here??
Her: Hi Arch.
Me: Are you free this week? I'm texting to ask you out 'cause I think you're cute.
. Let me know when you are free?
Now, put yourself in the woman's shoes. and remember, she's a socially valuable 8,9, or 10. She's experienced, hot, and knows her worth. She's also more emotionally intelligent than 95 % of men, and independent. She has numerous orbiters, all of whom act the exact same way. She's looking for a man who oozes confidence, and who leads, and who gets to the point.
Which text scenario conveys that you're a man like Jason Statham, or a hyper frat boy?
I want you to look closely at this reply of hers:
"Her: Oh you're the amazing one huh
This woman has a lot of orbiters. You're just "one" of them.
I'd send this right now:
"It's Netflix and drinks night tomorrow at my place. And I promise, no more cooking references. That's not what I want to do."
that's a ballsy text that is not boring
. women love to see their phone buzz with fun, slightly shocking messages that take them out of the mundane. And it's congruent 100% with what you want. Pure honesty.
If she doesn't appreciate that, enjoy the thrill of sending a text where you do not fear outcome. At all. these kinds of moments are victories, and all part of the fun. This is not serious stuff.
If she asks "and what do you want to do?" say, "90% catch a buzz and get naked, 10% light gardening".