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Screwed up badly! Need Help
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Author:  Danimongol [ Sun Jul 30, 2017 12:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Screwed up badly! Need Help

Dear All,

I was semi-dating this girl for like 3/4 months, although lately she always said we could only be very good friends (but I am divorcing for a couple of months and probably wants me to close this before moving to the next step, very "double-standard" type of girl in any case), but we were SPAM like every hour, seeing each other every day and kissing & playing every date (although no sex). I lied to her about my age in the beguinning (told her 36 instead of my age 39, she's turning 30) . The other day she asked me again for my age, and I decided to tell her the truth, and I apologised for this, said it was very stupid of me, etc. She then turned so mad and said that she wasn't even interested on me as a human being so much time lost on me, blabla (she's the type that gets very moody when she's mad). Now she doesn't want to speak to me and has blocked me from SPAM, etc. Already 3 day since then and no news from her.

What should I do? Should I write her a very sentimental (& honest) email to apologise and as for her forgiveness? what could I say why I lied (apart that it was very stupid)? it was a really stupid lie as my game was very tight, but I felt I needed to come out clean from this time as sooner or later I would get caught. When should I do this? Wait a bit more? see if she will contact me by any chance?

Really need honest and practical help on this. Thanks so much in advance

Author:  anthony_pham123 [ Sun Jul 30, 2017 7:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Screwed up badly! Need Help

Quote:
D

What should I do? Should I write her a very sentimental (& honest) email to apologise and as for her forgiveness?
hate to say, but this will not bring her back.

I think you should ask yourself for what are you apologising: you told her that you were 36, while you are 39. That is absolutely nothing. If she was really into you from the beginning, this small fact should not matter. As you mentioned in your post, she said she wants to be friends and there is no sex. This is strong evidence that she likes you (otherwise she wouldnt spend time with you), but she doesnt see you as a potential (there is no sex)

She gets mad, and you accepted it. To her this means, that you are not a challenge for her anymore.

To be honest, she wasn't sure about her feelings for you. Accepting her tantrums and apologising will not help you. She was looking for a reason to stop with you.

I do sense some oneitis in your message. If she really likes her, she will come back and admits that the 3 yrs extra is not that bad.

Author:  Danimongol [ Sun Jul 30, 2017 9:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Screwed up badly! Need Help

Thanks for much for the reply. You are right in what you say, there is some oneitis on my side and wast too tolerant with her tantrums. I think she really liked me and was trying to wait that i completely divorce before advancing in the relationship , and in the meantime was probably trying to play this double- standad to justify herself, as she is quite manipulative.

One question, so you think that not wanting sex (although kissing me) and on the otehr hand saying she wants to be friends, would be evidence that she likes me?

Author:  leif.lynch [ Tue Aug 01, 2017 3:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Screwed up badly! Need Help

I'm going to have to disagree with anthony_pham123 on something. In my experience, I've found that women are not keen on being lied to, especially from a potential mate. Even though it was a small lie (3 years off your age,) It was still a lie in her eyes. Being you are wanting a relationship from this woman and not a hook-up, that can cause some issues. This being more so if she has dated guys in the past which lied to her.

You stated she gets moody when she is mad, I'm somewhat similar.. If I'm upset about something, leave me alone. I'll cool down, I'll get over it. It's quite possible that three days has been enough for her to get over you 'breaking her trust.' My advice: send her a message being playful and tell her to be ready at a certain time on a certain day. Plan for something fun to do. If she doesn't respond, move on.

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Tue Aug 01, 2017 4:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Screwed up badly! Need Help

Quote:
In my experience, I've found that women are not keen on being lied to,
This line tells me you 'experience' level is not very high.

I say complete bullshit to women all the time with little to no collateral damage.
Quote:
very "double-standard" type of girl in any case
Because she wanted to fuck OP, but you didn't give her any dick?
Quote:
She then turned so mad and said that she wasn't even interested on me as a human being so much time lost on me, blabla (she's the type that gets very moody when she's mad).
So? Who fucking cares. There's six more waiting to take her place.

Make no attempt to contact her for at least a month. Send a flirty text to the very next girl in your phone.

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