Hot women make me doubt myself



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PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2017 10:37 pm 
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Yeah the instagram thing was weird. Unless I guess if you have a good history of commenting on posts. But anyways....chick was not your friend and it sounds like you 2 didn't do anything outside of work situations. And yes you're being neurotic for looking for acceptance from a chick. The way you talk man...it's clear all this is a symptom of a poor dating life. If you had options this chicks acceptance wouldn't matter to you. Fix that
^ This. This woman has already classed you and once you're classed it's like pushing a boulder up a hill to change her categorization.


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PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 1:33 am 
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Yeah the instagram thing was weird. Unless I guess if you have a good history of commenting on posts. But anyways....chick was not your friend and it sounds like you 2 didn't do anything outside of work situations. And yes you're being neurotic for looking for acceptance from a chick. The way you talk man...it's clear all this is a symptom of a poor dating life. If you had options this chicks acceptance wouldn't matter to you. Fix that
How is the Ig thing weird? we are Ig friends....and she was SHARING it on IG, it's not like it was in her diary. All I did was noticing something a friend did lol. Tryign to "play it cool" like you didnt see anything is lame. Not caring, acting like you dont care isn't "cool" anymore. Its just a block from engaging in real connections with people.

Claiming you know I have a poor dating life is a joke - you're making an assumption based on reading what someone on the internet says? Yikes, I can only imagine the ego you've got. You may be slaying bitches, but you're quite a ways a way from a real relationship. Peace BRAH


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PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 1:34 am 
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You can't be authentic if you're emotionally un-centered, or women will run from you. You have to change and improve.
My point exactly.


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PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 1:36 am 
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Yeah the instagram thing was weird. Unless I guess if you have a good history of commenting on posts. But anyways....chick was not your friend and it sounds like you 2 didn't do anything outside of work situations. And yes you're being neurotic for looking for acceptance from a chick. The way you talk man...it's clear all this is a symptom of a poor dating life. If you had options this chicks acceptance wouldn't matter to you. Fix that
^ This. This woman has already classed you and once you're classed it's like pushing a boulder up a hill to change her categorization.
Classed? Please bruh, the fact that you even mentioned this makes you look insecure af. How are you a leader?


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PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 7:56 am 
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Yeah the instagram thing was weird. Unless I guess if you have a good history of commenting on posts. But anyways....chick was not your friend and it sounds like you 2 didn't do anything outside of work situations. And yes you're being neurotic for looking for acceptance from a chick. The way you talk man...it's clear all this is a symptom of a poor dating life. If you had options this chicks acceptance wouldn't matter to you. Fix that
How is the Ig thing weird? we are Ig friends....and she was SHARING it on IG, it's not like it was in her diary. All I did was noticing something a friend did lol. Tryign to "play it cool" like you didnt see anything is lame. Not caring, acting like you dont care isn't "cool" anymore. Its just a block from engaging in real connections with people.
When a chick is cold to you at work...then you message her and she's not engaging...then you invite her out and she brings someone else..then you mention something you saw on her social media..yes thats weird. Look man, its fine to be different, but dont be delusional. It looks like you were trying to engage her again and made an excuse. Maybe its a coincidence, but you gotta be honest with how it looks.
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Claiming you know I have a poor dating life is a joke - you're making an assumption based on reading what someone on the internet says? Yikes, I can only imagine the ego you've got. You may be slaying bitches, but you're quite a ways a way from a real relationship. Peace BRAH
Ummm...how am I supposed to make assumptions if not from what I read? And I said directly why I made that assumption; because you're seriously need acceptance from a girl at work. Even if she were your ex gf of 2 years, if you accepted yourself and had women who did as well, you wont be distressed over one chick and whether she thinks you're weird or not. To the point where you're feeling pain?! Whatever you may say about my ego...Im not feeling pain if some chick doesnt like me. From almost a year ago. So my ego is not like yours where a chicks opinion will send me spiralling. And talking about authentic? Come on...you're pretending like this is some friend you lost where its just you trying to make her your gf. You're completely inauthentic and insecure and yes, neurotic. You cant say you're not when you're in pain over a chick who you never even had a romantic relationship with.

If you're so authentic, fine...go confront HER, not dudes online who havent wronged you as you think she has.


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PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 10:37 am 
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Yeah the instagram thing was weird. Unless I guess if you have a good history of commenting on posts. But anyways....chick was not your friend and it sounds like you 2 didn't do anything outside of work situations. And yes you're being neurotic for looking for acceptance from a chick. The way you talk man...it's clear all this is a symptom of a poor dating life. If you had options this chicks acceptance wouldn't matter to you. Fix that
How is the Ig thing weird? we are Ig friends....and she was SHARING it on IG, it's not like it was in her diary. All I did was noticing something a friend did lol. Tryign to "play it cool" like you didnt see anything is lame. Not caring, acting like you dont care isn't "cool" anymore. Its just a block from engaging in real connections with people.
When a chick is cold to you at work...then you message her and she's not engaging...then you invite her out and she brings someone else..then you mention something you saw on her social media..yes thats weird. Look man, its fine to be different, but dont be delusional. It looks like you were trying to engage her again and made an excuse. Maybe its a coincidence, but you gotta be honest with how it looks.
Quote:
Claiming you know I have a poor dating life is a joke - you're making an assumption based on reading what someone on the internet says? Yikes, I can only imagine the ego you've got. You may be slaying bitches, but you're quite a ways a way from a real relationship. Peace BRAH
Ummm...how am I supposed to make assumptions if not from what I read? And I said directly why I made that assumption; because you're seriously need acceptance from a girl at work. Even if she were your ex gf of 2 years, if you accepted yourself and had women who did as well, you wont be distressed over one chick and whether she thinks you're weird or not. To the point where you're feeling pain?! Whatever you may say about my ego...Im not feeling pain if some chick doesnt like me. From almost a year ago. So my ego is not like yours where a chicks opinion will send me spiralling. And talking about authentic? Come on...you're pretending like this is some friend you lost where its just you trying to make her your gf. You're completely inauthentic and insecure and yes, neurotic. You cant say you're not when you're in pain over a chick who you never even had a romantic relationship with.

If you're so authentic, fine...go confront HER, not dudes online who havent wronged you as you think she has.
Why would I confront her? That's pretty neurotic if you ask me.

But you're right bro. I do feel pain. Can't help that at least I don't act neurotic towards her. If you read what I wrote I disengaged after being treated coldly. Confronting her would just be insane.


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PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 10:53 am 
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Hi. I worked for this company as a consultant for 1.5 years. This girl who worked FT at the company sat next to me was stuck up, high-maintenance, narrow-minded, beautiful, sexy and witty girl. For the first few months I hated her because she was just mean to me. She always had something to say about what I was doing, eating, etc. One thing that always irritated me was when she said "You're so weird" in a disgusted, not playful way about my extremely healthy heating habits, the fact that I would eat two lunches, that I didn't drink during the week, and that I went to the same bars on the weekend. It always made me second guess myself, doubt myself, make me feel like I was doing something wrong.


Her: You're so weird.
You: I love it.

Love yourself, or no one else will.

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The following week she posted something on Instagram about her in a cryotherapy tank as a spa SPAM. I had genuinely been interested in doing that as well (I'm a health nut) and asked her about it in person the following day. She made me feel so uncomfortable when I asked her about it...like i was crazy and super weird for asking about it.

It was weird.

Instead of acting like a dominant male and asking her out for drinks during the evening, you cyber stalked her, then mentioned a detail of her life. If a girl did this to me, Id be creeped out too. It shows over-investment and neediness. And these point to a potentially emotionally-uncentered man.



Quote:
Looks like a power struggle, or some internal strife she has with herself...when I gave her attention earlier in the week, she wanted NONE of it. she treated me like I was scum, and then when I retreated for a few days, she approached me. I really don't understand or appreciate this behavior from her. I want to make it known, but I also don't want to make a thing of it.

You're acting neurotic, bro. You have never even TOUCHED this woman. She has done nothing for you, EVER. You aren't in a relationship. You are nothing more than work acquaintances. She owes you nothing....nothing at all.

Go out and meet other women. Hit the gym. Engage in hobbies you are passionate about.

So basically it does not matter what I said or what happened. If I love myself and accept myself already, her thinking I am weird should not matter at all. Well that's something I can adopt without changing who I am as a person despite having neurotic thoughts.


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PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 6:11 pm 
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So basically it does not matter what I said or what happened. If I love myself and accept myself already, her thinking I am weird should not matter at all. Well that's something I can adopt without changing who I am as a person despite having neurotic thoughts.

Yes.


I've had girls call me "weird" before (especially in my more awkward 20's). I'd just say "I'm good with that." Or "the weirder the better".

Normally I could walk away from those women. But your situation is different, you unfortunately have to keep seeing this annoying woman.

Be proud of yourself, and see your quirks for what they are: uniqueness.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 04, 2017 1:47 pm 
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You will get some solid answers here, no doubt, but I have one thing to address to you my friend and it is this...based on what I read, this girl hates herself or something about herself. She is lacking something that she finds significant. Maybe she wakes up depressed. Maybe she doesn't like her appearance personally. Maybe she feels inadequate in some way. Why do I figure this? Because you seem like a nice guy and there is nothing you have said that makes me think you are being anything other than yourself. You seem to be yourself in front of her and towards her, however awkward or shy, etc that may be. She had no interest in you from the beginning, then, via a group chat with another person, she starts to see more of you and something you said or did start to tap into her. She found a level of trust and interest towards you. You spend all this time together because you fulfilled something that she couldn't find fulfilment for anywhere else. Maybe she tries to be the cool, hot chick but really is the same as you, and you let her be that. I don't know what the trigger was or what the interest was but you did something for her. This is why she attached herself to you as she did.

Then you left and no talking? This would have destroyed her. You said she contacted you saying end of an era and how she enjoyed the time, etc. She wanted you to assure her the friendship was not over. She sent out these lines to get you to bite back. Yet, if you stopped talking, you became just another guy who "doesn't really connect with her". If...

Now you are back there and want to try again? Be yourself. It worked the first time. It will work again. Just, now, you need to subtlely show her that you won't be abandoning her again. This is where her inner fear, with you, would lie.

Don't worry that she invites people out with you. This is how she discovered the real you in the first place. Don't be pushy or annoying. Be cool. Be chill. Be yourself. Smile at her when you cross paths but not more. Sometimes chuck in a hey. Randomly and occassionally, ask her "coffee soon? Sweet!" And keep walking llike you are busy. If you get her alone, make it god awful deep and meaningful and about her.

In an office environment, I behaved like this to a woman to woo her. All she wanted at first was to be office friends. I eventually became polite and warm, but also too busy for her, throwing quick lines like I just said. Does she like chocolate? Or something? Walk past her and throw her a mini chocolate bar, and be like "sugar hit!!!" and walk off. Be cool.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 5:44 am 
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This sounds more like an interpersonal work relationship issue rather than pickup. It sounds like she was probably just teasing you and being flirty, but not actually sexually interested. Then she could tell you wanted more and so she backed off. A lot of hot girls will string guys along like that, sometimes not even realizing how or why they are doing it. So don't bother trying to figure her out.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 05, 2017 10:20 am 
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OP do you want to fuck this girl?

Because if you do, you need to stop complicating all that is simple. What the hell are you talking about being "accepted"? Does your self assurance rely on the opinion of others? Because if so, that's an issue.

I don't care about your habits and honestly neither does she, as long as you don't make a big deal out of it, like Arch said.

You're just acting out of insecurity and seem to be wanting her to take the male role, as was said already.

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