Connected about 4 months ago, She’s a regular, long text-er, always showing interest, always takes my calls and agrees to everything I plan (i’ve been leading.) HB8, cute as hell. Lots of guy mates, and very active social life, long-time single, not much past relationship experience.
Sounds like a socially valuable woman.
- Connected via mutual friends
- Casual first date followed by coffee the following day
Translation: The forced coffee date was a side-effect of failing to escalate on the first date.
- I initiate an official, dinner-date one evening - Chemistry, KINO but no close
Friends don't let friends do dinner dates. It's too much, too soon. Meet for a drink.
Is this the second date, and no kiss????
- Next date, couldn’t have gone better: Chemistry, heavy KINO and kiss-close. Stayed over but no sex
What the fuck? Yes, it most certainly could've gone better. when a woman stays over, escalate. Act like you have a dick, or you'll get friend-zoned.
- Date the following day, playful, lots of chemistry, k-close
No such thing as a "K-close".
- Next date less kino, barely k-close, failed to escalate
Dude, you've been failing to escalate this entire time.
- Bumped into randomly, was with her friend, introduced me and was basically showing me off, despite being short,
lots of kino and a good ‘vibe’ all around.
None of this matters.
- Next date, same as previous date, less kino but she opened up a lot which was refreshing…
Welcome to the friend-zone. You're now her therapist instead of her lover.
Playing this back it seems there was a peak in chemistry for a couple of dates, and despite staying at hers, my attempts both then and now are failing to close and escalate into more. My initial thoughts:
ONE: I’ve missed my windows to make it BLATANTLY obvious that i’m into her, however I find this hard to believe since I’m not sure I could of done more without coming across needy
All the freaking dates you've been on, and all the CONTACT without actual sex is needy, NOT escalating on the first date and being congruent with your desires.
Being honest with a woman on the first date, escalating to sex, making her orgasm, and then not talking to her for a few days = mysterious and hot.
Contacting her everyday, making friend date after friend date and refusing to be congruent with your desires = needy as hell.
TWO: She now has other options / guys on the go and is now getting most of her ‘attention’ from other sources - but continues to agree to meet me, and texts me (?)
Of course she has options. Any attractive woman does. She will meet and date men until she finds a dominant male who understands sex.
THREE: I’ve been nudged into some weird region between casually dating and friend zone, despite agreeing to me taking her away a day/night (this might explain the former?)
You're in the friend-zone.
FOUR: I either stop putting effort into this
That's exactly what you do. Right now you have a nice guy pleaser mentality, and it's kryptonite to women.
I won't be investing more time unless there is a significant shift: What would you do next?
I'd meet other women.
This day and age, 8,9's,10's are thirsty for dominant males who display passion. There is a huge, huge pool of flabby, wishy-washy, video game couchers who have no fucking clue what to do with women.
This is why "bad boys" (IE, men who just go for what they want, and are honest) sleep with women on the first date. And the more women you sleep with, the better you get in bed, and the more direct and to the point you become without fear of outcome.
always remember that lack of action conveys lack of confidence. Too many dates, too much contact, too much talking. not enough flirting and passion.