Vibe vs words



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 Post subject: Re: Vibe vs words
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2017 5:25 am 
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Thanks Arch. Ive read about Assume Attraction dozens of times but have never fully understood. I understand it influences our state and what you put out to the girl. So is it, literally, convince oneself that a women is attracted to you? Sure....so, how does that look in practice?
It's an expectation that women will like you. It manifests as confidence and as a person who is actually attractive and well received by women. Ever notice how guys with bad game or no game do not act as though the women will like them? They have this demeanor of "If I do this will you like me now?" and that just comes across as needy and weak.

When you assume attraction you don't second guess yourself. You just keep acting as if she really likes you and don't get hung up even if you encounter some resistance. I've actually done this unintentionally with women where I apparently had made a mistake and offended them in some way. But I didn't realize it and just continued to act normal and run game and eventually it smoothed itself out. If you get in your head and start thinking "she doesn't seem to like me now", then you'll start asking her what's wrong and she'll tell you, then she gets all emotional and starts venting and dwelling on it and the rest is downhill from there.

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 Post subject: Re: Vibe vs words
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2017 2:15 pm 
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Cool, I get it.

A part that kind of drives me nuts....

With me, (unless I went in direct opener). A conversation/date often starts out "neutral" in terms of "revealing" liking for one another. My way of "revealing" gradually is either with a compliment, tongue in cheek joke based on convo, exaggerated funny compliment, or sort of funny sexual compliment. As time moves on, I may get more serious but I usually wrap all my compliments or sexual comments with some humor.

Im just never sure when is the right to start throwing in these reveals. The way my brain works right now is that I have to keep it cool initially, assume I do have to build up some value to her through the convo, qualify, and look out for IOIs. Is this correct? Wrong?


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 Post subject: Re: Vibe vs words
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2017 11:51 pm 
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Cool, I get it.
I'm just never sure when is the right time to start throwing in these reveals. The way my brain works right now is that I have to keep it cool initially, assume I do have to build up some value to her through the convo, qualify, and look out for IOIs. Is this correct? Wrong?
That's not really the right way to look at it. You're not building up to this "big reveal" moment where you tell her you think she is beautiful and she then knows you like her sexually.

At the beginning of your date you'll do all the normal stuff: DHV, qualify, push/pull, etc. Throughout that time you are conveying that she likes your stories and thinks you're cool. You do this by laughing at your own stories or laughing along with her when she laughs and you basically play everything up for effect. You can say "Wow, you're a lot of fun!" Instill this sense of you two having a good time together and you being this cool dude that she likes.

However, you will ultimately be aiming to escalate shortly thereafter. Once you built rapport, start physically escalating. The ioi's are not something you need to look for. If she gives them, great, but you'll ASSUME you have the greenlight anyway. If you notice an iod, then recalibrate. But the point is you can just assume attraction and escalate and not worry about ioi's or iod's as you might not get either by the time you plant a kiss on her and start making out.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn


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 Post subject: Re: Vibe vs words
PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2017 3:03 am 
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Thanks puaninja, massively helpful,. Honestly i have behaved the way you layed out BUT inconsistenly and not being aware enough of what's going on. Ive been a surfer who has not quite learned the patterns of the waves. You are laying it out clearly and generally. I have the improv chops, its the more instinctive people skills that have been more of a challenge

The process you described eluded me completely for years until i came across pua world. But obviously i have plateu'd in a mix of good new and bad old habits. Also, i have had pretty much zero pua wing opportunities.

Anyway...to add a relevant follow up question...please bare w me. The assume part i still dont get it. I get I don't want to assume negatively nor wait for a big clear signal....does assume attarction basically mean, dont worry much what shes thinking?


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 Post subject: Re: Vibe vs words
PostPosted: Wed May 24, 2017 3:16 am 
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Anyway...to add a relevant follow up question regarding kissing...do you yourself just go for kiss unnanounced? I usually ask if they are good kissers and that works well pretty much always.
That's not what I do. Not saying it doesn't work, but that's not how I do it.

I don't typically go for kisses first. I escalate through hand touching, caressing, hugging and holding. Obviously, once you are doing that stuff with her you both know the kiss is inevitable, and that actually adds to the sexual tension and excitement. I put a little distance between us, then seductively tell her to come here. She knows the kiss is coming at that point. Then you do it, and its never just a peck. Maybe at first, but it should almost always turn into a makeout session.

Now keep in mind that is what I do for girls on actual dates, not random street game. You can cold open a girl and within a few minutes ask if she is a good kisser and k-close that way too.

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“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!” ~Audrey Hepburn


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 Post subject: Re: Vibe vs words
PostPosted: Sun May 28, 2017 10:29 pm 
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This is clearly where I need to work on. Definitely since I have learned PUA stuff, I have gotten 200% times better by being aware of all this stuff we are discussing here and using my gradual/casual kino. However, without my gradual kino, I dont think I would get anywhere. So for example, on dates where there is no choice but to sit across the table its much harder for me.
I am with you there bro! Same problems here :/


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