Dancing Monkey To Cool



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 Post subject: Dancing Monkey To Cool
PostPosted: Tue May 09, 2017 10:57 pm 
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So, I think I have some ways to go in PUA skills but im better off than when I didnt know any PUA stuff.

I see consistent sticking points, some, the source is inner game and how it affects how I present myself, vibe, personality, personal tranquility, and the verbal riffing which is not my issue; im pretty funny off the cuff and its very helpful, specially when I pair it with smooth gradual kino.

But humor can quickly = dancing monkey. Humor lone wont do it. Gotta play it "cool?" to some degree always? Chics do it all the time I think.

I have difficulty sitting in a cool calm collected position for a long time. Im not jumping around but I move a bit in my seat. Im animated but I think that may telegraph too much effort. But that is partially how I generate my own high energy.

I do great 2 stools at a bar bc the kino is easy, its usually a date.

But outside of that, I struggle bringing kino bc girls may get creeped out. I just think its harder say at a Starbucks.

At dates, somehow the date context brings a built in reason to talk.

Random day game, I guess you gotta be more direct.

Thoughts on my thoughts anyone? ;)

thanks


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PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2017 1:57 am 
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Well a few things you need to understand.

You need Tension and while I want a girl to trust me and be comfortable I also understand Tension is how we get laid. If a girl is tense around you this is a form of arousal, perhaps not sexual but arousal none the less. Tension is how you get a woman wet, this means stop laughing, stop the jokes, say crazy shit and KEEP the tension, don't laugh, don't act like you're kidding. You are letting all the tension go when you be dancing monkey and try and keep her comfortable, tension is key. So stop trying to be the funny guy you only need that at first, after that... you need to make things tense.

So you saying "I don't want to be creepy" means you need to step it up. Risk being creepy, it doesn't mean be a creeper it means the whole "2 steps forward 1 step back." is a good policy for calibrating your skills. 60 years of challenge called it "risk creepy" you need to go for it, escalate, women need tension to be aroused, you need to provide that tension.

You learn more from making mistakes than from doing nothing at all. You learn by fucking up and doing it wrong several times then being like omg I hope I don't hurt her feelings or make her feel awkward. So don't error on the side of caution error on the side of trying. Trying to get laid by escalating, by saying the wrong shit.

I feel it's better to push and fuck it up then do nothing and hope you get lucky. As time goes on you'll be able to calibrate what she wants and what she is into, but you'll learn nothing by doing nothing.

Lastly don't lose who you are, and your energy level shouldn't be nothing your energy level should be higher than theirs, that doesn't mean your motions are. Be you... be the best you that you can be, just know when to turn up the tension and escalate. Keep yourself and just add some tools, some skills... that's all.

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PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2017 4:52 am 
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Whatever the girls at Starbucks say, whether its related to your opener or not, you need to be able to expand a conversation out of that response. If you have to pop another random question, or say some other random ass observational thing, it just makes you look like you are grasping for conversation and it comes off disingenuous and creepy. But if you sound like you know what you are talking about then it makes you seem interesting.

Relatively shortly into your interaction you should bring up a reason to show her some pictures on your phone. Always have some pictures that are interesting so no matter what the conversation is, you can relate it back to those pictures and have a reason to show her. This ALSO gives you a reason to sit next to her. So you pop a squat first, then say "You mind if I sit here?" It's rhetorical because you already sat down, but the token gesture of asking her permission makes it seem like you are not just being rude and invading her personal space. (Remember, you only ask a woman questions when it doesn't actually require an answer.)

From there kino is easy. You are already right up on her so you can say something about her bracelet or watch or fingernails and touch her hand. Who knows, she says something funny or whimsical, you then hug her reall hard and say "I love this girl, you're so much fun!" But you gotta have that high energy level to pull all that off. It has to be upbeat. If you do that deep voice manly man showing intent and being all rico suave thing, then it's not congruent to start being playful and handsy with her. I guess its all about your gaming style and congruency, however, you should be able to do kino with a cold approached customer in a Starbucks if you do it right.

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PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2017 2:07 pm 
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You have no idea how useful and on point your answers are, thank you. I appreciate your encouragement to fuck up more in order to learn. I do do that but not enough and I think I keep screwing up with the same bad tactics. I need to screw up with new things.

During a date:

@poetic, agree 100% about tension and know what you are talking about. I honestly would appreciate some examples of tension tactics if you can share? I think that I dont have enough. All I know is:

-At some point, go quiet, disengage focused attention, look away, let silence set in....make her ask questions or what not. I dont do this enough.

-Gradual playful/casual kino (I already do that).

-Dial down jokes.

Thats all I got, and i need more ideas.


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PostPosted: Wed May 10, 2017 10:16 pm 
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Quote:
You have no idea how useful and on point your answers are, thank you. I appreciate your encouragement to fuck up more in order to learn. I do do that but not enough and I think I keep screwing up with the same bad tactics. I need to screw up with new things.

During a date:

@poetic, agree 100% about tension and know what you are talking about. I honestly would appreciate some examples of tension tactics if you can share? I think that I dont have enough. All I know is:

-At some point, go quiet, disengage focused attention, look away, let silence set in....make her ask questions or what not. I dont do this enough.

-Gradual playful/casual kino (I already do that).

-Dial down jokes.

Thats all I got, and i need more ideas.
Well it's less gradual and more intimate... it's you putting your hand on their lower back. Showing your the man and leading with your body language too. Not like aggressively simply subtly, something my dance lessons have taught me lately, they have to subtly but assertively feel the tension you create when you lead.

Don't be afraid to add some more soft, noticeable nice touch where they know it's on purpose and can feel it, but it feels good for them. It's like a 2-5 second lingering light bout obvious touch, the time of it not being instantly gone lets them know that you are doing it on purpose a little more than a graze.

As far as what you say, that's more you saying it how it is... when you notice she is pretty into you and you are able to see she is reflecting a bit of interest be direct with your escalation, move closer to her get quieter... and whisper how sexy you find her in her ear. Just let it hang... let her feel how sexy you find her.

The key is for you to be authentic, sexual, masculine, and genuine with your intentions. You create positive emotional tension with a woman by saying it how it is, and avoiding diplomacy. I once whispered into a girl's ear "I just want to fuck the shit out of you." The next day she was texting me all day and saying I can't wait to see you tonight bla bla bla... when she seen me that night she goes that was echoing in my head all day long. I couldn't wait to see you.

Before I knew anything I did better with women because of a few things I started just telling girls how it was when "it was on" when you just know they are into you... you flip the script and go for it.... the thing is sometimes you're going to be wrong and that's fine learn from it go again but it doesn't mean stop escalating it means get better at recognizing when "it's on".

I had one girl I was dancing with on the dance floor, and she was a friend super into me. I pulled on her hips and whispered into her ear "You're so fucking sexy." Then nothing then a few moments later I said "I want you" then later I said "Let's go" and pulled her by the hand as we left and she was all about it, she only asked who's home.

It's about you basically being you as you as you can possible be, about you simply going for it and not being afraid to, about just going for it and letting the tension build from a nice touch on her ass to a pulling her hips, to kissing her neck...

When I know that it's on I just go for it, just go for the kiss, just start grabbing her ass, no holds bar on what I do... it's just all passion and lets go. Of course I don't do it on a dance floor, I normally just say let's go. That's it. No more words.

Tension is about you saying pretty aggressive sexually stuff and then letting it be.

"So sexy... you are." With a smirk
"oh my, naught thoughts." Smirk
"Can't help my thoughts around you." Smirk

It's pretty simple short concise sexual remarks.

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PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2017 2:38 am 
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great stuff @poetic. I think then Im not as far off as I thought I was but what you recommend is very concrete and easy to keep in mind.

Any suggestions on creating tension based on a conversational topic? Sex? How do you talk about sex?

Im often not sure if to throw in some quick subtle funny compliments in the comfort zone (you look nice, nice legs there, you smell good) and move on to next subject right away.....? thoughts on this?


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PostPosted: Thu May 11, 2017 7:04 am 
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Quote:
So, I think I have some ways to go in PUA skills but im better off than when I didnt know any PUA stuff.

I see consistent sticking points, some, the source is inner game and how it affects how I present myself, vibe, personality, personal tranquility, and the verbal riffing which is not my issue; im pretty funny off the cuff and its very helpful, specially when I pair it with smooth gradual kino.

But humor can quickly = dancing monkey. Humor lone wont do it. Gotta play it "cool?" to some degree always? Chics do it all the time I think.

I have difficulty sitting in a cool calm collected position for a long time. Im not jumping around but I move a bit in my seat. Im animated but I think that may telegraph too much effort. But that is partially how I generate my own high energy.

I do great 2 stools at a bar bc the kino is easy, its usually a date.

But outside of that, I struggle bringing kino bc girls may get creeped out. I just think its harder say at a Starbucks.

At dates, somehow the date context brings a built in reason to talk.

Random day game, I guess you gotta be more direct.

Thoughts on my thoughts anyone? ;)

thanks
I agree with mostly everything that you are saying, especially when too much humor becomes "dancing clownish". I'm a natural at self-amusement, and i was a dancing clown pua in the beginning of my pua career. If you've ever watched "How to pick up girls?" videos on youtube (not the actual legit pua ones, but i'm talking about the prank ones :? ). That's very similar to how i was in my first 2 years in pickup. LOL


But later on, i balanced it out with "sexual intent", being more relaxed in my interactions with girls (just being more physically still & mentally/emotionally grounded), making statements of empathy (being more understanding of her situation & being more relatable to the girl) and listening to them more (talking way less)..which actually gets them investing into you more, as opposed to the other way around.


As far as kino (touching & getting physical with girls) goes..i think the proper way to use it (How to know if you're doing it right) is if it seems like it's mechanical, then you know that you're doing it wrong. Your kino on girls should be "gradual" and not "sudden". Your kino should also be an expression or really an extension of your own personality. It should seem like that is just how you express yourself with women. In other words..your kino should appear natural.


One way to do this, is to use the "kino escalation ladder" if you are familiar with that. If you're not, here's the link to it's full definition (http://www.pualingo.com/2011/02/15/kino ... on-ladder/). For daygame, read my 10 steps "Sexual Escalation Process - From Approach To Lay" on page 2. Here's the link to that (field-reports/self-improvement-blog-vt201629-15.html). For night game, if you are in a bar or club (similar to daygame), you start off with shaking her hand (on the intoduction)->high fives->hugs->and finally..dancing with her. Don't go for this kiss close after the hug LOL, if she's a "Yes Girl" then maybe you can. But preferably i would dance with her first, because dancing is actually a lesser commitment (lesser compliance) for the girl, than her engaging into a kiss or makeout with you. Usually dancing with her, will loosen the girl up for the kiss or makeout with you anyway. So that's very important for you to know.


And i want to break down dancing with girls a little bit further, because there's some simple mistakes that you can make when kino-ing girls on the dance floor.


#1 - If you're dancing with the girl..make sure that you close the space/distance between you and her. Your pelvic area (crotch area) should be rubbing up against her pelvic area..or rubbing up against her ass if you are dancing behind her. One of her legs should be between both of your legs when you and her are dancing face-to-face to one another, while one or both of your hands are holding onto her lower back or on her hips - pretty much looking like you and her are bumping & grinding on the dance floor. From a 3rd person's perspective..that's how it should look like (your outer game, dancing with girls on the dance floor). This is the right way to do it.


#2 - Smile, laugh, and "self-amuse" while you're dancing with the girl (It Helps Alot!). Faking it, even if you are not already having fun dancing with her (because maybe you are nervous, in your own head, or out-of-state) will actually change your physiology (your movement will get more loose and less stiff) and your mental/emotional state (your state level) will increase as you're dancing with the girl. This should take care of your inner game issues that you might've been experiencing before you got into your groove. And if you are familiar with the "Law of State Transference"..your positive non-verbals & sub-communications will infect the girl that you're dancing with, which she will become more attracted to you instantly, and she will want to keep dancing with you, probably even for the remainder of the night until closing time (which can lead you to a pull - just hold onto her hand, and walk with her out of the bar or club at closing time)..even if that wasn't the case with this girl earlier on in the night. This is real shit, I tell no lies here.


Alot of the times, the reason why us guys get AMOGed by other dudes on the dance floor is because we make these same simple mistakes, that we can easily correct. Doing the opposite of what i said to do in #1 & #2..Not closing the distance between you and the girl while the two of you are dancing..or not looking like you're having a blast dancing with her..can and will definitely attract AMOGs in your direction. Because they will see that, and will try to take your girl away from you. In other words..you have to "commit" and "look good" while you're performing your kino on her (look assertive in your kino dancing with girls, even if your natural personality is passive and not assertive. RSD Ozzy talks about this alot in his students infield videos) to make the girl want to stay with you, and to deter thirsty AMOGs who are lurking on the dance floor..looking to peel girls off of guys who look like they don't know what they are doing. Trust me..i had to learn #1 & #2 the hard way. :oops: Lol


-G

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