First of all, sorry if I'm in the wrong place. I'm new here and this seemed like the most relevant place. Anyway, first a bit about me. I'm a 26 y/o American who's been living in Taiwan for over 3 years now. It's a bit of a paradise here girl-wise. On top of being on a not-so-diverse island where being a foreigner is considered exotic, I enjoy a few advantages here: fluent in Mandarin Chinese, playing in a somewhat popular band, and being moderately good looking. Therefore, I've never had problems getting girls here before; until this happened....
So a couple weeks back I was walking through a nightmarket with a buddy when a girl working a stand caught my eye like never before, *time slowed down, cue angels singing, gust of air blowing only her hair, bright light surrounding her, etc*. I've never been so captured by a girl at first sight. I go to talk to her, make up a story about having to buy gift for my sister at her stand (hitting on Taiwanese girl directly without a reason is cultural no no here), flirt a little, and get her Line (Taiwanese for phone number). I message her a couple days later and after a week get no reply, so I think that's a swing and a miss, bummer. Then, she suddenly replies. We chat all night and I make a connection with her that can be very hard to do with girls here due to cultural differences and whatnot. We go from small talk to flirting to deeper stuff, all is well. Then she drops the bombshell..."I actually have a boyfriend." My first reaction is disappointment and irritation, but then I decided to play it cool and see where this goes. I said it was ok and agreed that we could be friends.
I've never tried to steal away another guy's girl before, that's just bad form right? But I've never felt like this before and I feel that I need to at least try. The way I see it, I should have a good chance because...
- She's never had foreign friends or bf before and doesn't know English. Not every Taiwanese girl is into us pasty foreigners but many are a bit curious.
- She showed interest and flirted. After I found out she has a bf and asked "well will your bf mind about us going out?" she replied "he doesn't live in the city we live in hahaha". So yeah, that seems a bit promising.
- As I just mentioned her bf lives out of town. So I have plenty of opportunity to capitalize on his absence.
It's strange, factoring in the boyfriend factor I feel completely out of my element. I feel like my normal instincts when it comes to girls are thrown out the window. I simply don't know what to do and need some advice. Western girls and Eastern girls and they way they think can be like they're a different species but any help is appreciated. Normally I play it cool and mysterious keeping my distance but I feel like this one is different since she already has a bf. So, some questions....
1 - How often should I message her? I don't want to seem to eager but also don't what to seem disinterested.
2 - I do have a date lined up for this Saturday. Should I take her somewhere more romantic or normal?
3 - How quickly should I try to escalate things and flirt?? Slow and steady or act fast?
4 - Should I try to paint her bf in a negative light?
5 - How do play the friend role while warming her up to the idea of tossing her bf out in favor of me?
6 - Any ways to subtly make her fall in love with me?
So what do you guys think? I'm determined to make this girl mine (not just get laid) and am open to any and all advice! Please helllp! thanks