What to expect



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 Post subject: What to expect
PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2016 7:28 am 
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This is a long one that I'd like to condense.

Knew a girl from work two years ago. I was into her and my game was high at the time. Had a few girls on the regular but ended up dating one of them long term. Now that has ended recently.

The girl I knew from work would always text me about her vibrator, invite me over for wine, whatever. Obviously DTF at the time. Can't remember why, but everytime I didn't pursue it. Might have always had another girl scheduled for the night and didn't give her priority.

So two years later my ex and I split. Few days later she adds me on Facebook. I haven't seen or heard from her for the last two years. In my rebound state I may or may not have come off strong and chatted her up on messenger and gave her a number in case she visits town. She moved.

So turns out she has a boyfriend. Made sense why she was kind of cold. However, she was posting obviously passive aggressive memes and stuff talking about being appreciated and all types of stuff, probably taking stabs at her boyfriend. Hits me up, says she's coming to town, we should get drinks. We talk and we subtlely flirt, alluding to physically touching and hooking up through talking about working out together and teaching each other different exercises. Left the conversation with a sexual afterglow.

Next day she texts me saying she can't make it and next time we should hike. So a retraction from drinks. I don't mind and say sure, I'll bring my snow suit, referring to the fact that it's going to snow soon and there will be no hiking. Leave her alone. Yesterday she texts me again, and says she has some vegan thing to go to in town and that she wants drinks after. I say sure, I know a place that serves wine, Whatever. I know she is either testing me or she is flip flopping on feeling guilty about her boyfriend and maybe had unresolved sexual feelings for me.

This all took place in the last week. Anyways, what's next? I'm seeing her tomorrow night. What's the read on the motive of hers and what should be my next move?


Last edited by methodology on Fri Sep 09, 2016 8:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: What to expect
PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2016 7:50 am 
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Use paragraphs bro.

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 Post subject: Re: What to expect
PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2016 2:18 pm 
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Anyways, what's next?
Maintain a sexual frame. Isolate. Make a move.

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 Post subject: Re: What to expect
PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2016 3:08 pm 
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I wouldn't seem desperate with anything, she is the one that added you. Even though you guys disconnected for a couple years, it is pretty apparent she keeps up with you and probably facebook stalks you a lot (Coincidence she adds you right after a breakup???)

Most likely, you were her first choice, but since you distanced yourself from her, she had no choice but to move on and she found her current boyfriend. So, she is likely internally conflicted.. My guess is she has strong feelings for you, but guilt because she is dating someone else. I wouldn't be surprised if she looks at her current boyfriend like a burden, now that you are showing interest.

I say just act naturally, there is something about your attitude and personality she obviously finds desirable, otherwise she wouldn't have even contacted you wanting to meet up. Don't be pushy, try to find a middle line between expressing your desire for her, but also not caring enough to display any desperation.

She is the one coming to you, so the ball is in your court. Just keep up the flirting and meeting up to do whatever, and there's no doubt that over time, she will be crazy for you.

EDIT: An extremely easy way to find out how she feels about you is to find out what she tells her current boyfriend about you. Does he know you two are meeting up? If she keeps you a secret, her emotions and intentions are very obvious, because it means she views you as something she needs to hide.


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 Post subject: Re: What to expect
PostPosted: Fri Sep 09, 2016 11:20 pm 
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Update:

I got off work to read this text.

Her:
It's Friday!!! *thumbs up* I'm going to be leaving town way before 9 tonight. I have to work in the a.m. I'll deff text u when I plan on coming up in the next few months.

Me:
So what time should we meet or what does this mean? *I was confused*

Her:
Lol....Well I kind of assumed u were busy until late tonight. But yea if u can I say 6 be a lot better for me.

Me:
When are you here next?

Her:
I should be up the end of next month. I have a car appointment.

Me:
Geez. Do I really have to wait that long?
Are you coming to a Halloween party too?

Her:
Lol you can come down and see me. I was excited to hangout tonight but I forgot I have to work in the a.m.

Me:
Come down and see you in your city?
Or where are you referring to when you say come see you?

Her:
Yeah if you want to!

***********
Okay, so today I found out I am having my hours cut so mind the fact that I was pretty straight forward and I'm also considering not even seeing her in this mood, or wanting to spend money.

What I can already tell is that clearly I'd be staying with her if I drove down since it's a good 4-5 hour drive one way. Coming to see her there makes me question the boyfriend thing too. Particularly, why am I going where she's more well known and what does this mean? I dont know. Maybe there isn't a boyfriend and she just has some weird thing going on to keep guys from hitting on her? I can't know the answer.

I'm not really feeling this. Whats the best next move?


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 Post subject: Re: What to expect
PostPosted: Sat Sep 10, 2016 3:30 am 
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Alright I went out anyways despite being in a mental funk.

Things started off alright. Was sat at a table for food that was like two feet by two feet in the corner so we were essentially forced into close quarters and touching. This is good as long as I owned it. We had a lot in common conversation wise but through her nervousness it was hard to tell how it was going and the awkwardness of the table kept me from much physical escalation but I touched on important notes. Like I said, wasn't sure what she was thinking or feeling but the conversation was good. She left for the bathroom while I snatched the check. Convenient timing, by the way. She then came out and said she enjoys my presence and that she had a good time and that she wants to hang out next weekend but I come see her. She wants to go camping and then go get drunk at a bar right by the tent. Obviously setting us up for a wild night. This was reassuring. She also doesn't have a boyfriend but more or less I know she does but he is "controlling" and she is staying in it for now. So she's taken but she considers herself single but unable to break up with him from what I am hearing. She also had a long rant about not wanting to date, working on herself, and I agreed since I'm fresh from a relationship and want to focus on myself. That means no strong commitments just casual stuff. We were on the same page for most of it. At the end, I walked her to her car, and she paused after the hug. Left me open for a kiss. I didn't go in for it because even though the opportunity was there, I was both rusty and I wasn't sure it was the right move. In retrospect I would have gone in for something more sexual but I didn't. Next weekend though. Making plans as we speak. Sounds like it's a sealed deal.


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 Post subject: Re: What to expect
PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 12:58 pm 
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She wants to go camping and then go get drunk at a bar right by the tent.
=DTF

Just do that, and put all the overthinking aside.

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 Post subject: Re: What to expect
PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 7:22 pm 
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Okay so here's the progression so far. Couldn't get off work this weekend to go camping. Also I'm going on a super exclusive nature park trip that is pretty much like winning the lottery. Had to break it to her that I can't make it this weekend and the following weekend is my birthday. So she asks if I want her to come down for my birthday and I ask if she'd come out if I do since she was saying she doesn't really drink. She says yes, ands she says she will buy me a lap dance. Then I say the strippers aren't any good in town and she then says she will give me one....with a "jk". Then we started talking about Las Vegas and other places and I was mostly day dreaming I hope she didn't think I was investing in our future because I have a place there and I regularly visit. Anyways, so she's dropping all kinds of hints like she's been working on her butt to make it tight and that I'll get to see. So on and on. She's going to wear a sexy dress for my birthday. Lots of sexual stuff. I think it's a much better deal because I don't have to drive ten hours ha! Now the last two nights she's been falling asleep and not replying to the texts. I'm starting to feel both uninterested because I feel like I've won and also that We are beginning to text too much and this is becoming too familiar. I like the mystery. One other dilemma is the weekend she is here I can't take her back to my place. Any suggestions on a smooth transition elsewhere? Clearly she won't have her own place either. I have two weeks to figure it out


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 Post subject: Re: What to expect
PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 7:33 pm 
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Just stay in at her's on your birthday dumb dumb. A made with lust dinner with a private lap dance, from a girl that's doing everything in her power to fuck you.

You'll be fucking by nine o'clock. 'Course I can't tell you what you'll be doing at 9:01. Maybe texting a buddy to tell him you got lucky.

How much easier could it be?

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 Post subject: Re: What to expect
PostPosted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 8:38 pm 
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Haha thanks Heywood. I am always smoking a cigarette and kicking her out a minute later. The problem is that she lives in a different city and she is visiting my city. There isn't a place of hers to stay at.


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 Post subject: Re: What to expect
PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2016 7:38 am 
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Quote:
Left me open for a kiss. I didn't go in for it because even though the opportunity was there, I was both rusty and I wasn't sure it was the right move. In retrospect I would have gone in for something more sexual but I didn't. Next weekend though. Making plans as we speak. Sounds like it's a sealed deal.
Good thing that she apparently really wants to fuck you, otherwise this would've been the end of the road.

Stop freezing when it's time to pull the trigger dammit.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.


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 Post subject: Re: What to expect
PostPosted: Tue Sep 13, 2016 1:54 pm 
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She's obviously showing you that she is attracted to you and that she wants to rip your clothes off, while you are overthinking every next step. While she daydreaming about swallowing your unborn offspring.

Set up the logistics. That's your job, not hers. LEAD!

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 Post subject: Re: What to expect
PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2016 7:43 pm 
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Alright guys, this girl....

Today I texted her asking which day she's planned to come down. She replies "Friday". I ask if she has work Sunday, essentially asking how many days she's in town, and she says "no silly."

I don't reply for about five minutes, and she hits back with "and I totally forgot I won't make it. I have a few things here to attend next weekend."

Then I replied and she said "sorry, already committed."

Of course I'm thinking...didn't you commit to this a week ago? But I didn't verbalize that.

Then I made a joke about knowing where her loyalty lies and she replied with "To my ladies ;) ttyl going in to the college."

Now, this girl has been flip-flopping non-stop. First on our original meet up like three times and now this. Everytime I don't care though, she ends up following through with the original plan but with some tweaks. Is she playing some kind of game? It's obvious she is, but I don't really think this is worth the hassle. It's just one less thing I have to plan out in my life.


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 Post subject: Re: What to expect
PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2016 8:01 pm 
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It could be you are not extracting enough interest. Or in fact she could be nervous about doing the deed with you.

Is she currently your only option?

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


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 Post subject: Re: What to expect
PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2016 8:36 pm 
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Yeah currently she's the only one I have lined up. I didn't text her yesterday because I didn't want to make a habit of it and I started to feel like it was losing both of our interests. I know once I secured this girl I should have worked on the next but I haven't been meeting new girls lately.

I think you're on the mark. She's seeing if I am overly invested with pulling back constantly, de-escalating, and it's possible that it was "too easy" for her too and she purposefully blocked this opportunity because the challenge wasn't there. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I think spelling out that we would have sex could have lowered interest, even though she was the most forward about it, and that she doesn't want to have sex and me move on, so she's cancelling to make it a challenge, and that she might think I was going to chase her since she is seeing if I am desperate, but I'm not, even without other options. However we were texting a lot so maybe she thought I was overly interested for a short stint until I pulled back yesterday.


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