May have dodged the friendzone? What to do next?



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PostPosted: Sun Jun 05, 2016 7:46 am 
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Ran into a complicated situation today...

Some things about me: - I've been into game, lurked on this and other forums for quite some time, lost my virginity, but nothing special in game. I'm pretty smart when it comes to sending witty text messages and handling frames, but I took a break from game after ending a relationship. I'm trying to get back into it, but I feel like I'm making some mistakes. -

So it's summer and I wanted to hang out with some girls.
I met this girl at school, she's a 7 with a good personality. I used the end of school vibe to open her and get her number, went direct:

"I want to go to ##### to see if you are as awesome as you say"
and we've been planning a date next thursday for the past few days over text. She sent me a text pretty early today asking about more details about the date. I responded in the afternoon. Perhaps I should have ended it there with the facts, but we started a text convo, which took a turn somewhere and she ended up telling me she had been rejected over text, once. At first tried to avoid this subject, but then went back to not appear as a complete douche. First mistake I think.

-The conversation is long- (//comments preceded by //)
Maybe I should have called, but we were both busy and couldn't call.
Me: I didn't mean to make you think of a breakup
7: it wasn't a real break up, but to me it was bad.
-it's okay
//thought a while about how to continue
me: I get it
//this next text gave me a bad feeling when I sent it. I really need to think before I send sometimes
- even if it's not real it becomes part of you, and I'm interested in that
//I got this flood of shit feeling... But I dug in and decided to go with it to try to win a frame. Besides, I hadn't told her this at all before
7: I hope I didn't give you the wrong idea about the movies, this break up thing happened last week. Its still early for me...
//this was an attempt at friend zoning, but I didn't see it at the time, had a different mind set and took it as "I still want to go with you, hope you're not scared off"
me: noooo wayyyy
-well just bring your best self and I'll bring mine :wink:
7:We are just going as friends right? I really don't mean to hurt your feelings! //SHIT
//I responded fast and apathetically, trying to DHV
me: I was under the wrong idea then
7: I'm sorry :(
//I thought about this for a minute
me: lemme think about this for a minute
//trying to turn this around, I thought: what do I have going for me? I don't know her enough to be friends and I haven't done anything too needy yet. I tried to show that I understood her situation, typing:
-so I can't ask you to forget about the other guy so soon
-or the breakup
-and so understand if that's where you are right now
7: <some bullshit> we can be friends and get to know each other, but its still an awkward place for me right now :P
//now I tried to establish a frame
me: but I also don't want to be the guy that you're falling back on
7: and you won't be! I would never do that to anyone
me: I believe you
-I'm not looking for friends, that's where I am
7: do you still want to go to ######? :(
//took this as a sign of interest, maybe that it was working
me: yes
//waited a moment
-but not in a category
7: category?
me: I think the word friend is a category
-it's a lot to ask
7: okay, I understand
//I took this as a sign that I was in control again, wanted to strengthen frame
me: we might end up friends, and I'm sure we'll be good friends if that's how it ends up //DHV?
-but I'd rather not close off anything
-can I ask that? //trying to get her to invest
7: yep! :) there's always a chance
me: I'm glad you're optimistic like me :wink:
7: thats something I definitely am //qualifying herself
-a half full person
//thought this was cute and teased her to lighten the topic
me: that's a pessimistic way to express your optimism :wink:
7: Haha! I guess it was :lol:
//bringing it back, thinking of avoiding a frame of selling my self
me: so that's where I am, and understand I haven't "chosen" already because that wouldn't be wise
-you told me you were "that awesome"
7: I'm sorry that Im in that awkward lingering place
me: I mean you have until Thursday to decide
-just no last minute changes because that... ohhh man...
//I majorly fucked up.... Should have just gone with, "yeah, I get it" maybe
7: You want me to decide by thursday if we can be more than friends?!
//SHITTT PLAY IT OFF
me: haha totally
7: I didnt catch that before
//agree then cancel, agree then cancel I'm telling myself
me: no I don't, no not really
-that's counterproductive
7: okay you freak me out
//shit. I was actually most nervous at this point
me: dont get the idea that I'm forcing you to do anything please //just sorta threw this out there
7: I don't feel that way :)
//I calmed down and tried to step back and defer
me: I mean, this IS kinda freaky
7: Yeah...so much for keeping it light over text :D
me: yeah right?
-it was necessary or I would have had the wrong idea
7: yeah, it's better now then on thursday
me: I probably should have been a little more direct
//now forward
-but eh
//she started to become apologetic to me, I tried to connect
7: naw, its my fault for not understanding
me: I've been in that awkward in between state before, I get it
7: it happened three weeks ago, ai should be over it by now...but //wtf, first it was "once", then last week, now 3 weeks?!
//away from asking frame and trying to connect
me: don't try to force yourself out
-I mean I consider myself still in that place
-just a little //detached
7: Yeah, I'll be okay in time //good? time to attack
me: so you want to try to break out with me? //this may have been bad wording
-is what I'm asking //this may have been bad wording too, I think this weakened my frame
7: Haha! now your mr optimistic
-break out? :lol: //shit test?
//I figured she didn't understand
me: break out yeah
7: is that your special english //definitely a shit test, which is good, right?
me: I mean you can say no
7: is it like "go out"? //I see an opportunity
-I need to learn (My name) English
//tried to agree and amplify
me: it's a Canadian dialect //I'm canadian
-I meant break out of "that place" but sure
-you can take me out :wink: //taking opportunity
7: remember I'm from ######
-Oh! Haha :lol: :lol:
-Well, I didn't know! //I misread this as "I don't know," I really was tired. either way she didn't answer
me: but now you have to pay for popcorn :lol:
-the roles are reversed
7: what? noooooooooo
me: I don't know either
-are you that awesome? //a form of yes ladder
7: always (dancing emoji)
me: hmmm
-are you usually in a good mood?
7: always (dancing emoji)
me: ooh "always"
7: yep (balloon)
me: I feel like I'm at the same place as you, do you ever take risks? //this was worded poorly
//7 took a while to respond
7: I don't like getting in trouble, so you could say Im a goody-to-shoes
-but Im always up for an adventure! //this was good
me: oh boy, I'm no good for you, you'll get in to trouble at one point with me
7: you rebel //I think this was another shit test
me: adventurous I like though
7: always (dancing emoji)
//away from selling frame
me: all I have is my personality and a good time
7: Im sure that not all! //what is this, translated Chinese? but this was good
me: I don't like to sell my self, I like people to figure it out
7: I try not to talk about my self a lot, did I?
me: it's fine because I was asking :P
//I was trying to decide how to continue, and then
7: So we are still on for the ####, Thursday at ##?
me: I mean you've given me such a hard time...
7: Im a terrible person! 3x(crying emoji) //so we were flirting again here...
me: jk :lol: it sounds like an adventure :wink:
7: yay! (winking face)
me: I'm happy about this //tried to get an emotional response
7: me too! :) (blushing happy face)
I stopped texting to go have a nap.
This girl replies fast! I was caught up in it; maybe I should have slowed down, but at the time I thought it might hurt my image. So, is this good for me? What should I do next? Should I go out with her on Thursday? Thanks, will update.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2016 6:31 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2016 5:03 am
Posts: 16
Yesterday, 7 sent me a text asking to hang out earlier because of something she had to do later. I decided to freeze out because she sent the text at 10pm. Today I sent a text telling her the closest I could get to that was 11:15. She seemed on board and said she was glad it would give us more time. We started to text about other things, but I learned from my last conversation and tried to keep this one focused on the date.
She sent me another text after that:
7: I assume we are meeting at #####?
and I followed:
me: yes where else? :wink:
7:idk, I am weird
//I thought she might have wanted to chill somewhere else before so I sent a text that assumed it
me: I'm up to hang out somewhere before, sounds cool
7: We'll have hand time before ######
//yeah, "hand" time. probably a typo, didn't go for this because we haven't talked sexually in person
//The next text confused me.
7: But I dont want to go anywhere else
//Is this bad? Perhaps she was just denying my assumption
//I didn't REALLY want to go anywhere else before, so I sent this and ended the conversation
me: sure thing :wink: looking forwards to it
7: Me too! :lol: :D

My bad feeling from before is gone, but now it feels like she is trying to gain more control.
Is this true?
Was the text "But I dont want to go anywhere else" bad for me?
What should I do next in either case?


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2016 10:22 pm 
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You have to shorten this and clean it up bro.

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