Flaking or shit-test?



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 Post subject: Flaking or shit-test?
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 11:01 am 
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Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2014 8:28 pm
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Hi there,

I'm a bit of a late-bloomer and fairly new to the whole seduction game as I've focused really hard on all other aspects of my life the last few years. Because of this I'm a bit unsure whether the girl I'm chatting to is flaking on me or is just testing, and could use your input on the matter. I don't want to come over as needy (I'm not, got plenty of shit going on in life), but I also don't want to mess up this opportunity if all it needed was a little extra push.

Here's the situation:

I had noticed a certain girl at a few of the raves I frequent; the kind that stops you dead in your tracks and you'll remember for days even though you didn't talk to her. The third time I saw her at a rave, she casually joined our (large) circle of friends sitting down; turns out we have a communal friend. That night I caught her looking at me a bunch of times, but I had literally gotten together with my (now ex) girlfriend two days prior. Classic...

Anyway, a few months pass, we didn't talk that night, didn't seek contact and didn't see each other since. Two days after breaking up with aforementioned (ex) girlfriend, low and behold, who rocks up to a local bar with our communal friend, yup...
Their timing was horrible, and I was just leaving as they arrived, but again I had the impression that she wouldn't have minded chatting. After I got home, I looked her up on facebook, added her and we chatted a few times. I made it clear from the get-go that I was interested and that I wanted to hang out some time. She didn't seem to mind, but again timing was horrible as she was in the middle of her finals.
Again, fast forward a month or two. Finals are done, and when I initiated contact again she immediately mentioned "yes, I have more time now, if the weather clears up we can go out and have a drink some time". We exchanged numbers, and she'd let me know when her schedule clears up enough to get together (she's just started her first job). The conversation through text seemed promising and playful, although almost always initiated by me (she claims to be a terrible texter, which I believe as she's barely ever on fb and her phone is a 15 year old brick).

And so we get to the point that's bothering me: she hasn't set a date even though she could have, and I found out last night she went to a party two blocks from my place and didn't mention it.

I don't want to come over needy and keep bothering her/begging her to go on a date, but I'm unsure. Maybe that's just what she wants/needs me to do to prove I'm genuinely interested.

What would you do? Leave it be, as she knows where I'm at and the ball is in her court? I'll without a doubt run into her again at the raves we both go to, but I'm generally not into a "sitting-around-and-waiting-for-faith-to-get-me-what-I-want"-kind of guy...


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2016 10:15 am 
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Joined: Tue May 31, 2016 7:33 pm
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I think the fact that you didn't have conversation with her the first, second third fourth etc time you guys saw each other isn't good. Doesnt make things seem natural to her..

She may be being polite by creating all those reasons not go out on a date.. that, or youre not being assertive enough.

I would try one more time, but in a 'natural setting'. next time you bump into her and you guys chat, set a specific time, day, and location for a date. If she flakes or creates obvious excuses, move on.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 12, 2016 3:33 pm 
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The Grand Puba
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Joined: Mon Feb 24, 2014 11:17 pm
Posts: 5962
Location: Los Angeles
She has excuses for everything...finals, weather, working, terrible texter.

Girls that are interested in you aren't going to shit-test you. They aren't going to make you "prove" that you are genuinely interested in them. I'm not saying that there isn't attraction between the two of you, but you are seeing her in person and then running home to contact her and that's so weak.

I wouldn't contact her anymore if I were you. If you guys are in the same social circle, you'll see her again. When you see her, talk to her then.

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